FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights squad announced
By Large
June 18 2009
The Draw for the 2009 CHP Consulting International Fat Bloke 7s, to be held at Reading Abbey RFC on Saturday 18 July, has been announced and the Arabian Knights have been promoted into Pool 3 following their Arse-winning exploits of 2008, their third triumph in the competition.
June 18 2009
The Draw for the 2009 CHP Consulting International Fat Bloke 7s, to be held at Reading Abbey RFC on Saturday 18 July, has been announced and the Arabian Knights have been promoted into Pool 3 following their Arse-winning exploits of 2008, their third triumph in the competition.
The Draw in full
Pool 1 (quite good)
Abbey Ruins
Cr*p Hopeless Players
Fat Cats
Thin Beaks
Old Herpeans
Drones
Pool 2 (Reasonable)
Kaysie's Crusaders
Sutton Shockers
Glaws Orcs
Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls
Dirty Eskimos
Monkey Spankers
Pool 3 (Also Reasonable)
King Size Falcons
Harlequin FB
Berkshire Fire
Fat Beaks
Arabian Knights
Leicester Lager Louts
Pool 4 (Absolutely Atrocious)
Flatulent Fairies
Bristol Pasty Eaters
Bath Tubs
Worcester Wobblers
Leeds Lardies
Team Badger
Sponsorship
After the success of last season's sponsorship campaign whicn raised £1,400 for the tournament charities, the Knights have once again received support for this year's charities Help for Heroes and Wooden Spoon courtesy of Safestore Self Storage, The Druid Pub Company, TF Tull Ltd., Kain Knight and Oldgrovewood Properties and the total raised in 2009 is likely to top £700. We are, of course, exremely grateful for the support of our sponsors for the second consecutive year.
The Squad
The 2009 squad sees quite a few changes from the one of 2008 as stalwarts Gas Man (Stroudy), Kwong and Jackson 5 have all left the fold to play for their own team, Old Herpeans, who won last year's Cup competition. We at the Knights wish them all the best in the defence of their title.
Also missing this year will be Fat Sam, Baloo, Spidermonkey and Bungle, all of whom have prior commitments, but we're hoping to see them back in the fold in 2010.
Team Captain Suspect and I have cast the net far and wide for players with a tenuous Saracens link and it is hoped that about 20 players will be there on the day to represent the Knights. The squad lines up as follows:
1. No Neck - demon tackler, if a little early at times, check out the video below to see what I mean.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5i2hiq_nPU
2. Deep Fat - demon barbecuer, might even get a game if his wife lets him.
3. El Perro - will turn up sooner or later, probably hungover and will play just to show off his scrummaging prowess coz he doesn't have any running or handling prowess.
4. Cable - hoping to make a return this year after missing 2008 with injury. Scorer of the match-winning try against the Fairies in a deluge a couple of years ago.
5. Appollo - New to the Knights, I thought that, when I saw the name, we had a former Samoa international. Turns out he's one of Woody's mates from Stevenage, but he's welcome nonetheless.
6. Sumo - great name for a fat bloke. Although, as he's making his debut and I haven't met him yet, he's likely to be 12 stone and able to run 100m in under 11 seconds. I hope.
7. Woody - everyone's (especially Kat's) favourite floppy-haired flanker will try to find a position in 7s he can actually play.
8. Parker - the management is hoping the big man with the busted email is going to turn up on time after his successful 2008 debut which began in about the fourth match
9. Rozzer - please have some sympathy with the greatest passer of a rugby ball I have ever seen as he spent the first 10 years of his career staring mainly at my backside as he was scrum half and I was no8 for school, district, county club. I'm sure he was relieved to look at someon else's arse at age group international level.
10. Big Al - always on hand, normally with your pint, the biggest no.10 since Diego Maradona and has more flags than the UN building.
11. Suspect - captain oak-tree-cum-winger wants to play outside half this year. Well, you wouldn't argue with him now, would you?
13. Herman - Girls! He's back! And he promises to get his kit off again just for you!
14. Baby Brain - one of Suspect's workmates who can play centre, wing, guitar, hamlet and dead. Allegedly.
16. S6 Fez - a great supporter of the Knights through his playing and sponsorship. Not bad for someone who hand't played at all before turning out for us two years ago.
17. Kipper - has been convinced by Deep Fat and No Neck, presumably at one of Herman's long Safestore marketing lunches to have a run out for the first time this year. Hope they told him that he's going to play in all the games and not be allowed a rest.
18. Junior - back for another crack at the event, we're hoping he'll score a few tries from out in the backs and, for a change, use the right colour tape (black) to cover the hole in his earlobe.
19. Syrup - another Taff scrum half making his Knights debut this year whose nickname comes from having a barnet that looks like a wig, even though it isn't.
