Ich Komme To Fixsch Your Fridgsche
By Props Are Not Supid
December 4 2006
Dropped wife at her company’s Xmas do, and came home just before kick off. To be safe I am Sky +ing the game just in case my daughter doesn’t let me watch much.
December 4 2006
Dropped wife at her company’s Xmas do, and came home just before kick off. To be safe I am Sky +ing the game just in case my daughter doesn’t let me watch much.
Prematch chat is slightly different from the Standard BBC, as all the comments are in Welsh accent. Game starts.
Min 1. We get possession from our own kick. Geraghty misses a drop goal attempt.
Min 2. Blues have possession in our own 22. Mapusua has to tackle hard to avoid a try.
Min 3. We have problems in our won scrum, but Blues concede a penalty for deliberate wheeling.
Min 5. Blues are close to score, but lose the ball forward.
Min 6. It’s all blues at the moment, and we give away a penalty. Blues have a few phases in our own 22, but we defend well.
Min 9. Blues turn over possession after an Irish line-out.
Min 10. Oops, we lost the ball in the tackle. The touch judge has a chat with the ref, who had given a Blues scrum. The ref looked extremely angry with Delon: “Listen, please. This is not open for debate. This is our decision; it is not open for debate. That is not acceptable, go back and another 10!” Delon didn’t say anything! Why do we have a Welsh ref in an anglo-welsh encounter? I don’t understand.
Min 11. What a tackle by Mapusua! This guy is frightening. If I met him in a dark alley I’d give him all my money and clothes before he has a chance to speak.
Min 12. A Blues player is isolated and gives away a penalty for holding to the ball. Richie Rees takes a quick tap and go. The Blues defence can’t tackle him as they are not 10 metres away and after running a good 40 metres he releases to Bishop, who still has some work to do before he scores. Great try!
Min 13. Gereghty converts.
Min 15. We concede a penalty 37.6 mts. Away. The welsh commentators now say that Irish could win or draw this game. Successful kick, 3-7 to Irish.
Min 16. Another penalty given away by Irish, not looking good at the moment. Possession is 64-36 to Blues, according to the BBC stats.
Min 18. Blues enjoy a few phases in our own 22, Bishop is off side and we give away another penalty in front of the posts. The ref really looks angry with us now.
Min 19. Ben Blair kicks well and we are one pint up 6-7, although not looking very good.
Min 20. We give away another penalty. Robinson finds touch. What a funny moustache this guy has.
Min 21. Blues have camped in our own 22 and are very close to score. Blues scrum 5 metres away. Game is stopped as Mapusua lies injured on the ground. Another close up of Mapusua gives me the shivers. I’d definitely never call him Sheila.
Min 23. Blues have a few rucks a yard away from the try line, I can’t believe they haven’t scored. A very upset ref approaches Casey to remind him that Mapusua is off side. It could have been a yellow card, but not this time.
Min 25. Blair takes the three. 9-7 to Blues. It could have been a lot worse, it seems unbelievable that we haven’t conceded a try yet and we still have 15 players on the pitch.
Min 26. We are lucky again as Blues knock on what seemed an easy effortless attack in our 22.
Min 27. When was the last time that we kept the ball for longer than one minute? I can’t remember. This ref really looks angry now as he is telling off Leguizamon and Casey. They are trying to complain to him about the abuse coming from the crowd, but this ref isn’t up for a chat.
Min 28. Yet again the Blues combine a few phases in our 22, but Geraghty puts the Blues attacker into touch as he was two steps away from diving into the try line.
Min 29. We lose our own line out, and the Blues play with confidence inside our 22.
Min 30. As it was expected, finally Blues got their try as Martyn Williams dummies an outside pass, cutting inside to score. Blair keeps his 100% record by kicking the conversion. We are 16-7 down, but the score is still generous to us.
Min 33. Leguizamon makes a saving tackle to Martyn Williams, who could have had his second try in as many minutes.
Min 34. We are not competing the Blues line-out; what is happening? We are waiting for the half-time whistle, I suppose.
Min 35. The Blues are still in our 22. Great tackle by Delon.
Min 36. We lose the line out in our own throw again, as Paice throws too far away. It only takes three kick passes for the ball to reach Czekaj in the wing, although it shouldn’t be a problem as he is running into touch with two Irish players around him. WHAT? He kicks the ball on, and it bounces just the right way for him to score. Very lucky try indeed. To be fair, we could count ourselves lucky as we have only conceded two tries so far.
