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Bye Bye Balti Pie


By Props Are Not Stupid
March 30 2016

Let’s start with a simple fact: I don’t want to write this match report. Nobody enjoys being the bearer of bad news. London Irish may be able to stay up this season from a mathematical point of view, but judging by what I saw at Sixways last Saturday makes me believe that we are going to score a single try in the rest of the season, let alone winning a game.

I set off from leafy Surrey with Finno around midday. As soon as I got into his car I was boasting at the fact that this time we didn’t have to drive back 40 miles because I had left my tickets in my car as it happened when we travelled to Exeter a few months back. “here it is, I am not forgetting my ticket this time!”, I said. Just to make sure I went: “Ticket, check. Wallet, check. Phone, sh#t!”, back to the car to get my phone. Well, nobody’s perfect.

It was a long drive, but we never stopped talking about London Irish. When I speak to another fellow London Irish supporter I can feel how much people feel for this club. The players may get about 5 times our wages and will not become homeless if we are relegated. The club has over 100 years of history and as the song says “we will be here for 100 more”, but the way things are genuinely worried about the immediate future of the club. When we did the long drive to Exeter Finno did the match report and this time it was my turn. We were hoping that this time things would turn out different, as that game in Exeter was one of the worst performances I had seen from London Irish. Finno had predicted a win from London Irish by 2 points and my prediction in the Prediction League was 21-19 to Worcester. I should know better, as I am currently top of the table in the prediction league.

As we were approaching Worcester we were getting more and more excited about the game, and nervous at the same time. I mentioned to Finno that the last time I visited Worcester I had a fantastic chicken Balti pie. I had asked in the Worcester message board if they still did the chicken Balti pies and the answer was positive. We were salivating so much thinking about the  chicken Balti pies that we missed junction 6 and then junction 7, but we still made it to the ground with over one hour to spare before kick-off. The first thing we did was head to the food outlet by the main stand and order the pies, but to our desolation there were no chicken pies, so we both had curry and chips, which was really nice. As we were having the curry and chips this friendly Worcester supporter approached us and asked us: “What is going wrong with you guys this season?” I replied with the usual things we have all mentioned in this message board many times before: new coach, not only new to the club but also to the premiership and to northern hemisphere style of rugby, injuries, players leaving, no decent fly half after Mr Goode left us as the season was about to start, etc. I could also have mentioned that we have a club that is being run by London Irish fans that take decisions with the heart rather than the head, but I wasn’t going to bore that chap to death.

As we had unreserved standing tickets, we got early our positions on the front row by the 20 metre flag under the heavy wind and rain. We were watching both teams warming up. Worcester were doing a number of drills as a team and London Irish were doing individual stretches and chucking the ball around. You could see Tom Coventry standing around quietly I couldn’t believe we were so relaxed before a game that was key to our survival. I am in my mid 40’s and still play the odd game of social rugby, but in my team the captain and the senior players would be shouting motivation words to the rest of the team before an important game, but there was none of that in this case. I assume it happens behind closed doors in the changing room.

Although the game started under the heavy wind and rain, the conditions improved fairly quickly and we didn’t have the gales that had been forecasted. In my head the target for this game was to stay within 7 points until the final 10 minutes and then really go for it to get the big W. After 28 minutes the score was still 0-0, which I was fairly pleased with. I thought, what a cunning plan, a 0-0 draw will be 2 points for each team, which will make Worcester all but safe and London Irish will get 2 points closer to Newcastle and therefore salvation. I actually didn’t mind travelling all the way to Worcester and spend three hours under the rain if that meant that we are going to watch premiership rugby next season. We had a couple of chances to kick for points, but we decided to go for the corner each time. Although I was fairly surprised with this decisions, they weren’t dead cert kicks as it was still quite windy and our line-outs were working ok. As soon as I was contemplating my thoughts of how great a 0-0 was Worcester got themselves 6-0 up with two consecutive penalties in no more than a minute. We went to halftime with a 6-0 and it didn’t look that either team was ever going to score a try even if we were playing for hours. Either good defences, handling errors or weather conditions prevented either team from scoring a single try for the whole game, so it came down to each team’s discipline and accuracy with the kicking. We lost 12-6 in the end, a losing bonus point against a poor Worcester that reflected their place in the table. This wasn’t a game to remember for its quality of rugby, it was never going to be anything other than a relegation struggle that weighs so much over our players that they are not taking the right decisions or are not taking a simple pass. I am quite sure that if we had nothing to play for we would have scored at least a couple of tries and would have gone to win easily, but a handful of individual errors in attack were key to our defeat. Not all was doom and gloom, our scrums were very good, our line-outs were good (we missed one key attacking line-out) and our defensive game, even if it looked desperate and reckless, was very effective. I was impressed with our defence, both from our forwards and our backs. I would give the tackle of the game to Ciaran Hearn, who also had the blunder of the game after being unable to collect a pop pass from TBC with 20 metres to go and no defenders to beat. At my rugby club that would have cost him a pint of gin. I had a word with TBC after the game and he mentioned the incident, and he said that the team will remind him of it on Monday. Whatever they do, I don’t mind if it is a pint of gin or an extra hour in the gym, let’s hope they learn the lesson for next time and they iron out those mistakes that can be the difference between a win and a defeat.

As we got on the shuttle bus back to the park and ride we check this site and social media and read the comments from people about the game. Judging by the language used by people, it must have been a lot worse on the telly than at the ground. I have been trying to motivate myself to watch the game on telly before writing this match report, but it has been four days since the game was played and I haven’t been able to find the motivation yet. I went to see the Academy game at Hazelwood last night (0-36 to Exeter Chiefs, by the way) and some fellow supporters advised me to close my eyes while watching the game on telly at certain parts of the game, so I have decided not to watch it at all.

I like to finish my match reports on a positive note, but on this occasion the only positive note is that Wasps’s last minute try on Sunday makes this past weekend a step forward rather than a step back. The team will have to improve in their attacking play if they want to beat Sale, who have just defeated the in-form Leicester Tigers.

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Bye Bye Balti Pie
Discussion started by The Craic www.londonirish.org , 30/03/2016 10:32
The Craic www.londonirish.org
30/03/2016 10:32
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Finno
31/03/2016 00:06
Great report PANS, just the way I remembered the day.

Shame about those pies!! You certainly big'ed them up !!

waltham
31/03/2016 09:04
Never mind lads, there'll still be the Balti pies at the Madstad next season

Shawshank
31/03/2016 09:24
Excellent report PANS, we feel your pain...!

And no, don't watch a replay.(Sm100)

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