Alan takes heed from a local about reports of ticket touts in the area

 "Do yer want any tickets mate?" Tim hesitates........

 With the DJ putting the finishing touches to his turntables, his assistant stumbles in with heavy shopping bags after a stint at the Vic' Centre

 "DC. The guy says he wants two grandstand seats. What shall we say...50 notes each?"

 In the Meadow Bar; Pirate Bert denies all knowledge of the whereabouts of Yog's beard

 Word from the catwalks of Milan, Paris and Zelah suggest that skirts will be long, tight & flag like this season

 The Rampaging Knees of Bedford now safely apprehended, prepare for extradition to Serbia

 Ferg checks the fixture list and grapples with the fact that Serbia isn't on the list

 Paves' minders keep a watching brief in case the mascot fancies a pop

 The game begins without incident until Ed slips his guards

 His escape ends prematurely as he stumbles over a pre laid trap

 The offending hi tech security device

 Mark calls in aerial back up as members of the crowd discuss the break out attempt

 Chris looks on in horror as his pass to Gareth spirals into the latters... errr ... upper thigh region

 The heats for the Olympic mens 400m hurdles begin in chaos when a ball gets thrown into the mix

 Gareth takes command as his 'jewels' re-surface in front of the main stand

 Several onlookers are overcome with nausea as Steeno returns them to their proper location which prompts Rainsey to rush on with drinkies

 Sam's iron constitution holds firm though as thoughts of a post match salad enable him to remain seated on his improvised beanbag

 
 Tim's breakaway catches everyone by surprise. Thompson however has to make a snap decision; simulate being run over by a steamroller, or retrieving that nice spare ball on the sideline and hope no-one notices his loss of bottle

 Loney's grasp of the piggy back racing basics leaves a lot to be desired

 Jackson and Savage are sent over to 'convince' Ady that Mr Loney's style was indeed correct and he, 'Winnan', needs a lesson in manners for his cheek

 Ady's right hand man, Cracknell; restores order in the manor causing Jackson to test his gymnastic ability

 Back at the office Rob shows off his recently sprouted old mans  'tache. Tim looks over to Woll wondering if his colleague realises that Mo-vember has ended

 Gareth awaits impact once more as Woll casually tosses him the ball from the sidelines.

 Alan starts to get excited as he awaits the formalities to finish so he can get onto the beach and build a sandcastle

 Janner puts on a brave face as Blazey and Crackers are called up to do the post match interviews with Mark Stevens of BBC Radio Gardening

 Chris looks nervous as his horticultural knowledge barely extends beyond mowing the lawn

 Mark however seamlessly drifts between the merits of a good home-made compost and pruning plum trees in Spring

 "So, Chris, a quick run down of your favourite mowing patterns? before I hand over to a traffic report at 17:25"

 "Mmmmmmnnn SALAD!" thinks Sam as he wonders whether 5 a day means going up for 4 more helpings

 Vunga looks over in anguish as Marshy informs him it's his round. Mrs Woll sniggers as Leicester realises the implications of this statement

 "So Mr Doyle" says Mark with an undercurrent of menace, "You may well smile at Lilo's predicament...but you are next. Nice knowing you"

 These boots are made for walking....

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