Paves is off the coach first like an excited schoolboy

 Rhodders and Rob keep in radio contact

 Confusion reigns with the luggage in Paves' absence. Dan rubs the driver up  the wrong way by phoning Crimestoppers about a minor traffic offence en route

 Tim's juggling of one bottle fails miserably causing Chris to bump his head on the shed. Spade coolly ignores events while Jim affords a snigger

 Paves returns from his walkabout of the local surrounds while Darren pays due  respect to his 'Elder' in reverence

 The Press Gang arrive and Blazie takes some stick for his girlie drinking  adventures in Leicester recently.

 BP introduces his latest parrot, but a commotion at gate 6 distracts attention..

 ...as Pirateoria, fresh from a trip to the Emerald Isle, makes her entrance; intent  on striking up conversation with all and sundry

 LJ manfully steps forward to protect the honour of his friend LP, whose second  chin has been shamefully exposed to the press. McPirate (Scots Pirate) just  laughs like a drain

 Fresh off the bus, Curnow and An Gwynn Du (sp?) study Murrish's Menu for the  return journey

 Spade braces himself for impact as Woll plunges from the balcony, the victim of  a stray snipers bullet; source unknown. A point of interest: is that a tattoo  under  the nose?

 Despite protestation that her shirt lettering was now 'sparkly', this was in fact a  severe case of dandruff

 Arfur & Pirateoria desparately try and save Yog from temptation, but his resolve  cracks and the diet goes for a burton....for today at least. Security cordon off  the  area in the interest of public safety

 St P and Scurvy Rascal aren't on speaking terms as the subject of roundball is  brought to the table

 Cow Pie is that good that mere bread is not enough to mop up the gravy.  Nothing short of the matchday programme will do

 SS First is securely moored, complete with Boot Mascot

 Dick "Eddie Waring" Straughan prepares for radio stardom by trying to figure  out if his phone is on or off

 Lilo lies low

 Murmerings in the ranks as rumours circulate about Pirateoria's intended  ambush of the Saints team bus in Bristol later

 Tim leads the troops out and mistakes the Donny mascot for their team captain  for the day

 Tim dares Jones to feed the ball to his side or else

 Gareth wishes he hadn't volunteered to be a forwards trampoline

 Ed goes over to add 5 to the scoresheet believing himself innocent of being  responsible for breaking the corner flag

 His relief is shortlived as Gareth promptly launches his upper arm goalwards

 Donny's skipper ponders what to put down on the insurance claim form

 Davies breaks through Lilo's tackle only to find Koko awaits the chance of  'getting to know you' instead

 Jimmy snares the prey as his Pride moves in for a feast

 Iva looks concerned as to whether Woll's replica shirt will fit

 To buy some time, Iva does a passable impression of Tonto and informs  everyone of the imminent arrival of a stampeding herd of bison

 Recognising the danger that Doncaster's second row, Tomes, is in fact the anti  hero from the X Files; Joe bravely saves everyone from the miscreants taste for  raw liver

 Ed's upper arm has been stitched back on, but concerns are raised about  Gareth's disappearance. Tau looks on hoping his guilt doesn't show through

 Koko returns to his corner. 'Second' Paves, offers advice to improve his South  Paw technique

 Messrs Sharp & Dalby limber up for that evenings Morris Dancing competition at  the nearby Benbow inn

 Tim oversees another team building exercise entitled 'Build a Bridge'

 Mr Williams just prior to rolling around all footballer-like to attract attention to  his injury

 Game set and....

 ...match

 The 'Scores on the Doors' tell their story

 Tau checks with countryman Lilo whether he has any spare sweets

 Tim organises a whip round for the electricity meter as the light fades rapidly

 While Joe deals with crabs below, Bruce and Jimmy try to avoid eye contact with  Dick and the inevitable microphone being shoved up their noses

 With a goalpost wedged in his head, Matt wonders how not to put a damper on  the general good vibes

 Villi Da Gangsta and the suave Alberto impart news that they will be ringing Rudi about late season ticket deals to watch the Pirates

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