Min 39. We lose yet our own line-out. We are really looking rubbish now.
Min 40. My take-away is delivered just after the half time whistle, what a service. We are having burgers, chicken wings and chips.
Second Half.
Min 40. Second half starts, Fitter has come on.
Min 42. We are in the opposition 22, but we leave the ball behind in a ruck and Blues has yet another chance to attack. It has started to rain heavily now, so we can forget about scoring 3 or 4 tries.
Min 43. Kennedy comes in, hopefully we will do better at the lineouts now.
Min 46. We have the ball! – No, we don’t.
Min 47. Jonathan Davies is now making hilarious comments about the two guys in charge of the stadium scoreboard, who have run away for cover.
Min 48. We lose the ball in the tackle, looking very poor.
Min 49. Fed up now, I am going to switch over to the supporters commentary, to see it cheers me up. Funny to listen to Bisach on telly. That will be my claim to fame. I know a guy who speaks on telly.
Min 58. Barry Everitt comes in for a tired Geraghty.
Min 62. Murphy comes in for Leguizamon, Shanklin also joins the Blues.
Min 63. My daughter is making her Cinderella puzzles on the floor. She is pretty good, you know.
Min 67. Has Luveitasau scored a try? The decision goes to the video ref, scrum 5 to Blues. Tagi has just saved us from another Blues try.
Min 68. My daughter has just finished her puzzles, but there is one piece missing. We are also missing one on the pitch as Mapusua sees yellow. 24-7 now.
Min 70. The camera focuses on Blues fly half Robinson’s funny moustache. Bisach’s colleagues in the commentary box say: “He reminds me of one of the videos I have at home, when a bloke supporting a similar tash says: ‘Hallo, Ich Komme To Fixsch Your Fridgsche’” Easy now, my daughter is listening to this.
Min 71. Two Irish supporters are on the telly now. Bisach says: “I know the one on the left, she fancies Michael Horak”
Min 73. Silence in the commentary box. Bisach says: “Michael Horak is our full back, by the way”
Min 78. Blues finish in style as Robinson kicks to the wing, the ball finds Czekaj, who scores his second try of the night. 31-7 is the final result, Blues being worthy winners. Bisach is having a curry and I am going to tidy up the living room. The EDF man of the match goes to Martyn Williams, and the supporters man of the match goes to Czekaj. I’d say our best player was Rees.
Min 1. We get possession from our own kick. Geraghty misses a drop goal attempt.
Min 2. Blues have possession in our own 22. Mapusua has to tackle hard to avoid a try.
Min 3. We have problems in our won scrum, but Blues concede a penalty for deliberate wheeling.
Min 5. Blues are close to score, but lose the ball forward.
Min 6. It’s all blues at the moment, and we give away a penalty. Blues have a few phases in our own 22, but we defend well.
Min 9. Blues turn over possession after an Irish line-out.
Min 10. Oops, we lost the ball in the tackle. The touch judge has a chat with the ref, who had given a Blues scrum. The ref looked extremely angry with Delon: “Listen, please. This is not open for debate. This is our decision; it is not open for debate. That is not acceptable, go back and another 10!” Delon didn’t say anything! Why do we have a Welsh ref in an anglo-welsh encounter? I don’t understand.
Min 11. What a tackle by Mapusua! This guy is frightening. If I met him in a dark alley I’d give him all my money and clothes before he has a chance to speak.
Min 12. A Blues player is isolated and gives away a penalty for holding to the ball. Richie Rees takes a quick tap and go. The Blues defence can’t tackle him as they are not 10 metres away and after running a good 40 metres he releases to Bishop, who still has some work to do before he scores. Great try!
Min 13. Gereghty converts.
Min 15. We concede a penalty 37.6 mts. Away. The welsh commentators now say that Irish could win or draw this game. Successful kick, 3-7 to Irish.
Min 16. Another penalty given away by Irish, not looking good at the moment. Possession is 64-36 to Blues, according to the BBC stats.
Min 18. Blues enjoy a few phases in our own 22, Bishop is off side and we give away another penalty in front of the posts. The ref really looks angry with us now.
Min 19. Ben Blair kicks well and we are one pint up 6-7, although not looking very good.
Min 20. We give away another penalty. Robinson finds touch. What a funny moustache this guy has.
