Latest news:

The COML Message Board

The place for discussion, debate and nonsense about Bath Rugby.

Join our new Facebook Group today!

New visitors please read the house rules before posting

Test your prognostications at our Prediction League


What a sad world...
Discussion started by Dorset Boy (IP Logged), 17 February, 2020 21:17
DorsetBoy
Dorset Boy
17 February, 2020 21:17
How can F'wits abuse Danny C for grieving?

well done Gloucester though.

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
17 February, 2020 21:57
Appalling, imagine missing a call and then finding the caller killed herself. What would you think!
I know social media is part of the 21st century but its like a hard drug once you are on it its so difficult not to let it wreck your life. So glad I'm not on it.

Lets hope it doesn't scramble his head!



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

ballsout
ballsout
17 February, 2020 23:16
I love social media, but I also hate it. It's done some great things, and some terrible things for society. This is a clear example of the latter.

gaz59
gaz59
18 February, 2020 07:39
Your title for this thread db is spot on. The whole story is so tragic and just highlights human vulnerabilities in so many ways especially when you add in the excesses and expectations of celebrity wealth

Cipriani also appears to be a fragile soul and should be allowed to grieve without abuse or intrusion. Sounds like he has good teammates around him thankfully

Deckchair
Deckchair
18 February, 2020 09:38
Quote:
shipwrecked
Appalling, imagine missing a call and then finding the caller killed herself. What would you think!
I know social media is part of the 21st century but its like a hard drug once you are on it its so difficult not to let it wreck your life. So glad I'm not on it.

Lets hope it doesn't scramble his head!

News for you Shipwrecked - you are on it. What do you think this site is?

Yes internet has brought many great pluses - but it's social media side is also revealing a dark, nasty and warped mentality in far too many of our fellow citizens to allow for any comfort. It happens for too many reasons to fathom, understand or control but I suspect at its heart lies a toxic swamp of impotence, moral vacuity, rage, invisibility, lawlessness and poor leadership models. And I 'm pretty certain that most have a lonely love life.
I avoid the swamp as much as possible. You just have to keep your distance from the rabid dogs in the gutter and pass on. You certainly don't try and reason with them. Life really is too short.

B4thB4ck
B4thB4ck
18 February, 2020 10:06
Radio 2 discussed the topic yesterday lunchtime. A point was made by one of the listeners that to protect us from the worst comments all social media accounts should be authenticated real names. That way all users are easily identifiable for what they say and less likely to be cruel just for the sake if it.

Not sure even that would work, if you sing on TV and 10,000 people say it was rubbish that is still going to hurt.

I would quite like to be rich but would hate to be in the public eye. The media build you up then knock you down with social media giving you a kicking whilst you are down there.

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
18 February, 2020 10:10
Perhaps Deckchair, but to my mind a moderated Internet forum with behaviour guideline is very different from the often abusive mainstream SM where four letter swear words are common, personal abuse tolerated and even hate and terrorist factions allowed to flourish. Two very different animals.

Had anyone on this board had commented unfavourably on Cipriani's grief the post would more than likely had the post removed. We have 3 moderators who require standards of acceptable behaviour and for that I'm thankful.

The dark mentality you speak of is part of all of us, face to face we apply restraint for fear of disapproval, take away that and the dark side breaks through for some.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

Bathovalballer
Bathovalballer
18 February, 2020 10:37
Why people go on Twitter or other sites to tell other people about their lives etc. is beyond me. I agree some SM has done good, but so much of it is just poisenous and, IMO, should be better policed and shut down to abusers if that was possible.

DC suffering abuse because of his friendship with the deceased and expressing his condolences, is frankly beyond contempt. Someone has died and that person deserves respect. I sometimes wonder what sort of a World we have created.



Adopted player 2019/20 Jonathan 'JJ' Joseph.

The Jink Joseph.

Adopted player 2018/19 Adopted player 2018/19 Semesa 'The Rock' Rokoduguni

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
18 February, 2020 11:06
Yep, +1 agree with all of that BoB.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

MESSAGES->author
Rawce
18 February, 2020 11:25
Very true BoB, and I hope those who have been banned on this very social media site for abuse of players, coaches and club staff hold themselves to the same standards of decency.

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
18 February, 2020 11:39
It's a minefield for kids growing up. I'm sure we all said and did some pretty stupid things when we were young, but nobody filmed them and put them on the internet for anyone to watch and nobody could review our digital footprint and show the world how naive we were. I have this chat pretty much weekly with my teenage children - not that they listen because they have airpods surgically implanted it seems. If they say or do one ill-advised thing it could be with them for years (possibly life?). I'm definitely not a SM fan and would happy to go down the pub and have these same discussions instead...are they open yet?



