Heineken CupPool 1 Round 3

Northampton Saints v Bennetton Treviso

Franklin's Gardens 12th December K.O. 3pm

As I tuned in, the weather seems about the same. Northampton: partly sunny, cold, 12mph winds. Maine: partly sunny, cold (OK, about 10 degrees colder!), 7mph winds. I could sympathise with you all sitting out there in the cold, while I'm in my centrally heated apartment. No really, I could.

So, it seems that because I wasn't nice to all you folk who got to watch the match in the cold, I get punished. The Treviso team came out, and instantly the radio feed died. It really wasn't my fault, as several other people had the same issue. It seems that there were "technical or contractual issues," which translates as "Sorry, non-UK people... you can't listen to the radio!" However, just for the entertainment, I'll still attempted to do my best at writing up what happens, using only a couple of live text feeds. Due to me not knowing how or why things happened, this is going to be a write-your-own, fill in the blanks report...

Treviso seemed to come out more awake than the Saints. After only five minutes, the Treviso flanker went over for a try. It was a great run/amazing interchange of passes/controversial/soft (delete as appropriate) try by the flanker Vermaak. The winger/kicker Botes was successful with the conversion making it look easy/hard/like a wobbly haggis (delete as appropriate). Saints down 0 - 7 with only 6 minutes on the clock.

An indiscretion by Treviso for _____________ (insert offense here) gave the chance for Shane to kick for the sticks. The kick is good/easy/simple/better than his first against Bath (delete as appropriate). The flags went up, and it was 3 - 7 with twelve minutes on the clock.

However, the respite was brief. Five minutes later, the Treviso flyhalf put over a drop kick. It was amazing/simple/well-taken/in off the bar/kicked from his own line (delete as appropriate). Sir says the kick is good, and the scoreboard reads 3 - 10 about half way through the first half. Is it one way traffic? Are Treviso going to pull another shock, not only beating the Saints, but beating them in Fortress Franklins? Who knows?!

The next text update that gets posted was another penalty against Treviso who ______________ (insert offense here), and Shane had a chance to narrow the gap. However, his kick drifted left/right/low/closer to the corner flag (delete as appropriate), and the score remained at 3 - 10 with 15 minutes to go.

During the next ten to fifteen minutes, ______________________, and even __________________! (insert your own description of play here).

Things then got worse for the Saints. With less than ten minutes to go until half time, Saints gave away a stupid/needless/ridiculous (delete as appropriate) penalty in range for Botes, who promptly missed. That's not the bad part. One minute later, Treviso are back in drop goal range, and Goosen calmly/cheekily/deservedly/amazingly (delete as appropriate) slots his second DG of the half. Saints down 3 - 13 with about 5 minutes left on the clock. Things were not looking good.

However, as I typed that, Ben Foden caps off a brilliant/amazing/wonderful (delete as appropriate) effort, scoring in the corner/under the posts/a try, what else would he score? (delete as appropriate). Shane missed the conversion, and half time looked a little better at 8 - 13.

Rumours are posted on the forum that the radio feed is back, and sure enough, things have indeed changed. My radio player has been replaced by a little box saying "Not available in your area." On the up side, at least I'm not getting that message spoken to me over and over again!

Second half starts, still with no audio. Looks like Saints stayed unchanged, while Treviso made two sub - the prop Rizzo is replaced by Allori, because he's injured/unfit/ugly/smelly/other (delete as appropriate), and Vidal comes on for the hooker, who is unfit/injured/bleeding/dying/hungry (delete as appropriate).

The half time talk seemed to have worked for the Saints, as Joe Ansboro goes in for Saints second try after only 3 minutes. This one was better/worse/in the same place (delete as appropriate) as Foden's, but Shane still seems to have forgotten his kicking boots/how to kick/where he aims for (delete as appropriate) as he missed the conversion. Scores tied at 13 apiece.

Only two minutes later the amazing/on form/next England star (hah! This England?)/hottest thing in the Premiership/try machine that is (delete as appropriate) Chris Ashton goes over for his 6th try in three games, and this time Tintin put over the kick. At last, and for the first time, Saints are in the lead, 20 - 13, and only 6 minutes have gone in the second half. One more try for the bonus please!!

I must be getting good at this psychic typing. As I wrote the last paragraph, Ashton went in for his second try on 54 minutes. Another try in the corner/under the posts/in the amazing career of Flash (delete as appropriate) means that Saints now have their fourth, and importantly, their bonus point try. Geraghty converted, and Saints are suddenly up 27 - 13. Bonorino comes on for Murray, who is getting better with each game back/tired/fine/injured again (delete as appropriate). At the same time, Kruger comes on for Day, and on the Treviso side, former Wasp Fraser Waters comes on in the centre for Garcia.

With three-quarters of the match gone, Treviso fly half Goosen decided to show people that scoring drop goals wasn't all he could do. He flies/dives/waddles/gets gifted(delete as appropriate) a try, which Botes missed with his conversion attempt. Just to compound that, Lawes gets a yellow for punching/fighting/laying down the long arm/stamping/attempting to eat the scrum half (delete as appropriate), straight from the restart.

Into the last 15 minutes, and Jim makes a couple more substitutions. Myler comes on for Downey, so I'm guessing that Shane shifted in to centre, Dickens on for Dickson, Bwian on for Tiny, Gray on for Best, which I think just about emptied the bench. For those that say mass substitutions upset the flow of the game, Smyler gets the ball for an attempt at the sticks. It sails through/bounces of the posts/squeaks over (delete as appropriate) and the flags go up. 30 - 18 to Saints. Oh, I was wrong... still more subs left on the Saints bench! Mayor comes on for Ansboro, which leaves Brett Sharman as the only sub unused.

Ah... wondered whether my psychic typing would strike again. Sharman came on to replace Dylan, and we're in to the last ten minutes. The highlight of the next few minutes was definitely _____________, when ______________ did _________________. And then, with only four minutes to go, Treviso's replacement scrum half, Picone got yellow carded for fighting/stamping/arguing/overuse of Italian gestures/trying to switch sides when losing (delete as appropriate). Treviso spent the last few minutes with only fourteen on the field, but it didn't really make a difference, as there was no extra score. Saints win 30 - 18 to sit second in Pool 1, only 1 point behind Munster.

The lack of coverage from Radio Northampton was _____________ (insert choice of expletives here) annoying to say the least, but in the end, I was still able to get most of what went on (!). The highlight of the game had to be _______________, and my man of the match must have been _____________________ due to his amazing ___________________.  I also have to add that the second half was superbly relayed by Undersizedprop. Many thanks from all who tuned in to his updates on the forum!

Tune in next week for a report written by someone who is actually going to be at the game, and will hopefully actually make sense! Until then, my parting thought about this game....

_______________________________.

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