However, coming back to the North East with the Plate, we can I think be satisfied with the day’s work.

The day began for me at 4.55am, getting up for a 6.40am Easyjet flight to London Stansted, from where I took two trains and a tube to get to Twickenham station at 9.50am. While waiting for Little Miss Leipziger to arrive I saw the sea of different rugby shirts emerging from every train, especially Northampton and Gloucester. Arriving at the East Stand at Twickenham we were greeted by a massive queue at Gate L, and so kept walking to find Gate H empty except a few security people. We waited five minutes until 10.30am for the gate to open, and a bit longer as the supervisor was waiting for clearance. Britain in 2004, where people can’t be independent and everything has to be signed for by a superior. Further farce was uncovered by Carlsberg only being sold on the second level, and so a trip upstairs was made to avoid offending my taste buds with the evil potion named bitter.

To the action on the pitch. Sky’s early kick-off didn’t happen as it was announced Rotherham had withdrawn for "reasons beyond their control" (the collapse of their takeover apparently) and so The Army would receive a bye to the Quarter-Finals. The Army being traditionally strong, this meant bad news for everyone else. Their opponents would be Leicester, who mounted a big second half comeback to defeat Bath 19-24. This was followed by simple wins by London Irish (17-0 over Harlequins) and Northampton (39-0 against London Welsh). Defending champions Saints looked particularly impressive, scoring almost at will against the exiles from the National League.

Worcester sealed their Quarter-Final place with a good 33-12 defeat of Loughborough University (with a try and multiple conversions from Ben Gollings), and London Wasps joined them as Peter Richards scored two tries in their 24-10 win against Leeds. Finally though it was 1.10pm and time for the match between for me two of the favourites - Gloucester and our Newcastle. Gloucester’s squad included James Simpson-Daniel, Henry Paul, Simon Amor, and Jake Boer amongst others, whilst we fielded Hall Charlton, Local Hero David Walder, Tom May, captain Jamie Noon and The Mackem Express Michael Stephenson. The West Country side drew first blood with an unconverted try from James Bailey, but both Stephenson and Ollie Phillips had tries converted by May to give us 5-14 at half time.

Phil Dowson's legendary speech...

Playing well, we had every chance of progressing until our defence fell apart in the second period. Marcel Garvey, James Forrester and Amor (who added two conversions) all crossed to fire Gloucester through 24-14. Our consolation was that we’d secured a spot in the Plate Semi-Finals against Leeds, Sale or Saracens, and the Cheshire side it was who we’d face after they lost to the Fez Boys by the same 24-14 scoreline.

When The Army finally made their bow in the 2004 competition in the first Quarter Final v Leicester at 1.50pm they ran amock, leading 24-7 at half time and finally running out 36-19 winners.

Then came what for me was the match of the tournament, London Irish v Northampton. Irish quickly went 12-0 up and led 12-5 at half time, before the Saints leveled things at 12-12. They then broke clear again five metres out, and only a tap on their attacker’s ankle brought him down before a Northampton knock-on saved Irish. The Exiles retook the lead through Scott Staniforth for 19-12. In the last seconds Northampton won a penalty at the left corner of the Irish line, spread play to the right but again knocked on and it was full time. I haven’t done this game justice here, you had to see it, but it was a cracker!

A shock win for Worcester, 12-5 over Wasps, and Gloucester’s 26-0 hammering of Saracens completed the Semi-Final lineup, before we got to the Plate Tournament. Lougborough University won the first Semi-Final 12-31 against Bath.

Tom starts the Plate semi final

Our boys took the field at 3.40pm against Sale to determine the students’ final opponents, and suddenly I became aware of three blokes sitting behind us, two noticeably older. One kept shouting "Come on Sale!" and so we got into our own shouting match, seeing who could support his team loudest. Anyway, 15 minutes later I was certainly happier… two tries from Stevo, one each from Matthew Tait and Walder and two conversions from May set us up at 24-0 at half time, and Phillips, Charlton (who converted twice, May the other) and Tait again scored to allow us to post the highest individual score of the day.

Pace, class, and youth...what more could you ask for?

MY BALL!!!!!!

Stuart Mackie's day ends with a broken collarbone...

The Sale fan said to me with about a minute to go, tongue in cheek "You know we still have a chance…" I replied "Yeah, you have a chance of us not scoring 50!" We both laughed, and thus proved to Sabrina why the majority of hard-core rugby fans are better than the majority of those in football. We won 45-7 by the time Sale had scored a consolation and were in the Plate Final, which was good if we couldn’t go too far in the main draw.

At 4.10pm the main tournament resumed, and The Army won a titanic battle with London Irish in which the crowd seemed to roar every time a player ran more than 10 metres with the ball, for either side, 21-12. Just before half time, with the soldiers leading 7-0, we had the fun of seeing a naked streaker run on the pitch from the North Stand, and while the stewards quickly attended to this matter crucial to world security, play went on and The Army scored their second try. Conquerors of the Geordies, Gloucester won the other Semi-Final 5-24 over Worcester.

Silverware on the line...look away now Lucy!

4.50pm, and the Falcons lined up against Loughborough University for the Plate. We began with a side of Tait, Noon, Stephenson, Charlton, May, Joe Shaw and Phil Dowson. Loughborough scored the first try through Steve McGuines, before May converted Charlton’s score. Then came a horrific piece of defending from one of our players chasing Tom Tombleson running through on the left wing. About 5 metres out our defender just seemed to give up! I think the player in question was Dowson, but from the other end I couldn’t be sure. Anyway, May crossed to score and converted the try to give us a 10-14 lead at the break.

Directing operations...

The students scored again earlier in the second half to give us a fright, but tries from the excellent all day Stephenson and Tait, both converted, and Noon sealed our triumph and Jamie lifted the Middlesex 7s Plate.

The score...

...the delight...

...and the booty!

The Army survived as a scare from Gloucester to win the tournament trophy 43-24, their scorers Apolisi Satala (two tries), Ratu Koroinavlivou (one try), Isoa Damu (two tries), Epeli Qolikibua (two tries and three conversions) and a possibly token-white/British-guy role-playing Howard Graham (one conversion). Gloucester’s tries were scored by Alex Page, Bailey, Simpson-Daniel, Garvey and Henry Paul’s boot added two conversions. To be honest, The Army deserved their triumph as they’d been clearly the fittest and most exciting team on the day, though maybe helped both mentally and physically, certainly against Leicester, by not having had to play Rotherham in the first round.

As for Newcastle, we also showed some excellent attacking play, particularly from May and Stephenson, and May converting from some difficult positions suggests he could potentially be a decent kicker. Youngsters Tait and Phillips also looked canny. All in all, for the players it was a good work-out with it’s lows but more highs and the huge positive of coming back with a minor, but well-earned trophy.

After the tournament we walked to the train station to get a train to Reading and start our journey to Bridgwater. On the platform at Twickenham some guy somehow engaged me in conversation about prostitutes in Budapest, though fortunately he claimed to also have no experience of the actual wares.

Thank Heavens rugby is back and I can see my beloved Falcons again. Now I just can’t wait for Munster!

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