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

warrenball
warrenball
18 February, 2020 11:42
I understand that Glos have decided to support a mental health initiative and although they are not directly saying it I worry that too often normal feelings of grief or depression are dragged in under the umbrella term of mental health. To my mind I would be more worried about someone's mental health if they did not feel profound sadness and despondency when someone close had died and it seems far too often we do not want to understand that life can often be unhappy. It is also normal sometimes not to 'get over' the death of someone close, it can change your life forever, but again it is not a mental health illness.

MESSAGES->author
Duke of Earl
18 February, 2020 12:54
Agree totally BOB.



Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 18/02/2020 12:54 by Duke of Earl.

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
18 February, 2020 13:42
I like these words of CEO of Glos:

Quote:
We try to look after all of our colleagues. There are some people who think social media means you can say what you like and that it doesn't make any difference.

I don't think that's true. It's OK to be disappointed in a result. It's OK to say you don't think somebody is playing well. It's not OK for personal criticism.

They're people too. They feel things. We all have an obligation to think about what we say and be kind to people.



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

SimonG19
SimonG19
18 February, 2020 13:55
I agree with all the above but wonder why Cipriani felt the need to attack people (in this case the media) on Twitter. It was never going to end well was it?

I'm happy to save I have never tweeted and never intend to.

Bathovalballer
Bathovalballer
18 February, 2020 14:50
Nor have I or will I, Simon. Cannot see the need for it.



Adopted player 2019/20 Jonathan 'JJ' Joseph.

The Jink Joseph.

Adopted player 2018/19 Adopted player 2018/19 Semesa 'The Rock' Rokoduguni

TomReagan
TomReagan
19 February, 2020 00:03
As well as SM I also find the moral outrage of the Sun, railing against the CPS to be contemptible. I recognise that in this day and age people like Caroline Flack have to play the media game-the coverage the Sun gives Love Island is crazy - but the cost seems to be that papers like the Sun think it's then OK to scrutinise your life, pass judgement and hugely influence people's perceptions of people in the spotlight. The Sun went to town on the assault charge, splashed it across their front pages then when Flack, already a vulnerable individual, couldn't take the oppressive intrusion and took her life, they chose to lay all of the blame on the CVS-breathtaking hypocrisy and cynical disingenuity.

warrenball
warrenball
19 February, 2020 08:50
The worrying question when considering cruel or unconsidered remarks on social media is if these are a more real assessment of what the writer actually thinks than the normal social discourse where there are boundaries in place, or do people turn up the volume just to get attention? Considering the average reading age in this country is only 10 years old it is not surprising that the level of discussion on both some social media and in the more trashy papers is so low.

MESSAGES->author
Duke of Earl
19 February, 2020 09:27
My view is that so many people are addicted to social media to share their every moment and experience, and to trashy tv programmes and soaps, that they live their lives vicariously through this rubbish.
In such worlds every thing is either wonderful or terrible with no middle ground, so they think that is how real life is or should be, consequently it is very difficult for some to cope with what every day life throws at you.



Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl

MESSAGES->author
hemington
19 February, 2020 10:22
Shouldn't this be an O/T topic?

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
19 February, 2020 10:54
Quote:
hemington
Shouldn't this be an O/T topic?

The OP is about abuse of a rugby player!



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

nixworld2
nixworld2
19 February, 2020 12:26
Quote:
warrenball
I understand that Glos have decided to support a mental health initiative and although they are not directly saying it I worry that too often normal feelings of grief or depression are dragged in under the umbrella term of mental health. To my mind I would be more worried about someone's mental health if they did not feel profound sadness and despondency when someone close had died and it seems far too often we do not want to understand that life can often be unhappy. It is also normal sometimes not to 'get over' the death of someone close, it can change your life forever, but again it is not a mental health illness.

I don't find this especially helpful, I'm afraid.

Grief, for example, may not be a mental health illness, but it is something that can have an affect on good mental health. Mental health should be considered like physical health- you can be at any sort of place on on a scale of how healthy you are in both cases. Thinking of it just in terms of illness and diagnosis isn't very helpful.

Grief and trauma can cause temporary bad spells in the quality of your mental health which can in learn lead to things like depression. Mental health is a constantly evolving thing. It is far more helpful to consider this as not a binary thing of being "well" one hand and having a clinical diagnosis on the other. Stiff upper lip isn't that helpful and has been proven to be extremely detrimental to diagnosis, treatment and support.

John Tee
John Tee
19 February, 2020 14:03
For me, it is about the effect that someone misses a call and then that caller ends up taking their own life shortly after.
Any normal person would be saying ' what if'

The trolls are beneath contempt...

Never In Doubt
Never In Doubt
21 February, 2020 18:39
I haven't always been a fan of DC but this video is heartbreaking. He is a man who has truly grown up and he has gone up so much in my estimation.

[www.instagram.com]

annie blackthorn
annie blackthorn
21 February, 2020 22:02
Much of the trouble with vicious irresponsible trolling is that facebook, twitter and Instagram are totally unregulated.

