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Top Gear!

By Bill the Chip
March 16 2018

As someone who goes to every Irish game home and away, and also an avid reader of the Craic, I thought I should step up and help Griff's regular pleadings and do a match a write up!

It turns out it was the easiest thing I’ve ever written, "Why?" I hear you all ask, well that’s because Dai Young the Wasps head coach said it all to Sky TV in what was horrific conditions due to torrential rain and hailstorms “The best team lost” – his words not mine. In what was an error strewn game we were the better team and deserved more, but that’s the tough end of professional sport.

So if you are still with me at this point I’d like to share some views on this great club of ours partly due to my observations of travelling to the away venues from New York to Allianz Park and this weeks visit to Wasps, but also the heated and varied views on the Craic.

The single biggest thing I’ve learned being back in the premiership is just how far behind we are as a club. This was starkly shown to us most on Saturday at Wasps but also 3 months earlier at Saracens. With both clubs pleading, being on their knees with 20 players missing from each squad – wow I thought we’re in with a chance! If you get 5 minutes take a look at the side Dai Young managed to field…staggering and on top of this he can let Cipriani and Haskell go next season because he’s upgraded for the newer southern hemisphere models. There layeth the difference…

I’m going to try to and explain this to the angry mob on the Craic by way of cars…stick with me please.

I’m the one in the car park with the Porsche and number plate GO11RSH (I’m not showing off but need this for example). In the Premiership there are 10 Porsches and 2 lets say Golfs. One of the Golfs is a GTI and has its own garage. The other lovely green one, with Hazelwood alloys is us. It’s a great car, does everything you want it to but it ain’t a Porsche. We give it four great young mechanics called Nick, Dec, Paul and George to look after it and they love it as much as we do, they sweat and toil like NO OTHER mechanics in the area – but it ain no Porsche.

Hell we even tried to bolt on a Lewington turbo, they stiffened the suspension with Ben Franks struts and Arno Botha brakes. Each Saturday we pick up our lovely little runner up ready to give the Porsches a run for their money only to find they have upgraded to the Porsche "Piutau or Farrell".

Sure I hear you say we stuffed the Porsche Harlequin first race of the season. Well I think we caught them at the lights while they retuned their DAB radio. Not everyone will get caught with that old trick they’ll be waiting at the next stop sign.

Now for the guys on the Craic, the Shawshanks, GHA and others. I get it’s your car too but to me you're just filling the boot with biggest Austin Healey double sub-woofer blaring out tunes no one wants to hear. This team and young management give everything every week – it's why I still go. Given time like Rob Baxter, a ground they can call their own and either the money to buy a Porsche or better still "The" most up to date shiny fastest Porsche, Lamborghini or Aston Martin at least able to compete on an equal level, but then and only then can we park in the Premiership car park.

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Top Gear!
The Craic (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 09:57
What do you think? You can have your say by posting below.
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Re: Top Gear!
Steelman (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 11:33
Very nicely presented,BtC,even if it isn't entirely
My point of view,well done.

Re: Top Gear!
LI Bohemian (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 11:56
I like it, the best explanations are the least complicated
Well written

Re: Top Gear!
Paul_D (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 12:38
I thoroughly enjoyed reading that smiling smiley

Re: Top Gear!
Shawshank (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 15:58
Bill - if you removed yer chip, you will see that I have actually been generally supportive of the coaching team, apart from the attack coaching role.

And I'm sure you're not showing off mentioning your Porsche...

Re: Top Gear!
Lambo (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 16:21
A great read, Bill. Thanks.

Re: Top Gear!
Bill the chip (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 17:31
Brilliant shawshank I thought you would have been here sooner..... but welcome,,!Ain't it funny how I do one tiny little critism of your views and the bottom lip quivers.
I Find many of your comments bang on... you know your stuff! What I have a problem with is this, take your Ford/Farrel post on saturday. If youd started that 3 days before the event, its a great forum debate! DO IT 30 mins after the game and its a different animal!
You asked the question,, Can anyone explain what Ford actually brings??? I should imagine Every sports teacher, youth coach , professional club coach and National coach could answer that one for you.....are they all wrong?
All I'm saying, is the informed shawshank is a good read.the bandwagon one ain't,,!
As for the car.. I owned a Nissan Figaro before( look it up)but like I said in the piece I needed it for an Example, and it had been brought up in a previous post maybe I should have used Lewis Hamilton's car as an example? I was just writing a match report .... which most seemed to enjoy maybe your answer shows more about your character than it does my ego ..... they didn't do A BIG CHIP plate

Re: Top Gear!
Anonymous User (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 17:34
So... After reading this a couple of times I think I've worked out what our problem is. We've got this Golf and we've got these mechanics but there's no one driving the damn thing grinning smiley

Re: Top Gear!
Bill the chip (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 17:51
THE point is at this moment in doesn't matter who's driving...the current pit crew/mechanics/drivers are just not gonna get anymore out of that little golf to challenge the other cars( I'm not allowed to mention)
This was obviously posted and written before the exciting news in the week and the changes this may bring ,, I for one can't wait

Re: Top Gear!
Anonymous User (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 17:56
Bill the chip
THE point is at this moment in doesn't matter who's driving...the current pit crew/mechanics/drivers are just not gonna get anymore out of that little golf to challenge the other cars( I'm not allowed to mention)
This was obviously posted and written before the exciting news in the week and the changes this may bring ,, I for one can't wait

It's OK Bill, it was only in jest (hence the smiley).

That said I am trying to decide who the driver would be, is it Kidney and or kiss or the on field captain?

Anyway, like you I'm super excited by the Kidney / Kiss combo.

Re: Top Gear!
Bill the chip (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 18:16
REALLY interesting Florida... are we going for a miracle escape.. or throw the young guys in he knows are staying next year!

Re: Top Gear!
Anonymous User (IP Logged)
16/03/2018 19:50
Personally I would be looking for the miracle escape until it's mathematically impossible at which point I would then probably not play the young lads. While there are benefits to giving the young lads a taste of the premiership, there's a very high possibility of damaging their confidence by bringing them into a poorly performing side.

Re: Top Gear!
Finno (IP Logged)
20/03/2018 10:46
Great read....loved it!!!

Re: Top Gear!
Saz's old man (IP Logged)
28/03/2018 12:53
Nice one BtC...

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