Quantcast

News: Cockerill Unveiled As New Saints Coach


By ComeOnYouSaints.com
April 1 2014

Northampton Saints today confirmed that Richard Cockerill will become their new Director of Rugby for the 2014/15 season, replacing Jim Mallinder who is to take up the position of England head coach for the foreseeable future.

 

 

 

embargoed until 00.00, Tuesday

 

 

 

COCKERILL TO BE NEW NORTHAMPTON SAINTS COACH

 

Northampton Saints today confirmed that Richard Cockerill will become their new Director of Rugby for the 2014/15 season, replacing Jim Mallinder who is to take up the position of England head coach for the forseeable future.

Speaking at a closed press conference on Monday evening, Saints' chairman, Tony Hewitt said: "With Jim moving on to the England job, we are delighted that Dick is joining us next season. We can't think of a better person to fill Jim's boots even if the boots are a little squishy following an unfortunate incident with a stripy mongrel invading the home dressing room sometime prior to last weekend's game.

Upon the announcement of his new role, Mr Cockerill said: "I'm really looking forward to getting to grips with quality players for the first time in a quite a while. It's all very well working with journeymen who can occasionally play above their pay-scale but now I'll be endlessly shouting at first-class units. And I've had enough of being known as Cockers. It's all a bit cricket, isn't it? You know, Aggers, Johnners, Blowers - it's all a bit naff. Just call me The Cock and be done with it."

Mr Hewitt went on to ask The Cock if he would be bringing any players with him over the summer but Dick replied in the negative. However, he did say, "we do have a cute physio called Wendy in the back-room staff - I think she may be one I'll bring with me".

When asked for a response to this surprise decision, the ComeOnYouSaints.com designated spokesman, Mr Eifion Jones said: "Well, he's no Dai Young or Phil Davies but if we can't secure the services of Dai Bando of Llaruggub WRFC, then I suppose he'll have to do".

Following this managerial merry-go-round, Mr Stuart Lancaster is expected to take up the role of Leicester Tigers DOR in the summer. Regular LeicesterTigers.com contributor, Wils, was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.

 

 

 

View a Printer Friendly version of this Story.

Bookmark or share this story with:

News: Cockerill Unveiled As New Saints Coach
Discussion started by ComeOnYouSaints.com , 01/04/2014 00:00
ComeOnYouSaints.com
01/04/2014 00:00
What do you think? You can have your say by posting below.
If you do not already have an account Click here to Register.

StBleach
01/04/2014 04:55
Amazed that this story hasnt broken nationally yet.. Not sure how i feel, good for England i guess. The Cock will no doubt impose himself on the team which is not a bad thing. Sad loss for Leicester.

St Marlowe
01/04/2014 05:45
As a condition of his contract I understand he will be moving to the Shire and re-signing Ryan Lamb

David L

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

- Live wrong and preposterously

ChrisG
01/04/2014 07:13
Very good!

St_Bart
01/04/2014 07:35
And in a later press release it was confirmed that Wayne Barnes would also join Saints as Legal Advisor to the team captain

Saint Tub
01/04/2014 07:51
This not asking for "well you might win something?"

Howling Howler
01/04/2014 07:59
The best April 1st stories are funny . This is not even faintly amusing - just a nightmare !

grumpyoldsaint
01/04/2014 08:01
He'd need a set of wheels and some seats to turn him into a coach!

Saint Tim
01/04/2014 08:43
grumpyoldsaint (Sm22)

http://www.smurfomatic.plus.com/sttim.gif

“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”

Benjamin Franklin

Tetleys Block F E143

Stockers
01/04/2014 09:00
Tee Hee!

tigerburnie
01/04/2014 09:23
Not bad at all, does he start with immediate effect to try and salvage your season?......................(Sm100)

Alphonse the Dog
01/04/2014 09:41
Splendido!

Flinstone Saint
01/04/2014 09:47
Chortle, chortle. Nice one.

----------------------------------------

Please sponsor me for Saints with Heart [www.justgiving.com]

ChrisG.
01/04/2014 10:05
Nope it will never do! We want the foul languaged, frothy mouthed, temple vein bursting Cockers not the apologetic agreeable shrinking violet he's been of late.

riverlodge
01/04/2014 10:31
Apparently 2,000 grumpy pitbull facemasks have just been put up for sale on ebay by a number of sellers in Licefestershire.

saintsemma
01/04/2014 11:19
Lol love it - dylan would just love that !!!!!

bartonman
01/04/2014 12:02
A later announcement says that Dylan has resigned the Captaincy and has gone into a monastery with Tom Youngs.They were both last seen walking up the Welford Road holding hands and skipping together



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014:04:01:18:41:50 by bartonman.

Saint Tim
01/04/2014 12:09
I am surprised they could hold hands - what with Dylans shoulder hanging off and TY nursing a hand with a substantially missing digit winking smiley

http://www.smurfomatic.plus.com/sttim.gif

“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”

Benjamin Franklin

Tetleys Block F E143

Alphonse the Dog
01/04/2014 12:44
Twas Tom that is digitally challenged whereas Bartonman stated Ben...

At least he didn't take him up the aisle....

ChrisG
01/04/2014 13:32
TY can afford to lose an extra digit or two, he's from Holt

ChrisG
01/04/2014 13:39
Story now the most read article on News Nows rugby feed

choppa
01/04/2014 14:13
As if we'd ever be able to attract a coach of that calibre. Cockerill is a winner, not a bridesmaid like our lot.

Rich W
01/04/2014 18:12
Most amusing! Best I've seen today. Ta!

...

Phil.
01/04/2014 23:11
Blimey, over 3200 views in less than 24 hours!

Thank you for your kind words, good people, it's really appreciated - I'd had the idea in my head for most of yesterday but didn't start scribbling until about 11.15pm hence it's a bit rough and ready but as it's just a bit of fun I think can be forgiven...

"It's not the despair, Saints, I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand."

ChrisG.
01/04/2014 23:15
You mean its not true and you made this up Phil!

(Good stuff mate)

Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
We record all IP addresses on the Sportnetwork message boards which may be required by the authorities in case of defamatory or abusive comment. We seek to monitor the Message Boards at regular intervals. We do not associate Sportnetwork with any of the comments and do not take responsibility for any statements or opinions expressed on the Message Boards. If you have any cause for concern over any material posted here please let us know as soon as possible by e-mailing abuse@sportnetwork.net