London Irish are having the roller coaster season which the new coach Brian Smith predicted. He told us we could expect some good performances and some dire ones. On Friday night at Leicester, the few Irish supporters in attendance experienced that horrible feeling you get in your stomach as the rollercoaster suddenly pitches you earthwards at a high speed. And yet it all started so well.

From the off, Irish were on the attack. Relentlessly pounding the Leicester line, and forcing an early penalty for killing the ball. (A feature of Leicesters play for the whole game, but rarely penalised). Barry kicked it and we were 3 – 0 up after about 5 minutes.

From the restart Leicester gained possession, then lost it and Irish were awarded a scrum. The fatblokes did the job and presented decent ball, which willis made a bit of a meal of, and Barry eventually got a pretty average pass. He in turn decided to have a tea break before attempting the touch kick, and this gave ample time for the once speedy, but now almost zimmer bound Austin Healy to amble forward and charge it down. At Welford road the ball would not dare to do anything but sit up nicely for him, so sit up it did, and he sauntered under the posts for the first try. Goode converted, and after seven minutes, and only touching the ball about 5 times, Leicester were 7 – 3 ahead.

Undeterred Irish were straight back at the Tigers throats pressing the line. Now I had the crappest seat in the house. Alliance and Leicester stand Row M seat 150. ie. Right in the blimmin corner behind the goal line. But as luck would have it this seat was perfect to see Mr. Mayhems first telling contribution. Irish were recycling and crashing the ball up in the Tigers 22. Murph crashed over and got the touch down which even the Leicester boys on a stag do who surrounded me, agreed was an excellent try, but Mayhem was in a “slow walking contest with Austin and the touch judge and so they all missed it. Had it been on TV, the TMO would have awarded it but on this occasion Mayhem just used it to kick off his one man show.

Also, this was the point when the Irish heads started to go down, and the rollercoaster began to accelerate. Leicester at last started to get some possession and some control, and they began a concerted spell of pressure for about ten minutes which culminated in Mr Mayhems second telling contribution. This time, I will award him an “assist” Tigers were pressing on the right between the 10 and the 22. Ben Kay broke from a Maul, and Roachey had him lined up. Mayhem spotted the danger, and ran a perfect “American Football” interference to block the tackler, leaving Kay ample time to get to the line for the 2nd touch down. Mayhem pulled his shirt over his head and ran around like Fabrizio Ravanelli taking the adulation of the crowd (OK not really), and Goode kicked the extras.

Of course, while all this stuff is going on, the old roller coaster is revving nicely, and the Irish boys are seriously starting to doubt themselves. The normal Welford road penalty count is mounting up against the visitors and Goode is ticking the old scoreboard over. Anyway, the half ended at 18 – 3 to Tigers and Catty copped one right at the end, which forced him off, with Riki moving to 12 and Horak coming on at 15.

The 2nd half was all Tigers. Irish got loads of ball but just could not get through the brilliant Tigers defence, and often were pushed backwards. Scrums and lineouts were pretty equal but Tigers won the forward battle in the loose with a lot to spare. Mr Mayhem, having had his moment in the spotlight now settled into a kind of rhythm. Spotting Irish killing things but not Leicester. Tigers third try came from a big agricultural drive from Tigers involving several trucks and trailers, as well as a couple of panteknicons, and eventually resulting in George Chuter touching down for Goode to convert.

Soon after this, Irish had their 2nd disallowed “try”. I wasn’t well placed to see it and neither was Mr. Maybank, so it was disallowed and Mayhem took his 2nd dose of adoration from the crowd. And that is when the wheels fell off.

Quite how Tigers didn’t get another 5 tries I will never know. Our boys were dreadfull. It all culminated in Robbie Russell replacing the injured Coetzee, and spending about 3 minutes on the field before doing something which I didn’t see, but doing it so close to Mayhem that even he couldn’t miss it, thereby departing and leaving Irish with no front row. Uncontested scrums and no one to throw in at the lineout. Tigers attacked right, and we managed to tackle them into touché with about 3 minutes left. Collins threw it in and miraculously Nick the ball caught it. A ruck ensued, and a Tigers body was as always preventing release, so Big Bob stamped on it (Very clever) right in front of Mr Maybank. Tigers kicked the corner, won the lineout, and set up another big convoy of trucks, trailers Ladas and combine harvesters to push Michael Holford over for the bonus point.

Here, I must not be churlish. On the way out, I heard Tigers supporters saying it was a good performance from their team, and in retrospect it was. They were really solid up front, especially in the loose, and their defence was fantastic.

On the other hand it was a miserable performance from Irish, and the scoreline, I believe accurately represents the diference between the teams. Even so, the early contributions from Mr. Mayhem took away any small chance Irish may have had.

There were a couple of good performances from Irish Players. Dec had a stormer, and Scuse, when he replaced Faan in the 2nd half, was everywhere, as well as doing his set piece work. There were in contrast to this, some dreadful performances. Barry has now given away 2 charge down tries in 2 weeks. He looked very out of sorts with his touch kicking, and his handling of the Tigers defence was pretty awful. Willis had a stinker but when dodge replaced him, the areas around the breakdown, which had previously looked like a minefield, proved to be pretty benign, and if anyone wants to know why EO’S doesn’t pick Bob for Ireland. Watch the video of this game. Bob was ineffective as a forward, and popped up at least 5 times at 2nd receiver to slow down and crab backs moves. On at least 3 of these occasions he turned the ball over, then to add insult, he gave away a stupid penalty to gift Tigers their BP.

This was a wake up call. We are much better than we were, but Tigers….. And Mr. Mayhem, reminded us we still have a long way to go. The question is, has the rollercoaster reached the bottom yet?

I don’t think we will have another game which will equal this for bad play allied to bad fortune, so I reckon the only way is up. And 13 points from November isn’t so bad…. Is it!!!

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