“Well! Ford! Road! That is a great penance, for the striped beast that guards the well is greater yet than the striped foe of Adam’s Park. Few there are who stand upon the Crumbie surrounded by their enemies and watch their heroes prevail.”

“And yet so shall ye travel for though many doubted as you have done, you have taken Holy Orders and it does not befit one of the Green Cloth to doubt so. Go in peace my son and doubt no more.”

As I journeyed north I knew this was to be an even sterner test. Like Gollum I had two voices whispering in my ear. We had beaten the Guinness Premiership champions and made them look ordinary. “Yes my precious but now we were facing the other finalist on their home turf.” “But we have won our last six premiership matches” whined Smeagol. “Silly Hobbitses, we have not tamed the beast in its own lair since 1923. And when did we last win our first two matches of the season?” “2001/2. We beat the Jokers at the Stoop 32 – 21 before thrashing the Tykes 42 14 at home.” “Yes, yes yes but these are not Tykeses are they my precious? They are Tigers, we cannot beat pussycats away without our own Catty, not without big Bob, not without Shane.”

“Get thee behind me Satan! Not a week past I was beset with the same doubts and I was proved wrong. We have the same squad, except that Mike has made way for Eoghan, and Alex has dropped to the bench to give Tonga a start. And we have our two new signings warming the bench: Elvis Sevialii from Sharks and Nick Rousse from Gloucester.”

That was what I thought as I journeyed north not realising that Nick Kennedy had called in sick on the morning of the match. And so I finally made it into the Crumbie and saw that I had indeed been punished! The seats are up top smack behind the posts. Well at least the kickers can use my mitre as a sighting point! Waiting for the off there was not a breath of wind to test the kickers and broken cloud that never really threatened rain. Just as well for it seems that the £82 I had spent getting myself and two wee waifs into the ground not only plonked us behind the posts, it offered no chance of shelter.

Heavenly Father, give me the strength of Daniel. As our foes beset us our handling is poor. The clearance when it comes does not attempt to find touch and fails to clear the backs allowing first blood to the Tigers. 7-0 This does not reflect the run of play as all the early pressure was from the Exiles. The attacking platform when it came to Tigers was from a clearance kick to relieve our blistering early attack. Soon after we were awarded a penalty well inside our own half. Having seen Delon fail from similar range last week was this too big an ask for Eoghan? Not at all. He nails it and narrows the gap to 7-3. The Tigers were left in no doubt that it was game on, and came back at us hard. Time and again we thwarted them in the loose and at the scrum where they struggled and were easily wheeled on their put in. Eventually Chris White lost patience and pinged us 5m out and just to the left of the posts. OK so I am behind the post so actually for the kicker it is to the right. In any event he misses and show that Leicester are fallible. In fact despite the closer score line we are doing what we did last week: make the opposition look ordinary.

To emphasise the point we turned over from the restart only to knock on ourselves and lose the advantage, a pattern which became familiar throughout the match. To catch a tiger at Welford Road you have to play out of your skins. As a confident but depleted side were we guilty of trying too hard, or were they forcing us to play on the limit? Whichever we were certainly testing them, judging by the number of seemingly unplanned substitutions they made in the first half. All this just added to the sense that we could nick this one. Our pressure continued with a long kick to touch and more pressure on their line which finally led to Steffon scoring in the corner. We are ahead, 7-10! Coming back at the restart Tigers pressured us and won the penalty, only to see it hit the upright. We were heading for half time in the lead. That however was not the game plan for our hosts and they really piled on the pressure to get the try and go into half time with a lead. Our lines held firm if uncomfortably close and five metres out we were forced to defend a scrum in front of the posts. The pattern was repeated and we denied them clean ball by wheeling which they could only respond to by lifting. Time and again this was repeated until finally they were awarded a penalty which they took quickly. In desperation Eoghan “took one for the team” disrupted the quick penalty instead of retreating. For this he earned a yellow card but no penalty try. With the clock running down Leicester opted to go into the break 10-10 rather than risk going for a try.

The Exiles came out in the second half believing they could win. Less than ten minutes in there is a kick and chase by Maps and he scores in the corner. He is obviously laying to rest the demons that led him to leave Welford Road last Christmas with a broken hand. His determination today gets him my vote as man of the match. With our lead back to 10-17 Tigers were not about to give us our first victory on their home ground since 1923 and with 26 minutes left on the clock they levelled it at 17 apiece. A series of handling errors at the restart typified not, as may be imagined, poor skills but rather the pressure and determination of both sides. They knock on at our restart then turn the ball over as we clear it from the scrum only to knock on again. It is only us being caught offside in all this confusion that allow them to clear their lines to touch. Without Nick Kennedy and possibly thanks in part to the ELVs for the first time in a long while our lineout starts to look vulnerable. Only a series of thumping tackles keep the tigers caged. None more so than a try saving effort by Topsy that left him on his knees clutching his arm as play continued. (Apologies if this is a mistaken identity, it was all taking place at the far end of the pitch.) From this vantage point all I could see was wave after wave of tiger attack thwarted by some great tackling, then Maps getting the turnover and breaking away to almost score again himself.

There is sixteen minutes on the clock and now it is Irish who turn the screw. Leicester are getting the lion’s or should that be the tiger’s share of the decisions from the scrum, but when we finally get the put in Eoghan is back in the pocket. The drop goal misses. There was no advantage being played so it was not a kick to nothing. As always had it gone over it would have been the right decision, but it didn’t. Soon after it is Tigers turn to score under the posts. They might be beginning to feel safe at 24-17 but we still with fourteen minutes on the clock look like we can win. An opportunity to close the gap in the form of a kickable penalty is missed by us and then thankfully by them. As the counter attack is fumbled I am starting to feel a sense of panic or desperation in our effort to finally break Leicester lines and secure an historic win. It is a last ditch try by Delon that saw us within a conversion of a draw at 24 – 22. But the extra points were not added. We entered the final minute of play only to see a very relieved Leicester player boot the ball into the grandstand as soon as the clock had run down.

What is the collective noun for tigers? Today it certainly was not a pride, we made them look ordinary. We have now played both last years finalists in the Premiership and come away with 5 points. If anyone had offered me that in August I would have bitten their arm off. Toby has stepped up to the plate. The recognition we finally started getting last season as we approached the Heineken Cup Final has continued. Only the foolish dismiss any team in the Premiership as an easy fixture. The Exiles have served notice again that they are mixing it with the best in the premiership and that they can and will do so with the best in Europe.

“Well my son, did you believe we would win?”

“Yes Father.” “And did we?” “No Father”

“When you doubted, did we win?”

“Yes Father”

“And what has this taught you my son?”

“Not to listen to you Holy Father.”

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