20. Large - will he or won't he? That is the question.
21. Scouse - Move over, Austin Healey, there is a new Liverpool Lip. Apparently played age group rugby with Iain Balshaw back in the last century, we're hoping this gobby wing/centre can play as well has he talks.
22. N.Monkey - beats the hell out of me where this nickname comes from, but Suspect says that he is a hooker of some repute. Ooh-er.
23. The Druid - international man of mystery who registers every year, buys a shirt, kindly sponsors the team and then is always absent due to work-related issues. Take a day off, mun.
31. Oaxaca - Pronounced "Wor Thacker" we hope that he isn't going to be confused by his LI-supporting other half and run out for the Flatulent Fairies and that he isn't playing bloody cricket again.
41. Carlos - back after missing last season, this most stylish runner will be out to bag some tries, not to mention some women. Grrr!
43. Coughie - I'm running a book on how soon he'll pull up with his now ledgendary duff knee. I'm giong for 2 mintues 25 seconds.
50. Tish - the new boy's confused, I tells ya! Not only is he the Knights token Sweaty, but he also, like Herman ze German, plays american football. I might borrow his pads and helmet if I decide to have a trundle out onto the pitch.
53. Slowcoach - former Sarries wing Steve is showing his age. Same as he does every year by advertising it on the back of his shirt He should've taken the no14 when I offered it to him.
For more information on the tournament and the charities it supports, log on to http://www.fatboysevens.org.uk/
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StumbleuponFB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: TheSaracens.com (IP Logged)
Date: 18/06/2009 10:10
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Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 19/06/2009 00:11
Now with added No Neck big hit and Bungle try.
Please do check out the rest of Deep Fat's videos of last year's tournament.
And don't forget to get to Druid's for the First test and shirt presentations on Saturday.
Please do check out the rest of Deep Fat's videos of last year's tournament.
And don't forget to get to Druid's for the First test and shirt presentations on Saturday.
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 19/06/2009 00:35
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: GaryB (IP Logged)
Date: 19/06/2009 07:17
Remind me who provided the final pass for Cable's match winning try in that match? !!
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Big H (IP Logged)
Date: 19/06/2009 08:10
A summer signing from the Smurfs FB7s team wasn't it?
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 22/06/2009 14:15
Yeah, the one with the long blonde hair and white stilletoes.
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 25/06/2009 12:49
Social information for the BIG FAT weekend.
A bit of rugby may get in the way but we all know the Fat Blokes is really about having a brilliant weekend with like-minded folk who enjoy an old-fashioned rugby clubhouse atmosphere, a bit of a drink and a knees-up.
FRIDAY 17 July – Black Tie (optional)
You could wear full evening wear – most of the ladies seem to go for it. Gents either have full tux, or just a top half with shorts or occasionally – just a black tie. This is a family-friendly event so we discourage nakedness and showing of dangly bits if possible. It is optional (black tie - not showing dangly bits) so there is no need to wear any particular style of clothing.
If you’re camping for the weekend – get on site while it’s still light if possible – it helps with finding the right camping area and prevents you walking into things. Once your tent is up and you’ve had a few beers, we can’t predict whether you’ll walk into things or not but ‘doing it’ in the dark certainly makes it harder (ooh er!).
Once settled into your area of the ‘Village’ – we will have the Paul Bowen Band playing in the clubhouse. Some of you may know Paul from trips to the Madejski on London Irish match days where he is a regular in the Craic in the Cowshed. We’re delighted to have Paul back with us again, especially with his full line up.
There will be some meals available from our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC, which last year cost about a fiver for a plate of wholesome nosh. This year it's likely to be lasagne (meat or, for non-carnivores, vegetable) with salad and garlic bread.
SATURDAY – 70’s Night (fancy dress optional)
A 70’s Disco!
There will be a prize (probably booze) for the best dressed male, female and team efforts.
The rugby interferes a lot with the social side during the day. Having ensured your team is registered (by 09:30), crack open your first beer and watch the rugby going on around you. If you’re not playing, however, you could crack open your first beer and watch the rugby going on around you
Our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC will be running their BBQ during the day with a selection of cremated foodstuff (actually quite good really) – be aware this is a BBQ for fat rugby players and any vegetarians attending the event are advised to bring a ‘knit your own yogurt’ kit or sandwiches for the day.
By the evening you’ll have made some new friends and will be asking people who were complete strangers earlier in the day to come and try a few moves to ‘I feel love’ by Donna Summer later in the evening.
Warning: Beer makes unattractive people look sexier than they really are.*
Although we won’t have our usual spicy wraps this year, we will have our new ‘Chinese’ menu operating just outside the clubhouse so a good quality Chinese food menu will be available.
* A warning to some – a ray of hope to others.
