ComeOnYouSaints end of season poll

And so it's come to this, bare your soul time...

The team started wobbly and it just continued all season, up and down, up and down like Jenna Jameson's knickers. While injury has played its part, it cannot be seen to be our only worthwhile excuse for now being a National Division One team, we have to look further afield for answers.

So that is why we ask you guys....

Lou and I have changed the format slightly from previous years where we have followed many of the questions originally thought up by the great statto, Mark H. Essentially we have added a further section which we have tentatively titled "The Blame Game" Now we warn you its not pleasant reading, but it is cathartic. Both Lou and I see this as a one year only deal....

Unless we don't return to the premiership next year!

Eep!!!

So we started with a wobble, sneaking past the falcons on the opening day. We looked really good for about half an hour, then we lost JC, and we suddenly lost a great deal of pace, power and one of Los' primary weapons...

By the end of the game we were hanging on for grim death, despite absolutely battering the selection of cub scouts on bob-a-job that Falcons found at the back of the bus, cleaning black jacks and fruit salad wrappers, and had decided to play in their pack.

The "just smash‘em" attitude did not serve us well either, despite the forwards persistence at doing so. Saints have most certainly been more physical than we have seen in quite some time. Unfortunately it has taken away the team's more ambitious performances of the previous year and has replaced it with an altogether pragmatic, dull even, no sarries-esque brand of rugby. (Sarries over the last 3 or 4 years have frequently tried the bullyboy approach when things have gotten tough only to have their collective bottoms smacked by a bunch of bigger boys who invariably have a better kicker)

tupai irish We moved on to an early trip to Sale, where a titanic battle of wills took place and the spoils went to the team who were fortunate enough not to get caught in the act. So that wasn't us then. Most memorable for Mr. Tupai's late hit from the side of a ruck, it has actually turned out to something a quirky analogy for the season. It was late, hard and implausibly stupid.

A visit to Franklins Gardens from Bath gave Saints their second home win in what turned out to be probably the Saints finest performance of the season. It was at the very least the only occasion that we played a side that we looked much, much better than for large parts of the game. As well as Mike Seniors infamous Christian Short 2 2006 accusations of racism against Sharky Robinson (remember that eh? Who'd of thought it would be nothing more than a speck on the ocean of the season at the time....) it was also the game where it became quite clear that Christian Short was the answer to the clubs problems in the middle of the lineout. Taking on Borthwick and Grewcock is one thing, getting the better of them, now that's something completely different.

From here is where things get a bit unpleasant, so I'm going to try and do it quick, like pulling off a plaster...

The following week saw a trip to castle grim, and it made for grim reading as the Saints took on Glaws, were beating them at their own game for a time and then disaster strikes...

brucerun While it is clear to most, if not all, that Clarkie was a massive loss to the function of the backline, losing Bruce was the cherry on the poop sundae that was our season. We lost Bruce until March and with him went all our momentum.

Deep breath, here goes. And a one, two, three...

We snuck a win against Wuss, whilst at their lowest ebb. That was a bright spot as it was followed by three loses on the bounce to the Dragons, the Tigers, Beer n' Chips.

That was followed by a win against Border Reivers in the European Cup.

Then back to losing ways with a pathetic performance against Quins at the Stoop.

The week after a tight away loss against Wuss that helped to put wheels back on their wagon.

The freefall, and lets face it, that's what it was, was furthered by proper spankings at the hands of Saracens and (not) London (not) Irish.

We now reached December and had a ‘dead rubber' against the old enemy to contend with. Mind you I would like to point out, quite matter of factly that when Alan Solomons found himself in this position, almost exactly the same, he was shown the door.
Budge 2 2006
What did we do? Well we took a great big wee all over the legacy of Budge Pountney...

Sorry, sorry, back to the sado-masochism....

