Press Gang Occupy Coventry
By Dick Straughan
April 29 2007
With an international moratorium on acts of domestic piracy pending, the Press Gang knew they had just one chance left to sack another English settlement. This time the target was Coventry. ---- Cap`n Benbow - the Pirates own Trojan Horse - produced a portable sound system and the festivities began. Music, ale, rugby, and a camaraderie hitherto unknown outside of the world of the Pirates ensued.
April 29 2007
With an international moratorium on acts of domestic piracy pending, the Press Gang knew they had just one chance left to sack another English settlement. This time the target was Coventry. ---- Cap`n Benbow - the Pirates own Trojan Horse - produced a portable sound system and the festivities began. Music, ale, rugby, and a camaraderie hitherto unknown outside of the world of the Pirates ensued.
The crew was assembled in the home port of Penzance at six and a half bells. A large stash of grog bestowed upon the mission for good fortune by Skinner`s Brewery was quickly stowed below on a commandered bus - the SS First - and soon they were underway.
Fellow Pirates were then collected from secret locations en route to English waters. Curnow the bold, Tewennow the bard with his Camborne bodyguards, Luxlad the great master of horses, and formidable Pirates named Bethel and Blazey all bolstered theranks of Cap`n Tony.
As Zelah was reached the crew fell silent. The three fearsome sirens boarded in silence forbidding any man to look at them before their faces were painted for battle lest he be cast asunder. A captured crew mate of the SS First heeded not the warning and the man they did call "Ginge" was smited by the maidens.
Then they did pour forth a substance called Pimms into a sacred chalice containing fruit and vegetables and drank. The crew, observing the ceremony in silent reverence, then invited to join in the celebration.
Allies from Lanson were encountered at Bristol in a captured schooner from Devon. They were planning to scoop rich plunder by the Thames at Henley. Coventry was reached with the sun over the top mast as a Pirate stood guard by the captured helmsman lest he deviate from his course. An ale house was over-run by Pirates from the four corners of Merrie Englande as the staff struggled to sustain the flow of grog.
At three bells with the elite warriors of Dr Jimbo`s Piratical Academy about to do battle in the arena, Admiral Marshy gathered his troops together in one place. "This is a celebration" he whispered knowingly. "Party long and hard and victory will be ours."
Cap`n Benbow - the Pirates own Trojan Horse - produced a portable sound system and the festivities began. Music, ale, rugby, and a camaraderie hitherto unknown outside of the world of the Pirates ensued. It was a celebration applauded by the vanquished Midland-folk as the battle ended.
The spirit of the ranks on the terraces was unquestionable. Leicester Pirate athletically ran the length of the pitch in a vain effort to secure a job back home in Cornwall but Dr Jimbo was not watching. Pirate Bert pooh-poohed a domestic commitment to stay late, and Lichfield the wise produced a bottle of the hallowed substance known in some parts as Vin Rose.
With the SS First due to depart Pirate Becky, attired in the sacred Wig of Woll, struck fear into the hearts of every man present when she declared, "Tattooes are for bad girls" and flaunted her badges of honour. She vowed never to sleep again and to devote her life to the eternal torment of the "Ginge".
The other Zelah warriors settled down to an evening spent haranguing men around the globe via the power of text.
Penzance was reached as the Sabbath drew forth. Another complete success for Piracy Press Gang style.
.........We will be recruiting again soon. If you are not with us, we will find you!
Fellow Pirates were then collected from secret locations en route to English waters. Curnow the bold, Tewennow the bard with his Camborne bodyguards, Luxlad the great master of horses, and formidable Pirates named Bethel and Blazey all bolstered theranks of Cap`n Tony.
As Zelah was reached the crew fell silent. The three fearsome sirens boarded in silence forbidding any man to look at them before their faces were painted for battle lest he be cast asunder. A captured crew mate of the SS First heeded not the warning and the man they did call "Ginge" was smited by the maidens.
Then they did pour forth a substance called Pimms into a sacred chalice containing fruit and vegetables and drank. The crew, observing the ceremony in silent reverence, then invited to join in the celebration.
Allies from Lanson were encountered at Bristol in a captured schooner from Devon. They were planning to scoop rich plunder by the Thames at Henley. Coventry was reached with the sun over the top mast as a Pirate stood guard by the captured helmsman lest he deviate from his course. An ale house was over-run by Pirates from the four corners of Merrie Englande as the staff struggled to sustain the flow of grog.
At three bells with the elite warriors of Dr Jimbo`s Piratical Academy about to do battle in the arena, Admiral Marshy gathered his troops together in one place. "This is a celebration" he whispered knowingly. "Party long and hard and victory will be ours."
Cap`n Benbow - the Pirates own Trojan Horse - produced a portable sound system and the festivities began. Music, ale, rugby, and a camaraderie hitherto unknown outside of the world of the Pirates ensued. It was a celebration applauded by the vanquished Midland-folk as the battle ended.
The spirit of the ranks on the terraces was unquestionable. Leicester Pirate athletically ran the length of the pitch in a vain effort to secure a job back home in Cornwall but Dr Jimbo was not watching. Pirate Bert pooh-poohed a domestic commitment to stay late, and Lichfield the wise produced a bottle of the hallowed substance known in some parts as Vin Rose.
With the SS First due to depart Pirate Becky, attired in the sacred Wig of Woll, struck fear into the hearts of every man present when she declared, "Tattooes are for bad girls" and flaunted her badges of honour. She vowed never to sleep again and to devote her life to the eternal torment of the "Ginge".
The other Zelah warriors settled down to an evening spent haranguing men around the globe via the power of text.
Penzance was reached as the Sabbath drew forth. Another complete success for Piracy Press Gang style.
.........We will be recruiting again soon. If you are not with us, we will find you!
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