SUNDAY – Look Dreadful Day
If you didn’t take any notice of the warning given above, now is the time to feel good or bad about yourself.
Our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC, will be cooking up a full English Breakfast for the survivors. Although advertised for being ready at 9am– be aware that it is usually at least 10am before it is served. The people at Abbey have often partied with us the night before so feel as delicate as we do.
Minis – we’re still uncertain about whether we will be able to hold the minis tournament due to insurance issues. If it does take place – please come and support the wee little fellas. The coaches tend to like it if you support their teams as well.
FAIRY BARBARIANS v BRISTOL BUCCANEERS
This 15-a-side match is one of the highlights of the weekend.
The Buccaneers will arrive fresh and ready for a game against the Baba’s. The Fairy Barbarians are made out of any male players from the tournament. You wear your own shirt and kit and can expect to play at least a quarter of a match (although they rarely last the full 80 minutes).
There is a players’ lunch laid on and all players get a lunch ticket. We merely ask that each Barbarian and supporter puts some shrapnel into a bucket for a collection for P.R.O.P.S. – The charity which the Buccaneers play for.
The match will be refereed by Guinness Premiership referee Ashley Rowden, who does his best to assist the hangovered Babas to hold their own against the sober opposition. This game is great fun and not to be missed and (perversely) is a good way to run out some stiffness and aches collected the day before.
Following the apres-match lunch and final pints - you have Sunday afternoon to get home at leisure and prepare for a 'sicky' on Monday.
A bit of rugby may get in the way but we all know the Fat Blokes is really about having a brilliant weekend with like-minded folk who enjoy an old-fashioned rugby clubhouse atmosphere, a bit of a drink and a knees-up.
FRIDAY 17 July – Black Tie (optional)
You could wear full evening wear – most of the ladies seem to go for it. Gents either have full tux, or just a top half with shorts or occasionally – just a black tie. This is a family-friendly event so we discourage nakedness and showing of dangly bits if possible. It is optional (black tie - not showing dangly bits) so there is no need to wear any particular style of clothing.
If you’re camping for the weekend – get on site while it’s still light if possible – it helps with finding the right camping area and prevents you walking into things. Once your tent is up and you’ve had a few beers, we can’t predict whether you’ll walk into things or not but ‘doing it’ in the dark certainly makes it harder (ooh er!).
Once settled into your area of the ‘Village’ – we will have the Paul Bowen Band playing in the clubhouse. Some of you may know Paul from trips to the Madejski on London Irish match days where he is a regular in the Craic in the Cowshed. We’re delighted to have Paul back with us again, especially with his full line up.
There will be some meals available from our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC, which last year cost about a fiver for a plate of wholesome nosh. This year it's likely to be lasagne (meat or, for non-carnivores, vegetable) with salad and garlic bread.
SATURDAY – 70’s Night (fancy dress optional)
A 70’s Disco!
There will be a prize (probably booze) for the best dressed male, female and team efforts.
The rugby interferes a lot with the social side during the day. Having ensured your team is registered (by 09:30), crack open your first beer and watch the rugby going on around you. If you’re not playing, however, you could crack open your first beer and watch the rugby going on around you
Our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC will be running their BBQ during the day with a selection of cremated foodstuff (actually quite good really) – be aware this is a BBQ for fat rugby players and any vegetarians attending the event are advised to bring a ‘knit your own yogurt’ kit or sandwiches for the day.
By the evening you’ll have made some new friends and will be asking people who were complete strangers earlier in the day to come and try a few moves to ‘I feel love’ by Donna Summer later in the evening.
Warning: Beer makes unattractive people look sexier than they really are.*
Although we won’t have our usual spicy wraps this year, we will have our new ‘Chinese’ menu operating just outside the clubhouse so a good quality Chinese food menu will be available.
* A warning to some – a ray of hope to others.
SUNDAY – Look Dreadful Day
If you didn’t take any notice of the warning given above, now is the time to feel good or bad about yourself.
Our hosts, Reading Abbey RFC, will be cooking up a full English Breakfast for the survivors. Although advertised for being ready at 9am– be aware that it is usually at least 10am before it is served. The people at Abbey have often partied with us the night before so feel as delicate as we do.
Minis – we’re still uncertain about whether we will be able to hold the minis tournament due to insurance issues. If it does take place – please come and support the wee little fellas. The coaches tend to like it if you support their teams as well.
FAIRY BARBARIANS v BRISTOL BUCCANEERS
This 15-a-side match is one of the highlights of the weekend.
The Buccaneers will arrive fresh and ready for a game against the Baba’s. The Fairy Barbarians are made out of any male players from the tournament. You wear your own shirt and kit and can expect to play at least a quarter of a match (although they rarely last the full 80 minutes).
