Just had first scrum to Newcastle. Harlequins very solid and unmoving.
Had a lineout on Newcastle 5m line. Did our usual "couldn't punch a hole in a wet paper bag" offence, lost the ball and now it's back near our 22. Chisolm earns us a scrum.
Trying to run out of our own 22. Making a pig's ear of the attempt. Finally cleared.
Thanks for the updates. At work so this will be my only way of following and is much appreciated. 
QUIN KONG
QUIN KONG
Quick kick through from Newcastle, Visser ends up having to take the ball over the try line. 5m scrum Newcastle.
H 21 tackles, N 7! Gonova spills the ball and Harlequins kick it out by the 22. Not safe yet
Wow, impressive tackle count!
QUIN KONG
QUIN KONG
Lovely attack by Newcastle. The no 12 ran through about 4/5 of our men. Luke Pierce asks if it was held up over the line. Good attempt by their no 5 Witty. No conclusive view for TMO. Scrum 5. Harlequins play get out of jail card!
A few pick and gos. No 6 Harlequins (chisolm) offside. Going for posts. Won't miss this. Newcastle 3 Harlequins 0.
Bothma finds a rugby ball doesn't always bounce straight. Knocks on on Harlequins 22. Another Harlequins restart wasted.
Hhhhhmmmmm not sounding great at the moment.
QUIN KONG
QUIN KONG
Goneva goes over in the other wing. Simple try, defence nowhere. 3 people watching the man 1 off from Goneva - no-one watching him.
Newcastle 8 Harlequins 0
And we're lucky to have got the zero!
Newcastle 8 Harlequins 0
And we're lucky to have got the zero!
Defence absent again. 8-0
Not as easy as people thought!!!!
Robshaw pinged for a high tackle. Another restart wasted.
Sinoti Sinoti is a real handful today. OMG - a penalty to Harlequins around our 22.
Just looked at the stats so far, 42 tables made, 19 tackles missed 
Roberts is on the field! We're still in our own half. Smith kicks ball away. Newcastle's throw and we got as far as the halfway line! Marvellous!
No arms tackle from Joe Marler. Harlequins defending lineout near 22
Newcastle inches short. Ran through from the 22. Defence is tissue paper. Ref calls them back for another no arm tackle.
Newcastle got for posts. Easy kick.
Newcastle 11 Harlequins hanging on to zero!
Newcastle 11 Harlequins hanging on to zero!
This is god awful how long can we persist like this! No fight at all
Harum Scarum stuff. We lose possession, they lose possession. We're still stuck in our half. Lucky kick from Brown gets lineout inside Newcastle 22. Newcastle gather OK. Sinckler pinged for slapping ball in the maul. So another stupid penalty.
Seems to be a theme with us "Stupid penalty"
Newcastle just threw the ball to an unmarked Green. If he hadn't dropped it he might have been in there. Where the hell is the top four inches?
So scrum about half way into the Harlequins half. 10 minutes to go. Harlequins put in. We try and run it out. Fortunate their 5 was in the way of getting the ball out a maul. Our lineout on Newcastle 22
We started a good training ground move, screwed it up, lost possession. Ended up with lineout on Newcastle 10m line
Visser nearly scores. Goneva catches him. Harlequins lineout. Harlequins screw it up. Business as usual.
OK - this is a Newcastle scrum on their 5m line. Harlequins lineout on Newcastle 22
Penalty Harlequins . Harlequins go for touch. I wonder what happens next?
I think we should try really slow play, and passing to the first receiver each time. They'll never see that coming....
Lineout, maul, tackle. Bothma runs with it, caught in possession, holding on. Penalty Newcastle. that actually took longer than I expected to screw up!
45 seconds left. Newcastle maul. Harlequins held it up so our scrum. Last play of first half. Scrum penalty organised by the Robshaws. Lineout in Newcastle half just by 10m line. Still no penetration. Knock on
Newcastle 11 Harlequins a very lucky nil.
Newcastle 11 Harlequins a very lucky nil.
Really this is so so so poor now, do they not care at all!
On the plus side there's a lovely sunset starting.
I must sincerely apologise to all melons
I don’t think it’s about not caring, it just think our confidence is rock bottom our DoR and coaches are not those that inspire or build confidence. That is a good Quins team on the pitch, they just are not playing well and that is down to leadership and coaching.
Well we can't even use the excuse of having a weak team out. It's pretty soul destroying really when all you want is for your team to play well and try.
Just seen the Gonova try again, Visser makes a total balls up of tackling him, Smith just pushes him as he goes past. As I say, tissue paper defence.
We have missed 30% of our tackles in that 1st half which is pretty disgraceful for a professional club.
This really is appalling. Basic skills non-existent. No heart. No hustle.
I'm struggling to work out what our game plan is (assuming there is one).
I'm struggling to work out what our game plan is (assuming there is one).
We look like a rabble....v embarrassing to say we’re a Premiership Club....we deserve to get relegated playing that way....
Must be our defensive expert tackling is over rated.
Newcastle 11-0 Harlequins 33 Tackles 65 8 Lineouts Won 7 0 Lineouts Lost 1 273 Metres Made 75 28 Defenders Beaten 4 5 Own Scrums Won 3 3 Handling errors 8 4 Penalties Conceded 6 83 Carries 31 273 Metres Made 75 30 Gainline Success 14 10 Offloads 3
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/12/2017 16:06 by DOK.
Those half time stats (and the ones that came up next) make gruesome reading. Bested in every area and not just by a bit.
Don’t forget the 30+ tackles missed by the mighty Quins!....2nd 40 coming up....could make 75
Mike brown. Try
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/12/2017 16:09 by never sleep.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/12/2017 16:09 by never sleep.
Ok - amended stats up. In Newcastle 22. Flat ball from Kitto, Mike Brown goes over. Smith converts. What's happening?
Newcastle 11 - 7 Harlequins
Newcastle 11 - 7 Harlequins
We're about 1 metre into the Newcastle half - this is much better than first half! 
blimey - we picked and went up to the Newcastle 22 practically. Wilson and Sinoti Sinoti clash heads! Urgh! Not nice!
So far this half we look good.
Two Newcastle players have hit heads so we may havea long delay
Scrum Quins
Two Newcastle players have hit heads so we may havea long delay
Scrum Quins
Tait on for Sinoti. Scrum.
Penalty to harlequins. Kick for touch. By Newcastle 22
Harlequins screwed up the rolling maul. Newcastle get a scrum. Middle of Newcastle 22
Robshaw jackals the ball for us. Just by Newcastle 22
Ward caught in possession just as we're looking good.
Wonderful play from Mike Brown, tackle, back on his feet, over the ball, Newcastle penalised for holding on. Great play. Now Maul on halfway line
but Harlequins penalised for a neck roll by Visser. Newcastle in Quins 22 for first time this half.
Newcastle knock on in their own 22.
Did Luamanu get ball down. Try yes or no?
Penalty not rolling away. What to do?
Finally we go for posts and get it. Swirly wind cos Chisolm holds the ball
Newcastle 11 Harlequins 10
Newcastle 11 Harlequins 10
Newcastle rolling maul has made 20 metres or so!
After a long period of Newcastle possession, we finally get the ball back and kick it out on the full! Aaaaargh!
This time we manage to bounce it out but why are we kicking the ball away?
Brain Dead penalty by Glynn. Sigh!
I've been to the last three of these matches, glad I didn't go this year
Penalty Newcastle. They had another unstoppable maul going and we collapsed it. Rowntree really needs to address this!
and another handling error costs us the chance to steal it. just awful
One minute left. Newcastle in possession
Newcastle try and run clock down
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