Yep, we beat them there Tigers at FG and a star was born. Stephen Myler went from being asked "who are you then? " By supporters to suddenly being asked "So when do you expect an England call up Smyler?" Zero to hero in 3.5 seconds. Stephen had a great game, a truly great game. Mind you, so did Ben Lewitt, and we didn't see him again until March did we?

All of a sudden young Stephen had the world on his shoulders, here was a young man who had beaten the tigers almost single handedly, and surely he was the man to lead us towards the upper echelons of the premiership. Hey, it happened last year right?

Erm...

But Stephen was not the only lad making waves as Dylan Hartley returned from injury to cause such waves that even Steve Thompson, the lord of all undroppables, started looking at his options. Hartley has impressed many with his bullocking runs and clever offloads, not to mention his ability to show up at the right place at the right time within 3 meters of the goal line and trundle over from short distance.

But Dyl is a young man too, as we have seen in the last few weeks, a very young man.

On a personal note, I watch the hookers more than most and I can see unquestionably that Dyl has bags of talent. But I can also see massive holes in his game too. Patience and time are needed with him. But it does not in any way excuse his actions against Wasps a few weeks back. But again, below you will find plenty of folks waxing lyrical on that debacle....

Still, for me another low point of the season that was easily avoidable...

Right then hold your breath and clench your buttocks for more reminders of bad times...

The Saints capitalized on the momentum earned by beating the Tigers by putting together our one and only winning run of the season. We walloped Overmach Parma, twice, in the European cup and then Saints supporters welcomed a wonderful early Christmas present as the boys performed superbly, and Wasps did everything they could not to win, on a dank and foggy Friday evening at FG.

Saints saw in Christmas with some degree of optimism...

It lasted exactly 3 days.

Saracens once more handed out a pasting to a poor Saints team, poorly selected, poorly prepared. Poor, poor, poor...

And it got even poorer.

In comparisons of poorness the Saints performance at Home to Wuss on New Years day was the equivalent of 15 Timeshare Salesmen selling apartments in Harare. A narrow one point loss set out the stall for the New Year. There was no turning back now; other teams like Bath, Quins and Newcastle were beginning to turn it around. Saints on the other hand were a predictable team and bland to watch. The ambition of the previous season almost completely gone replace with dithering out wide, a complete lack of self belief and most prominently a desire to have a punch up with all and sundry around the side of rucks and mauls.

This was never so evident than in the home game against Bristol. It wasn't a game of rugby, it was a pub fight. Having successfully dumped Borders out of the European cup and then gone through the motions of losing to Beer and Chips without having to unduly embarrass the clubs name, the Saints found themselves going toe to toe with the biggest and baddest in the land. The pack of Bristol is fearsome. They had also not shown up in the first half....

Someone might have thought to remind the Chairman of this. His half time comments not only made him looks foolish but certainly made me question his rugby knowledge as it was patently clear to all and sundry that Bristol's "just enough" brand of rugby hand not even begun to show its self...

An 8 points to 14 loss made Uncle Keith look a right plonker. Though not as big a plonker as Mr. Davey, who seemed determined to allow any manner of dirty play to go completely unpunished through out the one of the most rough and unpleasant displays of "rugby" I had seen for quite some time...

Another battling but bland performance at home to Quins lessened the gap between ourselves and Wuss. This was followed by a superb win against the Tigers of Wellbad rd. As Sharky and his cohorts rejoiced at the slaying of the tigs home record, Ben Cohen gave an interview to Sky. Ben was full of humility, full of pride, but fully aware that this victory was just a short step on the stairway to survival....

And so it proved...

Other than the fabled win in Biarritz, Saints went through the final month of the season on auto pilot, looking for bonus points, not offering much in the way of entertaining or even enterprising rugby, just getting by. If you were a sadist enough to look around at other sites after the dreaded final day you may have noticed many folks asking the same question,

With players like that, how did they go down?

The answer is the same today as it was on the opening day of the season.

"You still have to play as a team..."

So here we are with the opening questions....

