England were put under the cosh from the first minute today. One of England’s 'undroppables' Josh Lewsey making a complete horlicks of the simplest of catches leading to Florian Fritz going in under the posts in what is likely to be the simplest try he might ever score.

This indecent was an sharp indictment of England’s complete lack of composure, tactical nous, physicality, any personal responsibility, motivation and on top of that, basic ball skills. Too many of England’s players seemed to be going through the motions, too many seem too confident in their positions. They lack spark, they need imagination, they need a kick in the arse. The days of Woodward were full of systems, formulas, pie charts about blindsides and whatnot. Today England seem under-prepared, lacking focus and completely out of their depth.

Whilst France weren't much better, they did know exactly where to hit England, to show them up and put them under pressure. The England team that won the world cup was one of the most streetwise teams ever to take the international field. Corry’s team in comparison looked like school boys on their first day at senior school, clueless, not knowing where to go, huddled
together in corners, their faces showing a look of fear, distrust and angst.

France were able to expose England’s lack of expressionism through their strong and organized blitz defence. They offered to open up England out wide often and expose the frailty of England’s Stone age drift defence, designed to hide weak defenders and slow down play rather than force the opposition
into mistakes. England have not looked to offload in the tackle at all throughout the 6 Nations, now we can see why, they skill level is so low that can’t trust each other to keep the ball. One wonders if Dawson was brought back into the team to simply scream "AWWW!!! COME ON!!!!" at every breakdown. One wonders if Steve Thompson, known as Wally to Saints fans, Banjo to everyone else and Thommo to the press, was looking for a new nick name, might I suggest 'Pringles' cos once he pops he cant stop. As for Joe Worsley, well, if it weren’t for him being in a foreign country he may well of
tottered off down the tunnel to browse round the rugby superstore, followed by a quick nip into town for a orange mocha frappacino. Instead he wondered about in a daze, occasionally made a tackle, avoided eye contact with teammates and quietly considered whether his hair would look good with highlights....

Anyway, to the game, Kick off, try, kick off, penalty from a pop up at the scrum (Guess who?), kick off, penalty, Worsley not releasing the ball as Peter DeVilliers attempted to jackal the ball of him, whilst Hodgson and Moody desperately try to free the ball.
Ok, 20 minutes gone, 13 nil down and to be brutally honest the game is already gone and lost. Yashvilli was running the show, showing up intermittently at fly half to put England back in their own 22, where they spent almost all of first half. Steve Borthwick pulled down a maul and fortunately for England he pulled the residing penalty wide of the posts. France looked to push on forward with Yannick Nyanga bullying Charlie Hodgson (throughout the first half I might add) and pressing the French further into English territory and setting up little Freddie Michalak to put
a droppy wide of the post too. Suddenly whilst beginning to realize that England are seriously on the back foot, you could begin to realize that it could be so much worse....

Martin Corry fought valiantly to pull England back into the game with a series of trademark rampaging runs, but often times these were from inside the England 22 and lead to Charlie Hodgson’s inept kicking out of hand display plopping the ball directly into touch and giving away the not only hard earned possession but also position. Further to this Hodgson put England's one and only opportunity to get on the score board dab smack on the post, where it duly pinged straight back out and into the waiting hands
of Raphael Ibanez. On another day, or even against another team, England may well of been made to pay in a more unpleasant way....


Eventually England did get on the scoreboard through Hodgson who knocked over a penalty from the French 22, thanks to Olivier Magne's deliberate knock on. Half Time arrived with England in touch, barely, but as likely to turn the game around as Mr Robinson is likely to be offered a contract extension. 16 points to France, it may as well of been 50, and a thoroughly deserved 3 for England.
France spent just shy of 25 minutes in the England half, whilst in
possession for only 10. England had possession for 11 minutes and spent 13 minutes in Frances half of the field. It tells the tale of the game, France were functioning and playing the game where they wanted to, England were struggling and France needed only to bide their time to move in for the kill.

So where do England go from here?

Well, nowhere fast to be brutally honest.

As the second half begins a raft of subs start to appear, firstly Andy Goode, who promptly struck over a penalty thanks to another Magne infringement. More of Goode's pals came on, had little or no effect on the game and struggled to adapt to France's rather brutal and punishing defence as England ball carriers one by one coughed up the ball, leading to a fragmented and rather painfully slow and dull game as England tried and failed to get back into the game. it was doable, yes, was it likely? About as likely as George W Bush admitting that there were no WMD's…

England went from pillar to post, never hit the gain line flat, never came on to the ball at pace consistently throughout a set of drives, never looked to offload out of the tackle, never looked to hit rucks in numbers an never looked to take any penalties quickly to get in behind the French Blitz Defence. They looked soulless, bereft of ambition more today than any other time throughout these pitiful 6 Nations. I wouldn’t mind if you could see where we are going, if Robbo was bringing through youngsters but nope, he's
sticking with his "UNDROPPABLE WORLD CUP WINNERS"

Terrific.

England desperately tried to get back into the game, but simply didn’t have the tools to muster the firm stronghold on the game, they eventually were dead and buried when the talented Daimen Traille exploded through the line, around Josh Lewsey and accelerating past the back tracking Andy Goode (who wouldn’t of caught him in a time machine) and chipped through into the 22 towards the try line. Harry Ellis looked to have the ball covered and
somehow was able to make a bigger horlicks of it than Lewsey had
previously. (how proud of his mate he must of been!!!) The ball coughed up in front of Traille who must of thought his birthday had come early. He promptly put the ball over the line and offered everyone a piece of birthday cake.

Finally as the closing moments came upon England Goode pushed the ball wide from inside their own 22 and there he found Dominici who also received a birthday present, he put the ball down under the posts and rejoiced in the destruction of England with his team mates.

Eventually Allain Roland blew his whistle and put me out of my misery. Thank god. It’s enough to make you want to declare yourself to be a Belgian. Harsh words yes, but heart felt. It’s difficult to put my own personal frustrations into words, none of them were good enough, not one of them was even in the realm of good enough, not even in the same ball park of good enough, just, well, pants. Some of these players have had second chance after second chance after second chance. Yet, good ol' Robbo stands by his
man more steadfastly than Tammy Wynette could ever of imagined. Why? he's terribly loyal. Just like Sir Naive before him.

I'm realistic, not pessimistic though. We were never in a month of Sundays going to retain the world cup. Woodward said once,
"It takes six years to win a World Cup"

Well there you go, you do the maths. We may as well accept it now, and use this forthcoming world cup as a stepping stone to future success. Would it not be better for the nations long term success to bring in hungry youngsters who are ready to step up to the plate?

The England team that won the world cup featured many players of different ages and yet, many if not all had played 30 games of international rugby, knew the systems, knew the team mates and knew what it took to win at international level. England have been devoid of ambition for far too long and do genuinely have players that can create and inspire, most of them are under the age of 25, most them have had little or no chance to perform in the White jersey.

I could go on and on about the ineptitudes of the system England seem hell bent on playing, and could wax lyrical all night about conservative rugby and the players lack of desire to step out of the comfort zone. But its not really my job, the players and staff have to take a long hard look in the mirror and realize that they all need to change, I’m just here to report the facts and the fact of the matter is, England are in a lot of trouble...

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