The Fez will be up at the crack of dawn ready for the journey down the M4 to see the EDF Energy Semi-Final double header, but with the likes of Justin Marshall, James Hook and Gavin Henson in town you’ll have to be up even earlier if you want to get in the hairdressers on Saturday morning! Has so much highlighting and fake tan ever been seen on a rugby pitch?

The Ospreys squad as we well know is full of Welsh internationals, and where they don’t have a member of the all-conquering Wales team they make do with an ex- All Black. The stand-out players for Wales (IMHO) in the 6-nations have been Lee Byrne, who seems to possess the biggest boot in the tournament as well as being a good runner and tackler, and Shane Williams who could find space in a phone box. Thankfully he still doesn’t pass the ball unless he is filling in at scrum-half for Mike Phillips when he is taking one his regular 10 minute breaks, but I guess the Welsh will argue that he doesn’t need to pass as he always scores when he gets the ball…

Of course the big names are Network Rail’s favourite customer Mr Charlotte Church, who has been steady if not spectacular on his return to international rugby. Warren Gatland seems keen to make sure James Hook doesn’t get the idea he is guaranteed a starting spot every match and keeps him and Stephen Jones on their mettle. If only Brian Ashton could do the same with Cipriani and Wilkinson…

Ryan Jones has made an excellent return from his serious shoulder injury problems (seems a common problem for No. 8s) and looks back to the form that made him the star of the 2005 Lions tour.

Stoking the boilerhouse will be Ian Gough and Alun Wyn-Jones who have both looked in fine fettle recently, so Hugh and Chris Jack will need to be at their belligerent best to win this vital contest.

Up front the HairBear Bunch give the Ospreys pack the appearance of a mobile haystack, but for all of that they are decent scrummagers and very comfortable with ball in hand. But would you swap them for Census……I doubt it!

Our campaign started on a Friday night in October up in Leeds, and I doubt many Sarries fans were booking hotel rooms in Cardiff based on the team selected that night. Nevertheless, a backline of messers Dickens, Ross, Thrower, McMullen, Penney, Van de Merwe and Haughton racked up nearly 50 points. A rather stronger team took the field the following week at home to Bristol, but after 60 minutes of toil the game was still in the balance. Enter Jackson and de Kock rather like Batman and Robin, and within minutes tries are flowing and we end up comfortable winners.

The bonus point that Llanelli had earned in the last minute at Bristol in Round 1 meant that we still had work to do in the final match in Wales, as we had to earn at least one bonus point (there were more permutations than the National Lottery).

The first half-hour gave little cause for alarm as we only conceded a couple of penalties and actually managed a try of our own. But no Sarries venture is complete without a major scare along the way, and 20 minutes later our defence has disintegrated and 4 tries have been conceded. At this point Ross is replaced by Farrell and the backline suddenly look dangerous with tries quickly coming from Kamelli and Powell. Census also joins the fray and produces a memorable 50 yard chip and chase which leads to a second try from our man-of-the-match P.Nulty. With the last kick of the match Faz knocks over a penalty to secure the losing ‘win’.

The Hairspray’s route was fairly simple. Worcester produced one of the worst displays ever seen and went down 16-47 in round 1, and then London Irish fielded a reserve team in Swansea and were duly thumped 51-16. In the final round Quins had the Ospreys down to 12 men just before half time but still failed to score a single point.

Whilst the Sarries last 5 outings have produced only a solitary narrow win, the Ospreys have been winning a grand-slam. On that basis they must start as overwhelming favourites, but how will they go into this match? A continuation of their Grand-Slam form would suggest a very difficult early evening for the Men In Black, but if they think they’ve just got to turn up to win……

And remember this: We’ve never lost when we’ve appeared on the same double-header as Wasps and Leicester- in fact we beat Gloucester on the previous (alright, only) occasion.

What we certainly will have to do for a change, is play for the full 80 minutes. Most of our recent outings have seen us take a lead only to lose all or most of it. You have to go back to the Biarritz game to find the last time Sarries closed out a game properly, and that seems like an awful long time ago.

I’m pretty sure we will go in with our strongest team, particularly now the top 4 is well out of reach. But don’t forget that neither Glenda or de Kock have started an EDF match this year, so I’m sure Gordon Ross will have his boots cleaned ready!

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