Picture courtesy of Tiggs
By The Power Of Welford!
Picture courtesy of Tiggs
By TigerGeezer March 3 2008
So: all set for the first trip to the not-quite-as-much-of-a-fortress-as-we’d-like-just-recently Welford Road since the spanking of Newcastle (how long ago THAT seems). Geezer Junior II is not coming, but has “kindly” lent me his tiger head hat so I can look like a berk. A berk with warm ears, mind.
Picture courtesy of Tiggs
So: all set for the first trip to the not-quite-as-much-of-a-fortress-as-we’d-like-just-recently Welford Road since the spanking of Newcastle (how long ago THAT seems). Geezer Junior II is not coming, but has “kindly” lent me his tiger head hat so I can look like a berk. A berk with warm ears, mind.
On the train up to Leicester, I explain to Geezer Junior that I have a bit of a soft spot for the Tykes – I can’t refer to them as “Carnegie”, it sounds like the one in the Banana Splits that looked like a dog. Remarkably, the boy knows what I’m talking about – must be the corrupting influence of Cartoon Network – and consideration of how Castro’s beard makes him look like Captain Caveman leads into discussion of Tigers as cartoon characters.
Stanko as Shrek and Cozza as Captain Scarlet are fairly obvious, and Geezer Junior sees my Julian White as Spike (now listen here, Pus-sy Cat) and raises me Jordan Crane as He-Man. Hmmm – blond hair, muscles: I’ll buy it, but who would the evil Skeletor be? “Laurence Dallaglio”, comes the immediate answer. True, but he’s not playing, so who? “The ref”. Now, I’d normally advocate respect for the officials, and the amiable Mr Rowden is not exactly your average skull-headed villain, but since we’ll be standing on the terrace and thus will be mere scales on the impermeable hide of the mighty one-eyed Crumbie Monster, the whistle is with Skeletor. We agree this match needs home team tries, and lots of them, to put back on track a team of Tigers who over the last fortnight have looked more like Cringer than Battle Cat; but the starting XV looks like it’s been picked with a view to running the ball, and the bench is strong, with the prospect of a returning Alex Tuilagi and Harry Ellis. “Muttley”. Come again? “Harry is like Muttley”, opines Geezer Junior. Now that’s a bit lateral, but the more I think about it, the more I see Hazza doing that wheezy snigger. And Geezer Junior assures me that Tom Varndell is the dead spit of Mace Windu, he being a Jedi with a shaven head (Windu, that is, although we could use some Force today). Anyway, at Grayskull – sorry, WR - time for an early pint of Tiger before taking up the front-of-terrace position to watch the boys warm up. Geezer Junior asks what the beer is like, so after making sure the Home Secretary isn’t watching, I let him dip a finger in the foam and taste that. “Mmmm, nice and bitter” is the reaction. Either a boy of precocious sophistication, or I have spawned a binge drinker. Anyway, there’s Alex – yay! And Hazza (“Muttley” corrects Geezer Junior) – yay! Both looking sharp. Feeling good. But not for long. Leeds kick off long, Jordan pouches it safely, runs it up into contact – and out of possession. What the blazes happened there? Next thing we know, Tigers are falling off the tackle, Leeds are three metres from the Tigers line, and the exceptionally large Leeds tighthead Pala’amo takes it and barrels over. Silence for the kicker? Too right – the silence that is called “stunned”. Di Bernardo pops over the extras, and it’s 7-0 Leeds after two minutes. But Tigers immediately go on the offensive, and win a penalty, with Humphs kicking for touch with a view to pulling back seven rather than three. Only that’s not how it works. Leeds defence looks gappy, any number of times it looks as though someone is going to run right through it, but Tigers just can’t make it count, with what would have been a wonderful try after Humphs weaves past any number of defenders going agonisingly begging when the pass to Varndell is spurned and Humphs is into touch in-goal. After camping in the Leeds 22 for what seems like ten minutes, they come away with nothing. And the error-strewn performance continues: nothing wanting in terms of commitment, but we’re getting little things wrong, and Skeletor is either not seeing what seems to the one eye to be repeated offside by Leeds, or they are playing him very cutely. Tigers don’t play him so well, the result being an eminently kickable penalty which Di Bernardo eminently kicks. 0-10. Reedin’ rell, as Scooby-Doo would say. And Tigers go back on the attack, our pack is dominant, Leeds are being minced in the scrum and not looking happy at the lineout, but promising play is being snuffed out by errors, and Leeds push up after turning Tigers over again, set it up in front of the posts to give Di Bernardo a pot at a drop goal which he takes with ease to make it a heart-sinking 0-13. He has more drop goals than anyone except Charlie Hodgson this season, if stats are any consolation, which they aren’t. And just to put the little cherry on the brown and steamy cake, Geordan’s off. Mind you, with Johne Murphy going to full back to replace him, that means Alex is on. . Let’s have some Tuilagi power to match the display of same that brother Andy is doing for Leeds. And power is what we get, from the pack, who turn that scrum dominance into points with a rumbling shove on with He-Man controlling the ball at the back before taking a pushover try straight out of the Deano manual. By The Power Of Welford! Much more like it. Simple conversion makes it a six-point difference. Leeds go on the attack and are moving the ball well in the Tigers 22, when Tom a.k.a. Mace makes the most of the Windu of opportunity (sorry) offered by a floated pass to time his charge, snatch the interception and race the length of the pitch for Tigers’ second. Simple conversion for