Dear Mr O'Neill, on behald of an entire nation, I wish to prostrate myself before your towering intellect and huge quantities of tact and diplomacy to publicly thank you for your comments on us Poms in the week leading up to our meeting in the Rugby World Cup quarter-finals. In the first section of your theory on England and its sporting teams, you said that everybody hates us.
And now, in a follow-up second stage, you have added that you were only "stating the bleeding obvious."
Well said Mr O. It's about time the likes of me and millions of my countrymen and women were put in our place by a man like yourself who clearly thinks deeply before he speaks.
As a regular supporter of England's rugby, football, cricket and formation dominoes teams, I can only echo your well-constructed and perfectly reasonable arguments.
In saying: "Whether it's cricket, rugby league or rugby union, we do all hate England," you are merely putting forward a theory that's just as ecceptable and reaonable as the one claiming that all Australian teams should win everything they enter.
I have one question, though: you were chief exec of the ARU when your country hosted the World Cup four years ago. Why didn't you publicise your theory then?
Perhaps it would have fitted into your speech after the final, in which I believe your country was very unlucky to lose to ..er... now let's think ... England.
You have added that France was awarded the World Cup this year because nobody would vote for England, the only other country in the running.
You say it's all a by-product of our "born-to-rule mentality."
Of course, now I see where we've been going wrong. We must remember to spend our entire lives apologising for the fact that generations ago we discovered countries like yours, settled them and got them going before handing them over to be run by the likes of yourself.
Mr O'Neill, I think I will have the backing of every reasonable person in this blighted, second-rate, hated country of ours when I say that we bow to your clearly superior intellect and will from now on try to conduct ourselves in the way you prescribe, rather than as equal members of global sporting society.
Again, thanks for the remainder and I have no doubt you will respond to my confession on bhehalf of the English sporting community by preventing all Australian sportsmen and women from coming here and earning a living.
Yours etc ....

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