Football Matches Betting - It’s Still on the Cards
As Roman Abramovich cries into his 124 carat gold mug after being displaced as football's richest owner due to his fortune dwindling to a paltry £7 billion, Woking chairman David Taylor is dealing with a financial problem of his own in the Blue Square Some Other Bookie Sponsored Premier League, otherwise known as the conference. The January transfer window has stirred up tensions between Woking and Crawley Town. "If Crawley think that Matt Pattison is worth £5,000 then we need look at their assessment of players' values. I wouldn't even consider it an offer quite frankly, it's an insult," the Cards chief said to the tune of Abba's classic Money, Money, Money. Put your cash on the Tay-ble and back Woking to beat Northwich! Thurs 7.45pm Setanta

US Racing - Live on ATR - We’re not Kidding!
Revenge is a dish best served cold - or in the absence of a 1st grade education while in the presence of a rifle, quickly and as painful as possible. The Associated Press reports that an "angry" 4-year-old Ohio boy grabbed a gun from a closet and shot his babysitter in retaliation for the clumsy bloke stepping on his toes. It's ok to laugh, the sitter, Nathan Beavers, escaped the attack with minor wounds to his arm and side after the shotgun attack. The boy is in the custody of his parents "until we see what the prosecutor wants to do", an officer said, who didn't add for his own amusement, "He's lucky we're not in Texas." Having a bet on tonight's US Racing on ATR could see your balance shooting up!

BDO World Championships - Seeing Double!
With everyone from second rate betting journalists to Joan Rivers slating the BDO Championship, players and organisers alike at the Lakeside have hit back against the PDC love machine. "The PDC crowd are awful and Alexandra Palace is a terrible venue," former World Champion Martin 'Wolfie' Adams barked. While John Boy Walton added, "The PDC is 'sports entertainment', while the BDO has a more educated crowd who love good darts." Unfortunately, they always leave disappointed. Drunk, but disappointed. "At the PDC, everyone's waving those boards about and just trying to get on TV," adds BDO spokesman Robert Holmes. "It's just one big booze-up and the darts is secondary." Err... sounds the same to us. Darryl Fitton has been in good form, but will he continue to dazzle at the Lakeside?

England Cricket: Why nobody answered KP's cry for help

When England appointed a man who was unpopular in the dressing room and had no captaincy credentials, Andrew Hughes was one of the few dissenting voices. The right appointment must now be made - let's hope the ECB are reading.

I hate to say I told you so but....

Premier League Betting: Title race turning point?

They may lie in lowly third place at the moment but Manchester United are favourites to win the Premier League and victory on Sunday would see their price harden while Chelsea would continue to drift, says Andrew Atherley.

The Premier League starts 2009 with a bang on Sunday when title favourites Manchester United host Chelsea, and one of the questions for punters is how much importance to attach to the result.

Joburg Open Betting - Ear We Go Again!
Given that Tiger's knee has been getting the type of attention only reserved for a pint of Guinness or Channel 912 for 2 minutes at 1am, we've decided to focus on other problems/injuries golfers may endure. Ok, that should be, given that the Joburg Open has only a couple of players we know, but Sky Sports are covering it so it'd be worth having a bet, we've decided to talk nonsense for about 124 words. According to a report in the British Medical Journal, golfers face going deaf from the "sonic boom" created when their clubs strike the ball. It's not all bad news - at least they won't have to listen to Colin Montgomerie moaning anymore. We hear at PP think Retief Goosen is a good bet to win on home turf! Thurs 4.30am SS1