Best Opposing Supporters?

Unsurprisingly the big winner is our friends from Biarritz. But not without some surprising entries...

"Stuart Barnes and Dewi Morris"
‘The three Borders fans who could be bothered to drive all the way to Edinburgh."
‘'Has to be Biarritz, hospitality and friendship just the same when we lost as when we won"
"By far and away, the travelling support from SW France, yep, the proud Basque people from Biarritz, over 100 made the journey from a lovely part of the world to, erm, Northampton, stood with them after the game superb support."

Best Away Ground?

San Sebastian. But here are some of the best bits...

"As I also live in a semi-derelict concrete and soulless piss-riddled shithole, I'm going to use a combination of Eurovision-style 'bloc voting' and some Eastern European Solidarno's and vote for Vicarage Road. As I imagine this will be the first time the venue has ever received a vote in this section of the poll do I win a free pizza? Has to be San Sebastian - all right, it was only Biarritz's for a day, but what a day... only went to one away ZP game, wonder why??
"Parma's place. Great hotdogs, cheep beer, good weather, result not too bad."
"Stade Aguilera in Biarritz, a good quality, old fashioned ground a short walk away from the town"
"Unfair really, but has to be San Sebastian, but if it's ZP only, then The Stoop holds out as the best ground for supporters and poseurs who wish to stroll up and down in front of the stands. The service at the bars makes the Rodbar look a dole queue."

Most Improved Saint?

Close one this, between Dyl the golden boy who dropped the ball or gouged the eye (delete as appropriate) and Digger the golden boy who learnt to catch it.....

"Dylan the Ophthalmic Optician."
"Dylan Hartley, had Wally regained fitness there would be no guarantees that he would have regained his place. Hartley's conduct lets him down somewhat, but to be honest I don't see too many other contenders, no one has really burst through like JC last year, though how many were given the opportunity to do so?"

"D Hartley will be great when he's got his discipline sorted."
"Paul Diggin for guts and spirit in abundance."
"Steve Thompson - only joking.''
‘'Digger...more confident under the high ball."
"Digger, closely followed by Daveed, though he was pretty good to begin with, just never given a fair shot"
"Paul Diggin. Since whatever Grayson said to him earlier in the season seems to have sunk in. Moving to fullback has turned him from a good academy prospect to a good clubman. Hopefully he can turn himself into a Midlands version of Billy Whizz."
"There isn't too many who could honestly say that they did improve this season. The obvious answer would be Dylan Hartley but he rather blotted his copybook with some rank stupidity at the end of the season, so I'll plump for Ben Lewitt even if he only did get a chance to show it when it was way too late."

Dead heat there, we just could not split them, mainly because Lou wouldn't count my vote twice because I'm bigger than her...

Ref for the Season?

Strangely only one vote for George Clancy, I know, I know, baffled me too....

"Very under whelmed again this season, can't make a choice. It would have to be Mr White for controversy." Still Spreaders. "Think Rosey's quite good. Pearson is a fat barrel. Barnes is a knob (be that Stuart or Wayne.) Is "Clive Norling" still around?!"
"I feel like a turkey voting for best sauce to accompany Christmas dinner with this one! Strangely enough I think I'll say Wayne Barnes! Haven't seen much of Spreaders this season, who is my usual favourite and Barnes has actually shown a huge improvement. Hopefully he has now developed a genuine feel for the game that will not wane as it has with some who pass through this stage of development and go on to exhibit massive egos."

But more frequently than not, folks wrote something similar to this...

"Chris White, he is about the best in the world IMO. Always on top of the game but you seldom notice him; he has a real feel for the game."

Which departee will we miss the most?

Christian Labit won plenty of friends; even those with long memories couldn't help but think of Wally...

"Dare I say Wally and for all the wrong reasons. If the rumours are true that he's been causing problems..."
"I still cannot believe we were stupid enough to let Sam Harding go.''