There is a players’ lunch laid on and all players get a lunch ticket. We merely ask that each Barbarian and supporter puts some shrapnel into a bucket for a collection for P.R.O.P.S. – The charity which the Buccaneers play for.
The match will be refereed by Guinness Premiership referee Ashley Rowden, who does his best to assist the hangovered Babas to hold their own against the sober opposition. This game is great fun and not to be missed and (perversely) is a good way to run out some stiffness and aches collected the day before.
Following the apres-match lunch and final pints - you have Sunday afternoon to get home at leisure and prepare for a 'sicky' on Monday.
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 12/07/2009 17:00
Squad update
Junior has knackered his shoulder and won't be turning out next Saturday, but Bungle has "got his priorities right" and will be there to take his place alongside his captain and brother in the back line.
I might try to "do an Eek" but I think he has the monopoly on lung-bursting 50m runs that, miraculously, end up in him beating the entire opposition and crossing under the sticks.
Although, unlike Eek, I would nail the conversion like I did against Quins in 2007
Junior has knackered his shoulder and won't be turning out next Saturday, but Bungle has "got his priorities right" and will be there to take his place alongside his captain and brother in the back line.
I might try to "do an Eek" but I think he has the monopoly on lung-bursting 50m runs that, miraculously, end up in him beating the entire opposition and crossing under the sticks.
Although, unlike Eek, I would nail the conversion like I did against Quins in 2007
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Eek_the_Weeble (IP Logged)
Date: 12/07/2009 18:15
I'll have you know I have photographic evidence of me converting one of my tries.
It shocked the hell out of me.
It shocked the hell out of me.
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: cheffy (IP Logged)
Date: 12/07/2009 18:29
I'm organising the thing.......It's my turn to provide the scorching run that will lead to me dropping the ball over the line!!
Less than a week...woohoo can't wait!!
Less than a week...woohoo can't wait!!
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Wayoutwest (IP Logged)
Date: 13/07/2009 11:00
Large,
I am coming up to support/ drink/fall over/drink again etc etc... on Saturday. What time do you think the Knights will play their first game?
I am coming up to support/ drink/fall over/drink again etc etc... on Saturday. What time do you think the Knights will play their first game?
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Kat (IP Logged)
Date: 13/07/2009 11:11
Friday, Jul 17.
High 20oC
Friday Jul 17 night
Low 11oC
Saturday Jul 18.
High 21
Sat Jul 18 night
Low 11oC
Sunday Jul 19.
High 19
First match K/o at 10am, not sure about the Knights first, but the matches are only 14mins.
Looking forward to it
High 20oC
Friday Jul 17 night
Low 11oC
Saturday Jul 18.
High 21
Sat Jul 18 night
Low 11oC
Sunday Jul 19.
High 19
First match K/o at 10am, not sure about the Knights first, but the matches are only 14mins.
Looking forward to it
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: large (IP Logged)
Date: 16/07/2009 19:02
Looks like we're all going to have lots of fun pirching our tents in the rain
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Kat (IP Logged)
Date: 16/07/2009 19:16
Cheer up Mr Large.
Pitching tents in the rain is what camping is all about, and it is supposed to be dry from six (ish).
Aren't you sleeping in a van anyway? (or there is always Slowcoach's caravan)
Anyway, because everyone on every other board is getting excited about Fat Blokes.....
....
Pitching tents in the rain is what camping is all about, and it is supposed to be dry from six (ish).
Aren't you sleeping in a van anyway? (or there is always Slowcoach's caravan)
Anyway, because everyone on every other board is getting excited about Fat Blokes.....
....
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Graeme D (IP Logged)
Date: 16/07/2009 21:27
The weather brings a new meaning to Pools
Have fund will wave as I pass reading on my way to Castle Combe Mid Saturday afternoon.
Graeme
Have fund will wave as I pass reading on my way to Castle Combe Mid Saturday afternoon.
Graeme
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Convex Hull (IP Logged)
Date: 16/07/2009 21:43
I would start practising the navy hymn, if I were you.
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Kat (IP Logged)
Date: 17/07/2009 09:06
On the plus side, the Thames Valley isn't flooded, so by FB's standard this only qualifies as a little damp.
And the severity of the weather isn't being measured in the death toll, so I have camped in worse too.
Ever the optimist - I'll still be taking the factor 30!
And the severity of the weather isn't being measured in the death toll, so I have camped in worse too.
Ever the optimist - I'll still be taking the factor 30!
Re: FB7 2009 Pools and Arabian Knights announced
Posted by: Bboonie (IP Logged)
Date: 17/07/2009 11:52
"Left hand down a little".........
Bboonie xxx
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:07:17:11:52:31 by Bboonie.
Bboonie xxx
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:07:17:11:52:31 by Bboonie.
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