The wind howls and leaves scatter outside the Cricketers as shoppers rush nervously home the day after All Hallows. A lone figure tries desparetely to contact his cohorts to warn of the horrors that await all souls who dare enter Bedford's perimeter.

 An abandonned vehicle carries images of Pirate Spirits of yore

 Whilst inside the Club House, the ghostly apparition of a lost Diamond Geezer from the Stoop wreaks terror amongst early diners.

 One such is DMU who runs screaming outside into the arms of Daddy Dearest for comfort. Pirate Bert boldly steps forward to exorcise all demons within...within what of course was still to be decided - but the thought was there.

Sufficiently calmed DMU draws on her faith and opts to support PB before gravity intervenes.

 DMU and Bert bring Witchfinder General, Wigston Pirate, up to speed with the actions taken to date.

 Who promptly orders the troops in to find potential scapegoats for a ducking or two later.

 With faux face fungus now in situe, Wiggy observes his henchmens ruthless quest to rid Goldington Road of the Devil Incarnate(s)

 
 Over on the far side in the Charles Wells stand, Dick Dweckly & Rupert Bland relay to the Duchy in hushed tones the blood bath that ensues. Waiting as they are to run through some routines involving telephones and answering machines in a vain attempt to put themselves forward for a certain late night slot on Radio 2. Beeb Dreckly though have anticipated such and sent along a couple of 'Advisors' to censor any dodgy broadcasting.

 Their initial work done, Wiggy's Stromtroopers return to the dressing room to change out of their blood drenched clothing.

 But the stresses of battle have taken their toll. Chris in particular finds it hard to ignore the severed arm of a victim and it's death grip on his training top.

 No wonder then the length of the queue at the Gents

 Jan has seen it all before of course while Jeff sucks on a penny gobstopper to keep the more solid contents of his stomach where they should be....in Jan's bag!

 The gore has shaken HV too who gingerly makes his way to his seat, vowing to never let bovine flesh pass his lips ever again. "Strictly vegan for me" was his mantra well into the second half.

 Emotionally drained the Press Gang call over to the dugout for refreshment

 Bravely ignoring the odd skirmish, Jan duly obliges this plea for respite

 The remaining protagonists battle it out for air supremacy with Gulliver deftly ducking his head at the right moment to see the ball disappear down Botha's throat...without so much as chewing the thing first!

 Salmons leaves the field for repairs having no doubt squared up to Franklin in heavy duty sand paper mode (abrasvive in other words)

It isn't clear as to the actual intention of one of Rowan's mates flag waving, but the smart bet was on a viable impersonation of the crane in the background.

 Until that was the Replacements 50m dash was run. Cookie you suspect would have preferred a little rolypoly down the slope which may explain his missing out on a podium finish.

 Matt looks on but has to focus on the job in hand; keeping Brett away from the tackle bags

 Tension in the dug out as Matt spots Brett heading back with the kicking tee. Mark urgently summons Rainsey to return from the warmth of the Press Gangs bosom and provide back up to Matt

 Rainsey joins Matt ecstatic at his new role but not enamoured as Matt nods off on his shoulder.

 Paves thanks Mark for not making him sit next to Matt who's 'wind' had made the journey up a mare. Behind Jan's Earthly status comes into question as his handshake with Mr Sterling draws the Kiwi coach into oblivion.

 Sensing a spiritual abyss, the players rush over to the press Gang for refuge

 But it may not be enough as the mysterious Hooded Monk chats amiably with Simon before inflicting the End of the World as We Know It.

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