MY PERFECT COUSIN?

Well, here we are, in the deepest of the deep, dark depths of the off-season and the start of the Aviva Premiership season seems a long, long way away.

As a rule I enjoy most sport so I’ve passed my time watching some cricket, a little golf and a couple of nut-cases named Mahut and Isner at Wimbledon. Very pleasant. Of course, the sporting behemoth which has dominated the back pages has been the football World Cup which I thought would just pass me by but having a couple of round-ball loving basket-cases for friends, I was slowly drawn into the event.

First things first, this is not intended as an article about football per se. It’s just my look at the biggest sport in the world and what I believe it can learn from its 15 man a-side gobby cousin. There seemed to be so many incidents in South Africa which could have been handled so much better if the football authorities had adopted some of the practices employed in rugby union. So, where to start?

Let’s kick-off with one of the basics. Timing. I was listening to Radio 5 Live’s broadcast of Portugal’s goalless bore-fest with Brazil and the commentators were struggling (like me) to stay awake. The fourth official held up the “added minutes” board at the end of normal time and indicated perhaps another four. “Lord, help us!” cried Alan Green, “just put us out of our misery!” It’s a situation we see time and time again in the high profile matches with managers bemoaning either, a) the lack of extra minutes or b) where in heaven’s name did they find that time from? Surely, the simple solution is the countdown clock as used in our rugby Premiership and also Rugby League. The referee signals time off and on for all major incidents and everyone knows where they stand.

This is going to be all about technology isn’t it? Probably. Frank Lampard scores a stunner just before half-time against Germany to bring a poor England team level only for it to be ruled no-goal as Sir deems it hasn’t crossed the line. In fact, the only people in the Free State Stadium who didn’t see the goal was good were the officials. But here’s the thing. How long after the ball had crossed the line had we seen replays telling us it was a legitimate score – 10 seconds? Opponents of the video referee system argue that it would take too much time to get the play reviewed. Tosh! Sir peeps “time off” and we go upstairs. There is so much at stake at the highest level of all sport that if systems are available then they must be used.

The video referee would also have come into play when Ghana’s hearts were broken by the cynical goal-line hand ball of Uruguay striker Luis Suarez. Yes, the player was sent-off, yes Ghana had a penalty opportunity but isn’t there a case for a penalty goal to be awarded in instances such as this? A player has illegally stopped a certain goal (insert “try” for Union) and the referee should have the power to punish the offender accordingly. It’s not as if the penalty try law is used that often. How many times did Northampton Saints earn such a try last season – 3, perhaps 4 times is my uneducated guess. A similar law in football would be used even less, perhaps once a season.

Of course, the video referee isn’t perfect, just ask Soane Tonga’huia.

The other thing that caused me to start thinking about this article was the Final itself and how it would have been refereed differently in a Union match. I refer of course to the sin-bin. Howard Webb had a thankless task given Holland’s thuggish tactics against a Spain side trying to play football. Indeed, I expect to see a grubby lorry bearing the legend “I wish my wife was as dirty as the Dutch football team” any day now. Mr Webb had booked five players within the first 28 minutes of the game but his use of the cards didn’t seem to change the mindset of the men in orange. My argument would be that if the first two of those bookings had led to a ten-minute spell in the sin-bin then perhaps the game wouldn’t have spun away from Mr Webb’s grasp. Don’t get me wrong, I think he did a fine job. I just believe that being able to give offenders a spell on the sidelines would have made his life easier.

It seems to me that, unlike Rugby Union, League, cricket and tennis, Association Football is averse to change. FIFA President Sepp Blatter argues that football should be the global sport, played under the same rules everywhere from Wembley to depths of Papua New Guinea. It’s a noble aim but it is just not practical at the top end of the game. If someone (me) for whom football is not “a matter of life and death” (it’s far less important than that) can see the need for innovation then why can’t the authorities? In Rugby Union, the high-end matches make full use of the technology available but if it's an Old Clungefarts XV taking on another local side on the Racecourse of a weekend then they just get on with it and nobody complains. 

To end, and for the sake of balance, I’ve been trying to think of what Rugby Union can learn from football to improve it as a game and spectacle and, do you know what, I can’t think of anything.

Discuss.

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