Gloucester …… Kingsholm …… The Shed. Words that conjure up images in the mind of every rugby fan in the land.

And it is to Kingsholm that our merry band of Falcons shall travel on Saturday, intent on bringing home something other than the mantle of disappointment that has shrouded our away games since our last away win against the minnows of Petrarca Padova in the ECC way back in January 2007. Against more meaningful opposition, our last away win takes us further back into the mists of time with a November 2006 victory over the Albanians at Edgeley Park; 18-26 was the final score that night following tries from Mike McCarthy (remember him?) and Gail Platt (aka James Hoyle) – the remaining points came from the boot of God (sob ..) himself. So it’s fast approaching eleven months since our last away win and high time we did something about it.

Our track record against Glos doesn’t make for happy reading though …

Last season, Gloucester put us to the sword in a rescheduled Kingsholm fixture, winning 24-18 in their last game at their home ground before moving to Ashton Gate to allow Kingsholm to be redeveloped. A brace of tries from Jamie Noon plus a conversion and two penalties from the boot of Jonny Sicknote was insufficient against three Glos tries from Lamb, Boer and Forrester plus a perfect 100% conversion rate and a penalty from Willie Wonka. Even the loss of Nieto to the sinbin wasn’t enough to give the Falcons any sort of edge as the Cherry and Whites ground out a six-point victory on home turf.

In our last six games against the West Country Cherries, we’ve only come away with the spoils once: Friday 13th April 2007 saw a 19-12 win at Kingston Park courtesy of a Toby Flood try and assorted points from the kicking boots of Flood and Wilkinson. It also saw the departure of HRH Tindull with a broken leg after a reckless challenge on young Noah, essentially scuppering the Queen’s favourite broken-nosed grandson’s chances of playing in RWC2007. At the time, I incurred the wrath of cir mhor by daring to suggest that Tindull tripped Noah deliberately: obviously that sort of thing never crossed the mind of HRH and he often leaves trailing legs as part of his general flailing around on the pitch.

Glos also have the dubious distinction of handing us our biggest ever spanking: a 9-60 mullering in May 2002, knocking us out of the Zurich Championship at the quarter-final stage.

As far as squads are concerned, Gloucester have had a signing bonanza over the off-season, with Lesley ‘The Volcano’ Vainikolo, Chris Paterson, Andy Titterell, Jeremy Paul, Gareth Delve, Mike Prendergast, Leon Lloyd and Gareth Cooper all joining the Kingsholm Army along with several other less well-known, but quite prolific, names.

Some have had a massive impact in their games too so far this season: in the opener against newly-promoted Leeds Carwotsit, Vainikolo went on a killing spree, running in five tries against the struggling Yorkshiremen. Additional tries from Balshaw, the follicly-challenged Simpson-Daniel and Anthony Allen saw the Fruits run away with the game, winning 24-49.

Gloucester have only recorded one loss so far this season, last week against the Oirish at the MadJetSki stadium. Their proud home record stands firm as a testament to the almost impregnable nature of Fortress Kingsholm: not since October 2006 has a team come to Kingsholm and walked away with the lion’s share of the points; a 26-32 loss to Agen in the Heineken Cup is the last time that Glos’ vocal home support had any reason to be disgruntled.

You have to go back to May 2006 to find the last time that Dean Richards’ men lost at Kingsholm to a domestic team following a narrow 32-37 loss to the currently-floundering Insects.

That, coupled with the Falcons’ frankly abysmal away form, does not bode well for Saturday’s clash.

So, to the teams….

The Falcons have been hit by RWC call ups and an injury pixie with a long-reaching hurting stick. Dowson, Woods, Wilkinson, Noon … all top-class players ineligible for this weekend’s clash through injury. A lacklustre midfield and flyhalf combination has provided much focus for supporters’ anger thus far in our 2007-2008 campaign. The news of Matt Burke’s season (and possibly career) ending ACL injury has done much to dampen any remaining optimism amongst Falcons followers. Fletch has his work cut out to field a halfway decent team given the numbers out through injury or enforced RWC rest periods, but this is the team he’s selected to do battle down at Kingsholm:

15 Tom May
14 Ollie Phillips
13 Tim Visser
12 Steve Jones
11 John Rudd
10 Toby Flood
9 Hall Charlton

1 Joe McDonnell (captain)
2 Matt Thompson
3 David Wilson
4 Andy Perry
5 Mark Sorenson
6 Geoff Parling
7 Brent Wilson
8 Russell Winter

Replacements:

16 Andy Long
17 Micky Ward
18 Jason Oakes
19 Ed Williamson
20 James Grindal
21 Alex Tait
22 Adam Dehaty


Not considered due to injury: Andy Buist (shoulder), Ben Woods (hand), Ross Beattie (shoulder), Phil Dowson (shoulder), Jonny Wilkinson (ankle), Mathew Tait (knee) Jamie Noon (knee), James Hoyle (hip), Mark Mayerhofler (shoulder), Matthew Burke (knee), Joe Shaw (illness), Jon Golding (calf), Lee Dickson (arm).


Lots of first choice players stuck in injury purgatory at the moment and a decidedly unusual flavour to the starting XV.

Tom May moves to fullback in an attempt to plug the huge void left by the season-ending injury to God. Fletch is playing down this movement from the wing to fullback by saying that Tom spent much of the pre-season playing in that position, but it will be baptism of fire for the prolific winger and he will surely be tested by a string of high balls from the Glos backs.

Jones moves from flyhalf to inside centre due to Joe Shaw’s withdrawal through illness. Again, this leaves us with a decidedly weak midfield, especially without the marshalling and orchestrating capabilities of Burke.

Hall Charlton makes his first start for the Falcons premier team this season and will have a major task on his hands to ensure quick ball from the breakdown before Gloucester’s back row come in, hell-bent on raping and pillaging for turnover ball.

The front row from last week’s debacle against Bath changes around with everyone’s favourite Pudding starting at loosehead and Davey Wilson coming into the side at tighthead. Matt Thompson quite rightly bags another start at hooker.

One prospect to arouse interest in even the most apathetic Falcons fan will be the possible first-team debut of Spud Jnr, Alex Tait. Mooted as a possible solution to our current woes at fullback, I will be listening to Radio Newcastle with eager interest should young Alex be dragged off the bench to enter the fray at Kingsholm.

In the absence of any team news from Gloucester and in the interests of having a preview that can be read BEFORE any travelling fans need to off down to Kingsholm, I’ll leave the preview there. Suffice to say whatever team Gloucester put out (and Dean Richards has been quoted as saying he’s intending to put out his strongest available team), our boys will have one hell of a task on their hands to overcome the Cherry and Whites on Saturday.

COME ON FALCONS!!

Dr. B.

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