The Saracens.co.uk Player of the Year

Despite saying Saracens are crap, English Rugby is tedious and the Northern Hemisphere is for mucking around, and the player with an air-miles to games played ratio that would have Ryan Jones green with envy, Chris Jack world class lock and ordinary blindside flanker finished in third place in the POTY awards. Just think what you could have done in these awards had you played with 70% effort eh Chris?!

In Second place came Wikus Van Heerden, “the beast of the breakdown”  One particular poller suggested that if “Wikus would have been playing against Northampton in the ECC we might have been in the HC rather than looking forward of another year of playing in the B competition.”  While another summed up the sentiments of most as “A very welcome SA addition”

The winner was described as “the most naturally gifted rugby player seen in a black shirt for a long time”, “a fantastic player with true rugby vision and ability”  and by another as “I don’t understand why the media isn’t raving about him” before realising of course it’s the anti Sarries bias!   For the second year in a row the Saracens fullback takes this award, last year saw Richard Haughton sprint away with it, this year by an equally large margin this years winner is Alex Goode.

Winner            Alex Goode

2^nd                    Wikus Van Heerden

3^rd                    Chris Jack

 The Saracens.co.uk young player of the year

 So what do you have to do to win this award? 

 Be the top try scorer in your debut season, running rings around the opposition including much lauded peers, get called up by the England Saxons then rung rings around seasoned internationals, and then get nominated for find of the season?  Sorry Noah, not quite enough.

 How about 6 GP assists in your debut season, landing you in the top 10 in the entire league despite being injured for a large chunk of the season, seamlessly combining and linking play and doing an extremely passable impression of one of the games true greats resulting in getting a call up for the Saxons? Sorry Andy must try harder next year.

 How about playing out of position making the most yards from fullback than any other Sarrie, almost having a telepathic understanding with your wing, being a brilliant defender, safe under the highball with a vision and understanding of the game that belies your years, as well as an assured kicking and distribution game. Getting called up for the Saxons and being voted The Saracens.co.uk player of they year?  Well done Alex.  First ever double in these end of season polls.  Proof you can’t keep a good man down unless of course you’re Matt Bannahan and you hit him with a late shoulder charge…

Winner                        Alex Goode

2^nd                              Andy Saull

3^rd                                Noah Cato

The Saracens.co.uk Old Player of the Year

 Some big big names obviously appeared in this award for the last time; Chesney, Visagie will both go down in Saracens folklore while Andy Farrell will hope that his move into coaching will see him join those two as Saracens greats

 The 42 year old Marshall took several votes and surprised many by looking well up for the fight shunning his ‘mercenary tag’ in a period where Saracens had no senior scrum halves.  Neil De Kock also took a couple of votes as new entry into the elder statesman category.

 Winner by a country mile however was Glen Jackson, “despite getting on a bit now he still pulls the strings for everything good we do and top points scorer in the GP again.” “How will we ever replace him?” “his Portugal rest seemed to rejuvenate him. Maybe we should buy him a house out there?” but it’s the final comment which sums it up perfectly “just class”

Winner                         Glen Jackson

2^nd                               Cobus Visagie & Kris Chesney

3^rd                                Neil de Kock  

Guinness Premiership Player of the Year.

Some of the more interesting Votes were cast for Delon Armitage whom the pollster admitted they couldn’t stand but begrudgingly said he had been brilliant and his parents were lovely!  There was also a vote for Josh Lewsey for “smacking Cipriani!”…damn that mans going to be missed.

 The award was a shared this year, and you sentimental old buggers gave the award to the 87 year old Mike Catt and the retiring to climb a big mountain because that’s something posh army boys do Josh Lewsey. Despite the fact that both players were utter tripe for the first 5 months of the season!

 Winners                       Josh Lewsey & Mike Catt

2^nd                                Tom Croft

3^nd                                Tom May

International Player of the Year

 No surprises that the Irish boys took the majority of votes this year.  In a year that they did the Grand Slam and the Tri-nations was second choice to the Andrew Marr show for weekend morning viewing.

 Of our Southern Hemisphere friends Richie McCaw and Matt Giteau took a couple of  votes, I imagine there might have been more votes for them but while people were looking for who player ‘X’ was, he had already tapped the ball and run off at 90miles an hour like a demented Jack Russell.

 The Taffs were also well represented despite being a bit rubbish this year with Martin Williams, Lee Half penny and Lee Byrne all taking your precious votes

 And so for the top boys names is that they can all get called by three letter abbreviations thus saving time in typing this whole shambles of a poll up, so there were several votes for ROG and POC but the  runaway leader of this was BOD, who build up such a lead early on he was never going to be caught which is kind of ironic when you think he’s now routinely reeled in by props when he makes a break.

 Winner                        Brian O’Driscoll

2^nd                                Paul O’Connell

3^rd                                Ronan O’Gara*

 (*Eds note: Come on, own up...who is responsible for this one?)

Favourite Saracen

“Dry your eyes mate” as Mike Skinner once sang as of the 11 different Saracens named in this category 5 of them will be leaving/expected to leave the club soon.  Seymour, Visagie and Lloyd all fell into this category as well as two others that were involved in the ding dong at the top.