Some nice things written about Danny too, (cheques are in the mail folks)

"Like Rob hunter before him, Dan Richmond should have been kept on to bring the young lads in the Wanderers through"
"Dan Richmond, great servant, totally undervalued. Deserved better. (And I'm not saying that because of you Rob, I mean every word.)"

Which newcomer will have the most impact?

Those with Sky that can put up with Eddie and Stevo think the club are on to something with Mr Ashton...

"I don't know about impact, but I look forward to seeing how Chris Aston develops. "
"Deceptive, we should be a big fish in a small pond so everyone should be making a bigger impact next season. If our thinking is not sorted out then we may be lucky to be promoted at the end of the season. On current evidence unless Knee-jerk does sign I don't think we've signed anyone who will set the world on fire (and given our position since Christmas this probably is not a surprise either)."
"Chris Ashton, finally a saint with some gas...''
"Chris Ashton, future England full back there."

If you could change one thing about this season, what would it be?

No clear winner here. But essentially turkeys don't vote for Christmas do they?

" Well, to state the obvious, the finishing 12th bit... "

"That maybe we could have won a few games."
"Everyone waking up and smelling the coffee about six months earlier. I thought we were doomed as early as Bonfire Night - why didn't anyone else see the signs?"
"Does everything count as one thing? The rub of the green? The bounce of the ball? The lack of a clear simple all embracing rugby strategy emanating from last year's close season"
"Dylan and sharky fail to butcher the pushover try v sale so we get 2 more points and Wuss go down."
"Going back to the start of the season I would of encouraged saints' supporters to have a whip round to buy Grayson a backbone"
"There are far too many ifs and buts here - But narrowing it down to one pivotal event - Bruce's injury - deprived us of a great deal which might have made some critical differences to some results."

Who would you have as next season's captain?

Everyone loves the bruiser...

‘Steve Thompson - only joking."
"Stick with Brucie, but we need an out and out leader of men in the pack"
"BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE"

Several folks said that mind,

One word to sum up our 2006/07 season?

One poster recommended that I pick up my copy of the Roger Mellie's ‘Profanosaurus" from Viz and pick a word at random, as it turned out, I needed it to work out what others were saying...

(And if anyone knows what a "jockeys coffin" is, feel free to let me know)

W@nk - and if this question manages to gain a single answer that the swear filter doesn't remove I will be amazed.

"CR@P"
"Cr@ptastic"
"Bum!"

And one that wasn't quite so rude, but still unpleasant,

"Backstabbing"

Impressions on the academy's progress?

"I can do quite a good Charlie Beech but only after two bottles of Lambrini and half a pack of Richmond menthols."
"The academy will never improve whilst we keep changing our style of play and coaching every six months, to produce what you need firstly you need to know what it is you want."
"They seem to have a good management team for the Academy and things seem to be improving. Others are far more qualified to answer than me."
"It seems to be going in the right direction. 2007/2008 season will show if we're going to get any long lasting results when we hopefully give some of them a run out in the "easier" games."
"Green shoots of recovery, assuming the support continues I'm beginning to have optimism"
"The two results against Leicester's academy show the way we are heading."
"A definite improvement, with solid systems in place. I hear there is to be a big clearout and hopefully this is a sign of confidence in the future not past failure. we must realise it's a work in progress and we have ground to make up , but from what I've seen it is run efficiently and works, unlike some parts of the playing side of the club"
"Rob is a hard taskmaster; it would seem he has no time for shirkers. Some lads have looked good for the Wandies, have they shown the same application and attitude in training? Hmm...

We are still not very deep in players mind...Could see us putting an awful lot of faith in one boy..."'

"More scouting at local levels, as you may know, I am involved in 'grass roots' Rugby, and pro clubs expect talent to come seeking them out, rather than making the effort to turn out on a Sunday morning to look at raw talent. Scouts should be at all major junior games (The U14's school county final was held two weeks ago, surely there should have been a Saints scout taking notes?)"

