The switch, from Sunday, must have been subject to the Official Secrets Act, judging by the paucity of advertising. Are Dallaglio's movements to be treated in the manner of a Dubya visit to Iraq?

OK, it may lack the backdrop of the Pyrenees or Watford General, but it is just the size of ground we could do with, and the ticket prices now look very reasonable when compared to Northampton or Gloucester. It's just in the wrong place!

Sampson and de Lynagh.

You may be wondering if there is anyone left alive who can remember when we last won this fixture? Well let me tell you miserable bunch of pessimists that we won it last season! Alright, it was at Twickenham, but we scored a pretty comfortable 29-19 win nevertheless.

Our last PROPER away win goes back to the heady days of 1997/8, when we won 19-15 thanks to a Ryan Constable try and 4 penalties from the God that is Michael Lynagh, and would have scored more if Brendon Daniel had not dropped the ball when diving un-challenged for a try (so I'm told). Apparently 500 supporters were delayed by traffic problems, and were unable to get into the ground as the Loftus Road turnstiles were closed at half-time. I wonder if they realised they'd have to wait another 10 years to see Sarries bag an away win? The following season we managed a 15-all draw in a kicking contest between Gavin Johnson and Kenny Logan, but the pain began in earnest in 2000, with a heavy 41-17 defeat thanks again to the kilted dancer scoring most of the points.

It all kicked-off the next season, when Paul Sampson found his way into the hearts of many Sarries fans by thumping Lord Lucan several times in an off the ball incident. Even referee Steve Lander didn't seem to mind. This was the afternoon when our kicker was none other than SuperKev himself, although we had so little possession he only got two goes at it.

Lucky to get nil

Those days were miserable enough, but the ‘crowning turd in the waterpipe' was surely 23 December 2003 when we travelled to Wycombe without Richard Hill and Taine Randell as they had been captaining the teams in the England v NZ post world-cup game the day before. A few weeks previously we had been well and truly stuffed 42-3 at Vicarage Road, and with a depleted squad the omens were not good. Andy Goode had just departed, so Thomas Castaignede at last got the number 10 shirt he so badly wanted. He caught the kick-off, and within a nano-second, was tasting the Wycombe turf, having been splatted by Joe Worsley and subsequently took about 5 minutes to get up. Things went downhill from there, and it was surprising Wasps only managed 41 points with the possession they had. What never seemed in doubt was that our score remained stuck on zero; there seemed more chance of getting sunstroke than Sarries scoring, and it was about -5C! Can we blame the ref? It was Steve Leyshon after all.  The season's aggregate of 83-3 was roughly on par with the England v Uruguay score in the RWC that had just finished leaving us in no doubt where we stood.

So near yet so far

In 2006 we really should have won. After a sticky start we opened up a 21-6 lead early in the second half thanks to tries from the Mercurial one and big Cencus. A Wasps fightback seemed to have been nipped in the bud when Rodd Penney added a third try with only 10 minutes left, but they got off the canvas once again and Eoin Reddan scored two late tries to break Sarries hearts.

Pre-Xmas cheer

Whilst our form in the Festive fixtures has been pretty patchy to say the least, we have done rather well in the Christmas Eve games over the past few years. After misbehaving at the Quins ‘Pimms and Nibbles' party two years running we have not been allowed back for a third season;  Brucie's late try in the fog  in 2006 is just not the sort of thing expected from the Hoi Polloi when they get invited somewhere posh.

The year before we beat Ulster in the Heineken Cup and the sight of Ches and Justin Harrison locking antlers certainly heralded the start of Pantomime season! In 2004 we played the Falcons in the Powergen Cup in what marked the birth of another false dawn, it being Steve Diamond's first game in charge following the Parma-gate affair. After getting a decent early lead Newcastle came back strongly, and we were grateful to Johnny missing a couple of place-kicks and drop goals to keep us just in front. And now we're all the way back to 23 Dec 2003 at Wycombe...

Here we go again.

Earlier this year we set off down the M4 to play the Wales team in white shirts, under the watchful gaze of Charlotte Church. This time we head up the M40 to play England in black shirts, and presumably Kelly Brook will be doing the honours as celebrity-in-chief. The Ospreys certainly showed their international pedigree in Cardiff, and we can only hope Wasps show their England form on Sunday.

Even by their standards, Wasps made a very poor start to the season. The trouble is, come April you just know they will still come storming through on the rails as if they were being ridden by Lester Piggott. Recent fixtures against Newcastle and Edinburgh have given them the chance to get some confidence boosting wins under their belt, and the boy wonder has presumably recovered from his man-flu.

So can we do it? The history book says no, but the form book says maybe. While we have been proficient in dealing with the lesser minions this season, we are alarmingly consistent in coming up about 5 points short in the games that count; so yet again I fear we will have to travel in hope rather than expectation.

On that cheerful note I bid you all a great Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Oh Come! all ye Fezboys,

Hopeful not expectant,

Oh come, ye, oh come, ye to A-a-dams Park

Come and get frozen, in the house of Dayglo

Oh come let us support them,

Oh come let us support them,

Oh come let us support them-m-m

Sa-a-ra-cens!

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