….Except they aren’t acting like a team. They are mostly sitting at separate tables. I can see Jeremy Thompson, and a laconic Dippy saying "Hi" lugubriously to my worshipping 10 year old as she pesters him for an autograph. Francois Pienaar passes me with a Cafetière which he plonks down in front of the vast shape of Cobus Wiesse. They talk unintelligibly. But will " Fats", as Thompson audibly describes him be playing for us next year. Will Allain Penaud,,,,, but wait, is he there or am I dreaming.

In my room at work I have a framed notelet headed ‘Stakis Hotels’, "Neville, Thanks for the support" It says and it’s signed by Pienaar, Thompson and Gavin Johnson. After dinner last night they sat chatting miles form the rest of the team.

I remember; I was DEFINATELY there. But the team didn’t turn up for the game. Ray, little Jonnie and I sat in the stand and watched us fail to get out of our half. We played like we hardly knew each other and I suspect that was, in fact, the case.

It wasn’t always like this. The year before we’d drawn 10-10 with Andy Lee scoring. 1 missed conversion (Was it) from recording a win, our first, at Leics.

We’re still waiting.

Jonnie and I have been to Leics, perhaps, 3 times since 98-99, and we were roasted on each occasion. We haven’t been back. In those days we only had to drive to Watford or The Stoop to see us dismembered horribly, why go all the way to Leicester for that when you can see it much  nearer to home!

There have been some bright spots at home especially of late. One year, (munches cake) we were again staring down the barrel. I remember a poem being posted on this very site. It was tremendous stuff, a cross between Henry V, and erm, another bit of Henry V.  It got printed in the match day program and we only went and beat the so-and-sos didn’t we? I don’t suppose the call to arms had anything to do with that but it felt like it must have done.

And of late as our fortunes have risen as fast as they have subsequently fallen, we have mostly done the bis re Leics. At home anyway. Away? Well lets just say that we are still waiting for that first ever win.

So the question presents itself. Will we win this time? Well, the team that beat Biarritz could well do. Leics don’t seem at their best at present. Unlike us they’ve got players playing in the 6 Nations and they are big players at that.

But we, enigmatic to a fault, are betwixt and between again. The team humbled by Quins a couple of weeks ago couldn’t beat Woodford Green Preps under 9 girls netball team, let alone another 15 adult blokes.

I’d like to think that the improvement, noticeable in the Irish and Sale games, over the recent rubbish served up, has placed us at the standard required to get over the line on Satdee. But how the hell can you predict anything about Sarries?

And as I sip my tea and contemplate another munch of this half eaten madelaine, I will content myself with the thought that we won’t be travelling up to the match this year either.

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