Humphs sails into the post – POST??? Never mind, Leeds look nothing like as assured now, and some niggle is creeping in, suggesting they are worried, as well they might be when Humphs lands a penalty five minutes later to make it 15-13. Lovely defensive work in the backs keeps Leeds at bay – Humphs dummying the clearance kick to wrong-foot the charger, gaining yards and a clear boot to touch, a superb mark under a towering high ball from Johne Murphy, before a tap and pass over to Humphs to clear with a kick that could have come out of a field gun. And Leeds go beyond niggle shortly before half time when Satala leads with his knee in taking Varndell out in the air, and eventually, after a word with the TJ, Skeletor produces the Yellow of Sin. Tigers don’t quite manage to capitalise before half time, but it doesn’t take long after the break before they have another of the old-school scrum rumbles going, and Jordan scores – no, Jordan is stopped from scoring by dodgy deeds from Leeds – looks like Balders (surely he didn’t learn to behave like that with Tigers hahaha), and it’s a penalty try. The post goes unhit this time, 22-13, and Tigers now look more like the side the teamsheet would have suggested. Alex T is now worrying the Leeds defence, some terrific leg-pumping making yards in contact and offloads working better, and Hipkiss is looking sharper, and after what really is a blip when Di Bernardo lands another penalty to put Leeds within bonus point range, a wonderful team movement gives Tigers their bonus point and effectively denies Leeds theirs, with more of that Tuilagi leg-pumping stuff taking Tigers to the 22, Humphs feeding Hipkiss in the next phase, lovely inside break and through a tackle from Hipkiss before passing to Cozza, who looks as if he’s going for the line, he can, but no, he waits, draws the cover and puts it on a plate for Johne Murphy with a sweetly-weighted pass for Murphy to go over in the corner right under an ecstatic Geezer Junior’s nose. Difficult conversion goes begging, but we don’t care. And we care even less when Hazza makes his return on the hour. He looks sharp and up for it, and is it my imagination, or is the ball coming off the back of those rucks quicker? And joy is complete in the last ten when Tigers set up solid scrum possession again on about halfway, Hazza feeds Humphs, who makes a lovely break towards the wing, can he avoid the tackle, offload, no, what a step inside, genius, has he got the speed, look at him go, ALL THE WAY, UNDER THE POSTS, YEEEESSS! God that was exciting. Best individual try I’ve seen all season. And he adds his own extras, lovely lovely lovely. There is a the small matter of a Leeds try by Hepworth which takes it to 34-21, but that is ultimately a grand day out again, although my soft spot for Leeds remains, and it pains me a bit to have to report that I think their defence is just too porous for survival this season. Official MoM Stanko – can’t argue with that, given how he minced two different tightheads and so doing contributed to an area of dominance that turned the match in Tigers’ favour. You could make an argument for Johne Murphy or the mercurial Humphs, but it’s nice to see a fatboy get the plaudits. Positives – plenty, for me, including the very satisfactory scrummaging, some ambition to go out and score, Humphs showing Goodey that there is competition, the return of a remarkably sharp-looking Ellis and Tuilagi, and when all is said and done, five tries and five points. Negatives – lineouts on the dodgy side (how we miss Wentzel), too many errors of execution, and, f’Chrissakes, not waking up until we were down by double digits.Standout moment? On the pitch, that Humphs try; off it, unexpectedly meeting Ulster and Ireland legend, Ian’s big brother and all-round Nice Guy David Humphreys, and finally, when Stanko came by clutching his MoM champagne and wreathed in smiles, Geezer Junior holding up his Tiger mascot toy with No. 1 on the back and signed by Stanko some weeks earlier and saying “Number 1 Tiger” – the ear-to-ear grin that prompted was something to behold. Fatboys and small boys – a heartwarming combination.
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Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: Tiggs (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:12:36:56
Excellant, and most amusing, and who are these cartoon characters such as He-Man ?? I just about remember Scooby Doo, and Mutley !!!
Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: chandler262827 (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:12:54:06
Great stuff, many thanks Mr Geezer!
Had to miss this match thanks to some rather selfish friends expecting me to go to their wedding. Sounds like I missed some good entertainment.
Had to miss this match thanks to some rather selfish friends expecting me to go to their wedding. Sounds like I missed some good entertainment.
Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: KevinR (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:15:00:00
Thanks, TG. Loved it!
Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: Nell (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:16:47:16
Thanks geezer, great piece
Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: Stopsy (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:19:02:07
Brilliant, many thanks TG.
Re: By The Power Of Welford!
Posted by: Downsey (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:03:21:59:46
Great stuff! Downsey junior (atending his first ever game) couldn't have put it better. ![[:wor kid:]](../phorum-5.1.15/mods/smileys/images/13.gif "[:wor kid:]")
Stand out moment... obviously meeting Tighr Chick (she told me to say that...)
Stand out moment... obviously meeting Tighr Chick (she told me to say that...)
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