
The scene is set as a local spook scans the crowd huddling between as many big guys as they can to shelter from the elements

The Luxes spot the danger and alert their associates

Without blowing their cover, the Stalwarts prepare to unleash the deadliest weapon of terror known to man... The Cornish Lurgy...which Captain Benbow has bravely infiltrated into ODP with great personal sacrifice

Admiral Marshy provides the perfect decoy with daughter at first slip just in case gravity intervenes. A London Welsh fan looks on in awe, amazed at the publicans bladder capacity

The earth really does move as the 2008 Pirelli Calender Boys daintly trot out for their Saturday afternoon photo opportunity

Due respect is observed as Bruce ties up Paves laces for him

The replacements take up their place in the bus shelter and await the arrival of the No 65 to Richmond. Koko spots something suspicious in the sky

A brisk start sees the Line threatened from the outset

Steve duly obliges to complete a near perfect start

Caught up in the moment, Joe prepares to ambush Ed as he is about to unleash the ball back out to the backs...again

All to no avail as Winnan adds to Welsh's misery. Calling out "Ding Dong" in celebration was a little OTT as the blonde bird behind the flag would testify

Gareth's attempt to convert the traffic cone goes a little pear-shaped. Would have been wiser to stick to a ball methinks (Photo credit - Scots Pirate)

Still smarting from his basic ball-cone mis-identification, Steeno decides to forego the arriving No 65 from Richmond as an onlooker at the front of a large queue requests a stop

Vunga shows concern after Steve appears to have fallen into something left lying around by the local canines. Adryan wisely keeps his distance

Ed is later the victim of some spiteful words from Strong who wants his ball back. Rhodders steps in to offer a shoulder to cry on while Joe waits for the nod to 'deal' with the bully

Joe's 'influence' obviously did the trick as Ed lets his other big mates have a play

Bruce and Crackers troop off as Adryan keeps a watchful eye out at the rear for any groupies

One observer realises that Koko may indeed have spotted something sinister in the sky

DMU Pirate turns and looks skywards too. The sight is astounding and causes Zelah Girl to completely miss the mouth with the beer glass

After a textbook descent with the minimum of embarrassment, Kilt Man lands having answered the age old question as to what is worn beneath the kilt. Blazies blushing cheeks reveal the truth

"So then girls, how about a centre spread for next weeks programme?"

St Piran restores calm and simaltaneously proves he has a front perspective. The Scurvies look on knowingly that this is in fact a cardboard cut out

The Ladocks compile more stats for the record

Our 'inside man' Cooky, blends in with the locals in undercover mode

Delagates from a nearby Vulcan Convention take time out to cheer on the Pirates

THE Big Sam (not that imposter on Tyneside) rues an early second half injury that may well scupper hopes of a guest appearance on the Graham Norton Show

Wamu knows it was a silly thing to do and has to accept that there will be no story at bed time!

Whats more, everyone else gets to play outside until late

Thinks: "Anyone watching?"

As things even out sporadic tag mud wrestling breaks out

Tim's weakness for tickleish-ness is discovered late on

The deed is done

Mr Lyons can now set about seeking out and dishing out some choice words to the Broadband nightmare that afflicts certain parts of the Duchy. Someone show this chap these pics please.

Kempy signs Pirateoria's calender oblivious to her real motives...

Crackers looks on as the truth is unveiled by Horse. Piratoria's plans revolve around opening a Spearmint Rhino type club for girls-the plastic bag on her arm reveals the name of the project...The Boy Shop!!!

Vunga meanwhile doesn't get off lightly as the Spockies collar him as a guest speaker for the convention
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