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OT Coronavirus Humour
Discussion started by lechef , 20 March, 2020 16:17
OT Coronavirus Humour
lechef 20 March, 2020 16:17
It's obviously serious but we Brits can laugh in the face of adversity right.

Here are a couple of items that I spotted on pub blackboards strangely enough;

This morning everybody at John Lennon Airport has been quarantined.
Imagine...... all the people.

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS

John Travolta was isolated today with suspected Covid 19.
He had chills
They were multiplying
And he was losing control

But Doctors can now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they have assured his fans that he is definately Stayin Alive.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
harlequinade 21 March, 2020 00:12
Doing lots of long walks My Wife says its good to get out. She cheered me up though. She said that if we are quarantined together for 6 months its very unlikely that it will be the coronavirus that kills me!



Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 22 March, 2020 11:17
I have stockpiled books, I have just finished one about Roger Mortimer, when they strung him up they cut out his entrails while still alive, cut off his privy parts and asked him if he wanted them fried or boiled. Currently reading about Mary Queen of Scots, next one is about Anne Boleyn and I have The King Over The Water and Invasion to go

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Tiggs 22 March, 2020 11:24
Going through my vast collection of Rugby books, mainly Tigers related, and John Glashan to lighten the mood.



http://v4admin.sportnetwork.net/upload/103/103_0_1529059667.jpg



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 22/03/2020 16:16 by Tiggs.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Tom Paine 22 March, 2020 12:25
Here's a nice little story from my daughter who's a primary school teacher. After the closure was announced a large number of parents claimed to be key workers and would therefore be continuing to send their kids to school. Now it's quite a small school and the Head tends to know most of the families. So she rang those parents who were not health workers to inform them that their beloved children would be sharing a classroom with the offspring of health workers (the local hospital is just round the corner) who would most likely be infected by their parents and would therefore pass it on to the other children who would take it home. Suddenly a lot of parents decided that they could manage their children at home after all.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
ChrisC 22 March, 2020 12:27
The law of unintended consequences at its best!

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Hammer 22 March, 2020 12:33
I heard that due to the Covid-19 virus in Germany people are stocking up with sausage and cheese. They're preparing for the Würst Käse scenario.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
RushdenTiger (KT at work) 22 March, 2020 14:58
Quote:
Idle
I have stockpiled books, I have just finished one about Roger Mortimer, when they strung him up they cut out his entrails while still alive, cut off his privy parts and asked him if he wanted them fried or boiled

At least they gave him a choice.

It does sound like one of those masterchef episodes that they had to drop.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
arh53 23 March, 2020 11:24
Quote:
RushdenTiger (KT at work)
Quote:
Idle
I have stockpiled books, I have just finished one about Roger Mortimer, when they strung him up they cut out his entrails while still alive, cut off his privy parts and asked him if he wanted them fried or boiled

At least they gave him a choice.

It does sound like one of those Masterchef episodes that they had to drop.

Deep fried is obviously best, would be just like a Chinese spring roll and sweet and sour pork balls.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/03/2020 14:46 by arh53.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 23 March, 2020 15:29
Got started on our overgrown back garden today, managed to cut down two trees. Its s bit awkward with this cath. when you are on the top branch and made friends with next doors cat

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
tigersimon 24 March, 2020 10:33
just asked the wife to put the nurses uniform on she said why you feeling horny no i said......................












we need bread.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 24 March, 2020 12:04
Tried it myself but the Cath. wriggles around too much

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
ttbb 24 March, 2020 13:55
Scotland has also gone into lockdown


apparently Alex Salmond has just been let out

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 24 March, 2020 14:41
just been for a walk round the great,or Upper Lake, the first time since I went into hospital. Passed Sainsbury's on the way and went inside to see if they had any t. rolls, I picked up a roll and the lady said I could have 3, I said I don't need 3,1 will suffice but she said I was a vulnerable person so should have 3, in the end we settled on 2. Also spotted a contradiction in Govt. Advice, Sainsbury,s has 2 auto. bank m/c which they have closed down so now when we have to draw money out of the bank we have to catch a bus into W/ton!.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Yorkie 25 March, 2020 19:02
But cash is a big transmitter as the virus survives for a long time on (metal) coins and (plastic) bank notes. Should be using contactless cards for paying for stuff.



http://www.jakehowlett.com/tuckshop/wrappers/chocolate/plain/yorkie-nutter.jpg

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 26 March, 2020 11:29
Yes, when you can but some bills require a transfer of funds but I can't do it here now so I have go to a bank that can

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
ChrisC 26 March, 2020 14:56
Don't you have online banking set up then?

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
IDLETIMES 26 March, 2020 15:49
No

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Tom Paine 28 March, 2020 13:50
[From the wonderful Marina Hyde] Don't know why Americans have started buying so many more guns during the coronavirus outbreak; has no one told them that the schools are closed.

Re: OT Coronavirus Humour
Mrs H 28 March, 2020 15:02
I’m just trying to keep up with all the funnies sent on WhatsApp

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