Saints and Sinners message board is a dull and lifeless place without...

On the whole, everyone enjoys Eifion, not many appreciate him, some even respect him, but no one ignores him.

"The articles. It's still the site's principal strength and it was good to see some new contributors this year. I don't know how to encourage more, but it would be nice to see this trend continue, more authors and more stories, though I don't suggest placing a front page report if someone, somewhere, wearing a piece of clothing in one of the club's colours, farts, like they do on the Quins site.''
"Broonie, Ajack & Oddshapedballs,''
"Bob Fossil (we need some more multi-choice quizzes!) Redsaint (for the sheer barbed wit), Saintsby and Old Pete for providing touches of reality, Lom, for being Lom, Lou, for her contribution."
"The scintillating wit and repartee of the Offy board."
"Eifion's seamless passing off the left hand"
"Amongst others, Broonie, Ajack, Master Richmond and OSB for their fascinating insight into the game, mentioned in despatches, Chris and Bleach for their dry sense of humour, making me laugh out loud on occasions and Saintsby, for being the Pie eating clown, of whom I share a very similar sense of humour with. "
"Eifion, when its dull and lifeless you can always rely on him to Bring home the bacon."

Best preview?

Like the Highlander movies, there can be only one...

Honorable mentions abound...

"Special mention for Shaddo's comments/preview that instigated Eifion's wrath..."
"Maverick before Biarritz - what a classic piece of fortune telling!"

But it had to be Redsaints attack on the "Not Nots"

"The one where Redsaint referred to Llanelli as "a Dyfed toilet which adds an L to it's name every time another name enters the gene pool" (or words to that effect.) "
"Broadband subscription- 20 pounds
New mouse - 15 pounds
Ticket to the madstad- 24 pounds
Leons attack on the not nots? Priceless"
"Red Saint - London Irish. A wonderful put down of the Irish - my favourite quote:
"Finally, as my use of a couple of pairs of inverted commas to surround the words "London" and "Irish" was once described as "bile", can I just apologise for anyone I may have upset by referring to "London" "Irish" as the Notnots. I know the full name of the club is London Irish Scottish Richmond, and I therefore should have used the official name of Notnotnotnots."
And what is a "not not" not?
Irish!!!
‘Awight at the back?"

Best match report?

Some flashes of brilliance, some flashes of horror, and no I'm not talking about Ryan Lamb....

"I don't know if it was the best but I certainly enjoyed St Flintstones first contribution. I have enjoyed reading all the pieces from those that are brave enough to write them. Thanks everyone.''
"The one when we beat Leicester Tigers. I just love reading about it!"

But the Tom Waits award for summing up the misery goes to ...

"Stockers, pick one any one..."

"Stockers - Bristol v London Irish. An emotional day for our resident Captain of the Jetsco Yacht,"
"Andy Blowers! I ask you! To see that ultimate Saints man, the man for whom the saying was probably invented, set up a try against us and play his well known game at the base of the pack was hard to take. He's as good as he ever was and the crying shame is he isn't still at Saints. We need a leader like that. "
"All are good in their own way, Stockers reports make me smile, how reporters see so much more than I do never ceases to amaze me, but all reports have been better than some in the (so called) pro media."

"Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Paul Ackford, you... you,"..." * consults the Roger Mellie's ‘Profanosaurus'* Dagenham handshake! (no, I have no idea either)

So that's part one done and dusted, part two will arrive in two weeks, followed shortly after by the dreaded blame game. Despite persistent encouragement to get that ball moving, bloody Scottish lawyers!

The one thing we would ask that posters do not reply with words of thanks or congratulation on the article, we don't so that its discussed, not brushed under the carpet. So please take a leaf out of one or two regular posters book, talk about it, discuss it, fight about it, whatever, just don't ignore it...

Cheers! (& Ciao Ciao)

Rob and Lou

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