England Rugby - May 2006

by Ed Budge

This time last month, with the presence of a rather large Shakespeare essay, I was unable to deliver my usual dose of Robinson-bashing, and for that I apologise. To make up for it, this month's article will come in two parts, looking back from, and ahead of, today's dreaded RFU Performance Review. So, without further ado…

Part I - Looking Back.

How bad is it?   The coach and captain are under fire and the excuses are dribbling out of Twickenham after another abysmal 4th placed finish in this year's VI Nations Championship. In all honesty, it's exactly the same as last year, the only difference being that with the World Cup a year closer, England are a mile further from it. Ask the players and they'll say it's disappointing; ask Martyn Thomas and he'll tell you it's unacceptable; ask Sir Clive Woodward and he'll probably laugh in your face. Ask Andy Robinson, though, and he's likely to assure you that everything's fine.

But does he believe it? The lion's share of your average England fan's disillusionment and despair stems from this question. On the one hand, every supporter would like to know what's going on with their team and not have it and its inner workings shrouded in the mist of ambiguous press-conferences. On the other hand, nobody wants the coach to turn to his public in the wake of yet another pitiful display only to proclaim "Sorry guys, this is all we've got."

The evidence for the prosecution - that Robinson believes all is well in camp - is mostly to be found on the pitch, where not a scrap has changed since November. Essentially the same team, with exactly the same tactics, and predominantly the same results. It is now 9 games that England have lost by under a score in 3 years, 6 games without a try for Ben Cohen, and God only knows how long since England had a natural openside wearing number 7. Lydon and Larder remain (at least for another 24 hours), despite calls for their removal as long as 8 months ago in some columns (ahem).

Evidence for the defence comes off the field. Robinson is clearly not a man who is comfortable behind a microphone, and maybe he knows full well that he is at the helm of a giant calamity, but cannot convey his message to the rest of us as he struggles with a world of media scrutiny that he just doesn't understand. So determined is Robinson to keep his tracksuit a country mile away from a press corp. notepad, that we never hear a word of what is going on. All we get is talk about the faith Robinson has in the people working on "this project"; how the team is "moving forward" towards "what we're trying to achieve." Even Thomas speaks of an "under performing product".

The word "rugby" is conspicuous only by its continued absence from Robinson's media outpourings, ditto anything related to rugby. Why can we not be told what is going on and why we're under performing? There can only be two possible explanations for it: either the coach is lacking the eloquence, intellect or nerve (or some combination of the three) to tell us what the problem is, or he just doesn't know. We'd better hope it's the former.

Although his sentence has already been passed, and had been long before the Performance Review, the jury is still out on Robinson. As usual, though, he and his superiors would have us believe that the present predicament is anybody's fault but his, choosing to lay the blame at the door of the clubs once again. Robinson has apparently presented in excess of 60 pages of VI Nations post-mortem to his bosses at the RFU, and he'd need an incredibly large font to make an excuse about limited training time last even half that much.

If the RFU think that is England's only problem (which, I can categorically say, it is NOT) then we'll soon find out. The concessions made by the PRL in the Weston Plan earlier this week will give Robinson all the training time he needs during the VI Nations. If any other changes are announced, then Mr. Robinson has been telling us fibs all season; if that is the sole alternation, however, then I'll be worried.

Once again, we'd better hope it's the former, and if it is then it vindicates every ounce of media speculation that has ensued. England's press and public have hardly been left guessing; it's been open season on the unfathomable/clueless Robinson, who has kept his cards very close to his chest/dropped half of them on the floor. Any rumour you like will have a shred of truth to it: Larder and Lydon to go; Ashton (of whom more later), Wells, Mallinder; Halliday, whoever you like to come in. There was a lot wrong, and a lot of things to change. That we were all kept guessing is another indication that Robinson just didn't know what the problem was. And then, of course, there is Woodward.

Not even a scrap of truth came near this rumour, but the Knight of the Realm drew the media to him with such magnetism it was as if the sword was still on his shoulder. Yes, it would be nice to take some of the post-match heat away from Robinson. And yes, it would be nice to have someone with a reputation large enough to scare the RFU and the PRL into a definitive agreement. But Woodward didn't catch the balls, kick the goals or score the tries - even the influence of his specialist catching coach can hardly have been more than superficial with top-class athletes. It is the remnants of the Woodward regime that have held England back for the past two seasons.

Today, we will find out a lot about the RFU and quite a bit about Andy Robinson's backroom staff. What we will not discover, as the axe falls all around him, is much about our beleaguered commander-in-chief. We must wait until the summer tour for that, to see whether this inevitable changing of the guard brings about an alteration in the main issues of the hour: team selection and tactics. But that can wait for tomorrow's article.

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