Most people associate Defence against the Dark Arts with Harry Potter
and co and the teachings at Hogwarts, but to others this has been around long before Professors Snape, Quilly and Lockhart. The real Dark Arts are only known by a select few rugby players.

These players - never usually the most handsome, articulate, or widely praised for their scholastic abilities - are more famous for
the eating and drinking abiliites (inclduing aftershave). They are a certain breed that play in the front row, and not many young players have ambitions to play
this position; they are usually selected for the front row by coaches, seeing someone who is maybe a bit chunky and a little slow, or as they get older they are not tall enough (to continue) to play in the 2nd row, nor are quick enough to play in the backrow.

But once selected to join exclusive club for ever more you will be a lifetime member. It is a tight knit members club with stringent rules on secrecy. Anyone even daring to think of passing on these secrets can be excommunicated (which is NOT a pleasant ceremony!) 
So by doing this I am for ever risking excommunication, and a  life time ban from this club - so, dear reader, value this information I pass on to you.

Tighthead v Loosehead

So where to begin ? why not the difference between a Loosehead and a
Tighthead, as most props who post (like me) get a little agrieved when
props are selected out of place i.e Mike MacDonald at Tighthead or Adam
Jones at Loosehead.
 
The loosehead's (normally wearing shirt #1),  main job is to hold up the scrum on their own put in, they look to keep the scrum up so the hooker can get a clear strike on the ball. Ideally the loosehead will be the taller of the props (I
know in some teams this is not the case), when packing down the
loosehead's left shoulder is on the outside so looseheads ideally have
great strength in the left side as they need to keep the scrum up as
well as great strength in the necks. On opposition ball the Loosehead
will try to disrupt the opposing tighthead by getting under him and
driving up or backwards. The loosehead will always try to get his head
under his opponents breast plate as from here he 'pops' the prop up, or
if the tighthead ties to drop the scrum he will be in a lot of
discomfort as all the loosehead's strength is pushing up hard (to get an idea what it feels like hold a ball close to your stomach and pull in hard)
 
The tighthead's (#3) main job on their own put in is to lock the scrum in
place as when a push comes on in the scrum all the weight is transfered
through the tighthead. In some scrums this can nearly equate to 2 tons of
weight being transfered through their body. Ideally the tighthead is a
little shorter and more squat than the loosehead and they need a lot of
strength in the necks, shoulders and backs. However, it is on the
opposing put-in where the Tighthead comes into play as its the
Tighthead job to disrupt the opposing scrum to drive lower, disrupt and
generally be a nuisance and they can do this in a number of ways.

There are far too many ways to note here but I will note some of my
favourites:

When binding to your own hooker the tighthead will turn
slightly; he may drop his left leg back a little and bring his right leg
forward by doing this his right shoulder is further forward and his left
shoulder back. When engaging the tighthead is looking to 'bore' across
the hooker and will try to stick his his head into the oppsing Hookers
face and will try to get his right shoulder over as well. By doing this
the tighthead is trying to jam the hooker and make it difficult to
either raise his leg to strike the ball or get a clean view of the ball
coming in, as the Tighthead's head/face will be blocking his view, also
by doing this he is splitting the looshead and hooker apart which will
disrupt the scrum.

There is not enough room to note all "dirty tricks" but a few of the old
school include grabbing an armful of hair (not head hair pulling) but
the hair under the armpit! This is quite a sensitive area and when you
grab a handful or have a handful grabbed it can be quite painful.

Lovehandles - much like the above; grab a handful as you pack down even
Props sound like Big Girls when you grab a handful of wobbly flesh.

Ralgex - whilst most rugby players librally spray ralgex or Deep Heat on the legs to keep warm some props have been known to spray Ralgex on their playing shirts so when they pack down the opposing prop gets a face full of
burning chemical. This can be quite off-putting as it does make your eyes water! (If you can't get hold of Ralgex or Deep Heat, Vapor-Rub has much the same effect!)

Onions & garlic - no, not an imaginative prop-orented recipe but if you chew raw onions or garlic it will give you an unpleasant breath and a quick exhale can have a similar effect as above. (Of course the down side is your own team avoids you as well!)
 

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