Min 21. Blues have camped in our own 22 and are very close to score. Blues scrum 5 metres away. Game is stopped as Mapusua lies injured on the ground. Another close up of Mapusua gives me the shivers. I’d definitely never call him Sheila.
Min 23. Blues have a few rucks a yard away from the try line, I can’t believe they haven’t scored. A very upset ref approaches Casey to remind him that Mapusua is off side. It could have been a yellow card, but not this time.
Min 25. Blair takes the three. 9-7 to Blues. It could have been a lot worse, it seems unbelievable that we haven’t conceded a try yet and we still have 15 players on the pitch.
Min 26. We are lucky again as Blues knock on what seemed an easy effortless attack in our 22.
Min 27. When was the last time that we kept the ball for longer than one minute? I can’t remember. This ref really looks angry now as he is telling off Leguizamon and Casey. They are trying to complain to him about the abuse coming from the crowd, but this ref isn’t up for a chat.
Min 28. Yet again the Blues combine a few phases in our 22, but Geraghty puts the Blues attacker into touch as he was two steps away from diving into the try line.
Min 29. We lose our own line out, and the Blues play with confidence inside our 22.
Min 30. As it was expected, finally Blues got their try as Martyn Williams dummies an outside pass, cutting inside to score. Blair keeps his 100% record by kicking the conversion. We are 16-7 down, but the score is still generous to us.
Min 33. Leguizamon makes a saving tackle to Martyn Williams, who could have had his second try in as many minutes.
Min 34. We are not competing the Blues line-out; what is happening? We are waiting for the half-time whistle, I suppose.
Min 35. The Blues are still in our 22. Great tackle by Delon.
Min 36. We lose the line out in our own throw again, as Paice throws too far away. It only takes three kick passes for the ball to reach Czekaj in the wing, although it shouldn’t be a problem as he is running into touch with two Irish players around him. WHAT? He kicks the ball on, and it bounces just the right way for him to score. Very lucky try indeed. To be fair, we could count ourselves lucky as we have only conceded two tries so far.
Min 39. We lose yet our own line-out. We are really looking rubbish now.
Min 40. My take-away is delivered just after the half time whistle, what a service. We are having burgers, chicken wings and chips.
Second Half.
Min 40. Second half starts, Fitter has come on.
Min 42. We are in the opposition 22, but we leave the ball behind in a ruck and Blues has yet another chance to attack. It has started to rain heavily now, so we can forget about scoring 3 or 4 tries.
Min 43. Kennedy comes in, hopefully we will do better at the lineouts now.
Min 46. We have the ball! – No, we don’t.
Min 47. Jonathan Davies is now making hilarious comments about the two guys in charge of the stadium scoreboard, who have run away for cover.
Min 48. We lose the ball in the tackle, looking very poor.
Min 49. Fed up now, I am going to switch over to the supporters commentary, to see it cheers me up. Funny to listen to Bisach on telly. That will be my claim to fame. I know a guy who speaks on telly.
Min 58. Barry Everitt comes in for a tired Geraghty.
Min 62. Murphy comes in for Leguizamon, Shanklin also joins the Blues.
Min 63. My daughter is making her Cinderella puzzles on the floor. She is pretty good, you know.
Min 67. Has Luveitasau scored a try? The decision goes to the video ref, scrum 5 to Blues. Tagi has just saved us from another Blues try.
Min 68. My daughter has just finished her puzzles, but there is one piece missing. We are also missing one on the pitch as Mapusua sees yellow. 24-7 now.
Min 70. The camera focuses on Blues fly half Robinson’s funny moustache. Bisach’s colleagues in the commentary box say: “He reminds me of one of the videos I have at home, when a bloke supporting a similar tash says: ‘Hallo, Ich Komme To Fixsch Your Fridgsche’” Easy now, my daughter is listening to this.
Min 71. Two Irish supporters are on the telly now. Bisach says: “I know the one on the left, she fancies Michael Horak”
Min 73. Silence in the commentary box. Bisach says: “Michael Horak is our full back, by the way”
Min 78. Blues finish in style as Robinson kicks to the wing, the ball finds Czekaj, who scores his second try of the night. 31-7 is the final result, Blues being worthy winners. Bisach is having a curry and I am going to tidy up the living room. The EDF man of the match goes to Martyn Williams, and the supporters man of the match goes to Czekaj. I’d say our best player was Rees.
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