STUD ULTRAS™! - The Taking of Toulouse 2012
And so to Round 1 of the ‘Come With Us and We’ll Go Dreaming’ Stud Ultras™ tour of 2012. The Stud Ultras™ are travelling mob handed. So far, numbers in the region of 3 are being talked about.
The Stud Ultras™ advanced party will be travelling out on Thursday, getting holed up in one of the Toulouse Olympic top boys main boozers. They will then gain the trust of the TO ‘plus seigneurs’ through the regaling of their many European ‘offs’ during their time as leader of Cwmbran Towns ‘Crow Crew’.
In order to enter under the radar of the massed French border patrol, the main body of the Stud Ultras™ will be entering the country under a stealth rail operation on the Friday evening. In order to shake off any tailing ‘five-oh’, an evening has been arranged scratching off the brew pubs of Lille.
The following morning sees an early start with a movement even the opening credits of Dad’s Army could not track. A Stud Ultras™ ritual is that member # 00000002, a mysterious man known only as GW Stud, must travel to a station on the continent that is within a letters difference of the station he started his journey from Blighty from. Thus Montpelier on the Bristol to Avonmouth line, becomes Montpellier on the Cote d'azur.
For those unaware of European Railway awards, for five of the last years, Neath Station footbridge has won the award for the railway artefact that smells most deeply of p!ss. The other two years were won by Montpellier as the whole station reeks of stale urine. Not just a small dose of @#$%& urine as well, I mean 20 gallons of the morning after a night on the White Lightening.
Anyway, from here we make our way to Toulouse where the action will start. Advanced notice from Stud Ultras™ member # 00000004, the aforementioned ‘RR’ will give us warning of where the ‘Olympic’ main men will be waiting the off. Once the Stud Ultras are position, from in side the pub, our heroic plant will raise the battle cry with a pre determined phrase, namely “Turn that f***ing jukebox down, I'm trying to watch the golf”. At which point the Stud Ultras will procede to enter the fray, with the Spirit of St Dominic as the major tactical ploy. After our “Kill them all for the Lord will know his own” move, we intend to occupy the pub in a way that would have the inhabitants of Mafeking feeling a bit put out.
Alternatively, come and join us in the The Frog & Rosbif brew pub in the rue de l'Industrie. We’ll be the ones slagging off rugby union and the Celtic Crusaders (have you noticed how twitchy they become when you call them that?).
“handsome, not sexy, more statuesque”
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 28/02/2012 20:38 by Big Boobs and FIRE!.