ESHER vs. NORTHAMPTON SAINTS

NL1 – SATURDAY 16^th FEBRUARY, 2008 – 3pm

MATCH PREVIEW

Yeah verily, for ‘tis true, the Saints did march on last weekendingtide defeating the mighty foe of the Knights of Doncaster and their foul Bishop of the Just. And they didst smite their foes with much furious anger as they unleashed the bane of the League that is Number One in England who shall henceforth be known as the “The Ghost”. And it came to pass that the one labelled ‘Snake Charmer’ by St Rich was martyred. After the smiting, those hoping to hear the proclamations of “we wuz robbed” from the Bishop were left distraught as he deigned not to talk to the waiting scribes (ye olde pigeons at the ready). A mole of African origin in the vicinity of the home changing room  didst say “I understand that the Bishop is busy performing the miracle of removing the skid marks from his disciples under crackers, and what a great miracle it is, for the marks are great, although his tears of hurt seems to be doing the trick.”

And the Saints didst march south, stopping briefly at the citadel that is Franklin’s Gardens of the Pleasure to refresh the horses, and then onwards through the green swathes of this land until they reachéd the site of their next battle. To Ershamton and the massed ranks of Esher.

And they found that the villagers of that quaint parish were surprisingly chippy. Lord Inver of the Dale didst pronounce, “We are not afeared!

“Our pack willst stand strong against the Northampton brutes and it willst be here that our advantage shallst be gained. And we shall stand tall and shallst deny the Noble Spencer the ball and he shall fail to weave his sorcery. And if we are most lucky we shallst not get stuffed by more than 60.

“For it is written in the book of Cyril that it is unjust to try and make remedy for our shortcomings and use the Saintly Papal Parachute as a feeble excuse. For when the Saintly backs run riot after 50 minutes and our gallant foot soldiers grow weary from their toil and chase the shadows of black, green and gold, past, present and future, we shallst continue to play rugbye and give of our best. We may be as sick as a parakeet but we shallst remain proud”

And the world listened to the Lord Inver of the Dale and his word was good.

And so the disciples of the Lord Mallinder and Lady Doreen prepared to sally forth wearing their favours on their sleeves. Much spirit would be partaken and much hollering would ensue as battle commenced and though the journey to Ershamtonshire wouldst be arduous, the faithful were prepared.

Travelling from afar, by motor carriage of varying size, flying bird and ass, they would girdst their loins and with hearty bellows urge their team to great exploit. In the battle itself, the Lords Knight and Burridge shallst be shouting “try!” more often then Jonathan Davies doest cry “numbers!” and Saints shallst emerge triumphant.

And the Lord Mallinder shallst bring home his spent charges to great exultation with the five points safely clutched close to the Lady Doreen’s bosom and Saints willst be one step closer to The Promised Land.

And all shallst be well.

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