 The votes were split between a mixture of backs and forwards although nobody seems to love 2^nd Rows with their battered ears and freakishly tall ways… Although I bet they’re useful to have round the house of reaching things on the top shelves and carrying stuff around. Like a slightly sport Lurch from the Adams family

 Reasons given included “he was nice to my son when he was a mascot” “lovely bloke” and “I love the way how he plays with a grin on his face all the time.”  There is also one that probably doesn’t even need a reason, now can anyone guess who voted for Seymour?!

 The two clear favourites amongst the Fezboys both like to play on the wing despite having to do things like scrummage and ruck.  Next year we’re going to have to find new heroes or just move over the channel

 Winner                         Census Johnston

2^nd                                Kris Chesney

3^rd                                Cobus Visage

When Newcastle turned up in the league way back in September, they looked a shambles of a side.  They were torn to shreds in all aspects of the game. 
The little boy who plugged a Dyke in the famous Dutch story was a lightweight, a sham an impostor, a nothing, a zero. Had he been wearing a superman cape and holding back the Hoover dam he might be getting somewhere close to Johnny Wilkinson’s performance against Saracens where he almost singled handed held back the black tide as Newcastle fell apart in all aspects of the game. He hit rucks, made try saving tackles, it wouldn’t have been any surprise to see him packing down in the front row. Still at least we won’t have to play him next year…what’s that you say?… Toulon…in the ECC… @#$%&.


Winner Johnny Wilkinson
2nd Ben Foden
3rd Joe Simpson

Worst Performance by An Opposition Player

 Adrian Jarvis got a vote for missing everything in front of him while playing for Bristol which pretty much guaranteed a rare away win for Saracens  whiel collectively the Newcastle side were picked apart in the League by you lot.

 Nick Abadadababdoan is Stuart Barnes pet full back the boy can do no wrong, it’s probably a little embarrassing then for Stuart to sit down and watch the Saracens Vs Bath game, not only did his beloved Bath side lose but Ababababdodadabon was a liability from start to finish.  After being run over in the first 5 minutes by Ratty and receiving lengthy treatment for his tackling style that appears to be based around hoping people will trip over his face as they run over the top of him.   The next 75 minutes he proceeded to drop the ball at every conceivable opportunity, as well as fudging several overlaps outside of him.  But it was the way the smallest backrow forward at Saracens was made to look like a hulking 20 stone juggernaught as David Seymour ran right over the top of him during the early build up to Barrells match winning try… and the man that couldn’t stop Don scoring in the corner?  Yep you’ve guessed it.

Winner                                    Nick Abadabababababadabon   (Home Vs Bath)

2^nd                                Adrian Jarvis (Away Vs Bristol)

3^rd                                Entire Newcastle team  (home in the league)

Least Favourite Opposition Player

 The competitive aspect of the matches against Bath has clearly left a mark as the boys from the west supply Bannahan, Abbbbadabadabon, and Justin Harrison into this years popularity list…  Bannahan was picked out as seemingly incapable of tackling, “maybe his brain is too far away from his arms to tell them to wrap round the player”  while the recently retired Australian  who appeared to be trying to take Steve Bothwicks eyes as a retirement gift from the game was described as the “most vile player ever to disgrace the game”…. I imagine a few Bath supporters would probably agree with you, three cheers for little Will Skinner

 Oliver Azam and Ryan Lamb also received votes Lamb for being a “horrible little shit, and his salute to the Lower Rous in the home game”    While Dylan Hartley and Andy Sheridan both got votes for being massively over rated and in Hartley’s case just “a thug that can’t throw the ball straight”

 However the clear leader swan diving away from the competition was Nick Aberdabadababdabdbabdbabdbblahblahblah “Everything that’s wrong with the modern game, diving, play acting, gobby, preening fool”

 Winner                                    Nick Abbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbabdbabdbbababn

2^nd                                Ryan Lamb, Justin Harrison, Dylan Hartley

3^rd                                Matt Bannahan, Oliver Azam, Andy Sheridan

Player you’d most like to see Join Sarries

Maybe Edward G is right our squad is strong, as none of you can agree on which player you’d most like to see in a Saracens shirt next season. Of those of you voting in this category every body named a different player.  A mixture of all positions from props to lock to fullbacks the only position not mentioned was Hooker. .. which is no surprise as we have 13 of them in the squad.

Oriol Ripol was mentioned more to do with being “Fit” which I don’t think is talking about his results in the bleep test… while God knows what you see in some of the others! Here are all the players nominated

Dan Carter, Sergio Paraise, Matt Tait, Mils Mulihena, Magnus Lund, Bob Casey, Nick Kennedy, Victor Maitfield, Bakkes Botha, Joe Rockocoko, Peter Grant, Tom Croft, Johnny Wilkinson, Mergo Bergamasco, Gethin Jenkins, James Hook, Jamie Heaslip, Ugo Monye, Juan Hernandez, Joe Simpson. Oriol Ripol, Phil Dowson, Matt Giteau

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