ComeAllWithin.co.uk - EDF Cup: London Irish 8-10 Harlequins

The omens had not been good: a weaker team than usual; Irish had mugged Glaws last week; half an hour on Fulham Palace Road in traffic; a missed junction on the M4 (I kid you not); and the remnants of a hangover. However, having realised that the large, well lit white structure by junction 11 was indeed my destination – it's amazing how cries of "Dad you're a git" help your navigational skills- the afternoon suddenly started to have a Carlsberg feel to it. We got parked , tickets, beers, food and seated in time for kick off within about 3 minutes of leaving the motorway at what felt like ten to three.

Quins trotted out in the new away kit – I must be honest (burn me at the stake if you must) and say that it helped tell the wood from the trees on the pitch – and it's got that good old fashioned look when we had white shorts and white collars to the shirts. We then seemed to spend most of the first half defending and we did it well. And when we didn't defend Roy Maybank stepped in with his own version of the cover tackle by awarding some well timed penalties and disallowed what looked like a good try for Phil Murphy. If there was crossing then Topsy Ojo is Wicklow born and bred.

However, Quins did in the end contrive to offer Irish an identical scoring opportunity – please guys, we insist, make full use of the narrow side, we really don't need it this afternoon – which Murphy took. Continuing the "Groundhog Day" feeling, Staunton, having missed a not difficult penalty, then showed his consistency by missing a not difficult conversion. The home crowd sensed that it was one of those days when the game could turn on a kick and their disappointment was tangible……..that's Gaelic for "I don't feckin' believe it, yer man's missed again".

Once John P was restored to the pitch Quins began to rumble a bit and Will Skinner cut a massive hole through the Irish cover to take play into their 22. Totally nonplussed by their strange surroundings the Irish narrow side cover decided to take a tea break. Chris H barrelled over from a scrum five in style reminiscent of LBND at his best. Chris was his usual "abrasive as sandpaper" all afternoon and really earned his match fee. Incidentally, Chris H reminds me of the character "McClaren" from Porridge – that's a "looky likey" for our older readers (and let's face it that's most of you). AJ then did his one step howitzer routine and knocked over the conversation nonchalantly.

The try gave us a bit of a buzz and from then on the game was much more even. AJ and Del O'Narmitage traded long range penalties to give us the lead by a short head at half time.

In the second 40 we used the wind well and kept Irish penned back in their half most of the time. Peter Richards – man of the match by a country mile – was absolute class and did his best to get keep Irish fizzing but Roy Maybank – another chalked off try – and our back row did enough to keep the genie in the bottle. Incidentally, on a dour afternoon all of the class acts shone – Richards, Strettle and Skinner. Danny Care was not disgraced at all up against Richards and it will have done his education a power of good, but Richards is some way ahead in the Red Rose queue. Danny's only black mark was his kicking from hand that owed more to Molly Sugden than Molly Malone.

Like my time at college, the second half just went on a bit too long and there was no scoring. The best chance fell to Chris Malone who missed one that looked uncannily as easy as the one he missed against Wasps – in gafferspeak "it’s déjà vu all over again, boss". I'm beginning to think that he's the love child of Don Fox (Google him if you're not sure) and Gavin Hastings. However, his kicking from hand was great and kept the Irish at bay. They only really threatened when Quins decided to do something rash and run it form our 22. AJ, DWB and Keogh combined beautifully but SK then contrived to give an interception pass which took us back to square one and beyond. The forwards dug deep again to get us out of the mire from the resulting scrum 5.

The pack collectively did a great job – they wanted to play for each other and looked after each other all afternoon. The scrums were all over the place – no surprise there then – but the guys kept the grunt up all afternoon, in particular the new boys in the front row. I sometimes think John Kingston deserves more credit than he gets. Mike Ross only wears his scrum cap to minimise the effects of all the neck/back slapping – he doesn't give a monkeys about his ears.

The backs in truth did not get chance to shine. DWB looked smooth and up for the physical challenge of the Premiership but we will see more of him on a less murky afternoon. He did though leave the field with that brand of clean shorts that the forwards so hate the backs for. Stretts is a very long way from the worst full back I've ever seen in a Quins shirt – Dan Luger, come on down – and in fact he looked as smooth as Tait and hoofed from hand well. On a couple of occasions he was a tap tackle away from clear blue water and he's a class act for someone who looks like he should be serving burgers and chips from a van by the east stand. Ugo, Tosh and SK saw less of the ball than the lads in track suits around the perimeter – on another day they could have been charged the admission money as spectators. On the bright side, SK could get an under 16s ticket couldn't he?

So as the rain and the gloom descended Molly thumped the ball almost up to where I was sitting in row ZZ and that was that. Commiserations to the Irish – they had the wrong end of the whistle and their pack were game. Richards was a firecracker but the rest of the backs lacked invention the way Ian Duncan Smith lacked voter appeal. It was not a "beautiful game" but we won and I think Irish should get credit for what they do. There was still a bagful of atmosphere in a sparsely populated stadium, the drums kept my kids quiet, the beer is poured quickly and there was a lively band on afterwards. Their fans did not get the performance they deserved.

It’s a cliché that success stories have a thousand fathers but disasters are always orphans. The EDF trophy is something of an orphan but an away win suddenly means that Quins are up there as potential foster parents. Credit to the team and in particular the pack for not bottling it……this is a good chance of silverware as no one else will fancy a trip to Irish and winning our home games may now be enough.

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