On a personal note I belong to several specific interest groups on facebook which are administered voluntarily by the creator. All of them either take down posts, or close 'threads' or somehow prevent offenders from posting. it works well. (I assume that this is what the moderators of this site do). So it can be done.

MESSAGES->author
OutsideBath
22 February, 2020 10:01
Quote:
annie blackthorn
Much of the trouble with vicious irresponsible trolling is that facebook, twitter and Instagram are totally unregulated.

Maybe this latest sad episode might bring some controls to social media trolls? Many famous people have similar issues to regular people, but their issues are played out in public. Equally hard for teenagers these days, not sure social media is entirely good for their health.

Bit OT, but it's topical for me as I'm a huge boxing fan. Tyson Fury had well publicised mental health issues, suffered on social media (trolls wouldn't have made their comments to his face!) and wasn't allowed to recover in peace. To his credit he managed to come through it apparently stronger and stands a fair chance of being a world champion.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 22/02/2020 10:04 by OutsideBath.

MESSAGES->author
hemington
22 February, 2020 11:32
Quote:
OutsideBath
Bit OT, but it's topical for me as I'm a huge boxing fan. Tyson Fury had well publicised mental health issues, suffered on social media (trolls wouldn't have made their comments to his face!) and wasn't allowed to recover in peace. To his credit he managed to come through it apparently stronger and stands a fair chance of being a world champion.

Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke!! What a wonderful example he and all the other boxers set to kids. The hype for ticket sales is obnoxious and does nothing for 'Sport'.

DorsetBoy
Dorset Boy
22 February, 2020 13:09
Please don't hold Tyson Fury up as a positive example - his publicly stated views on many topics are odious, and suffering with mental health issues was no excuse.
Then as Hemington says, you see the lack of respect & sportsmanship boxers show in the build up to fights.

MESSAGES->author
OutsideBath
22 February, 2020 13:16
I’m not endorsing Tyson Fury just using a topical example of someone else famous being abused on social media during their problems.

DorsetBoy
Dorset Boy
22 February, 2020 13:34
At a guess, I assume a significant part of the abuse T Fury received at the time was in response to his odious views that he was putting in the public domain.
Bit like Israel Folau getting abuse for the views he has been publicly expressing.

warrenball
warrenball
23 February, 2020 08:41
Not surprised Fury is being singled out, even Gavin and Stacey are being targeted now as homophobic.

MESSAGES->author
hasta
23 February, 2020 09:26
Eh? Fury isn't singled out. He has stated homophobic, anti-semitic and mysogynistic beliefs multiple times. He was also banned for steroid use.

It's an impressive physical and mental achievement for him to come back and win, but he's certainly no victim.

DorsetBoy
Dorset Boy
23 February, 2020 09:44
Well said Hasta.

Still he's another darling of the BBC.

MESSAGES->author
woodpecker
24 February, 2020 14:25
I make no excuses for Fury and what he said. However, after his previous fight:

Tyson Fury has confirmed he donated his entire £7million purse from his fight against Deontay Wilder to charity. ... Speaking to members of the LA Fire Department, he vowed to donate his entire purse to UK charities to build homes for alcohol and drug addicts at home.11 Feb 2019

SimonG19
SimonG19
24 February, 2020 14:41
I certainly used to think Fury was a vile character but he does seemed to have turned himself around so good luck to him.

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
24 February, 2020 14:44
It was subsequently reported that it was never donated? No idea if it was proven either way tbh.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

MESSAGES->author
woodpecker
24 February, 2020 14:52
I once again make no excuses (well perhaps a teensy bit) (and I dont know if he paid it). However, he may not have had the most liberal, intellectual environment to grow up in:

Fury is of Irish Traveller descent. Despite strongly identifying with his Irish heritage, Fury has had problems in gaining dual citizenship because his father's birth in County Galway was not recorded civilly in the 1960s, as Irish Travellers at the time only recorded births through baptism with the church rather than officially with the state.
Fury left school when he was 11, and joined his father and three brothers tarmacking roads. His mother Amber had 14 pregnancies in total, but only four of the children survived. A daughter, Ramona, was born in December 1997 but died within days. This experience has stayed with Fury, who was just nine years old at the time. Fury began boxing at the age of 10. His father acted as his trainer until 2011, when his father was jailed for gouging out the eye of another Traveller due to a long-standing feud; Fury himself was raised to keep the fighting within the ring and has not had trouble with the law.

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
24 February, 2020 14:59
Certainly nobody to argue that he had a challenging upbringing - not one of privilege anyway. He does now seem to be an inspiration for some of those who have experienced mental health issues and that has to be a positive change.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

warrenball
warrenball
25 February, 2020 10:57
Amusing how we do not expect intellectuals to be able to box, but put boxers and other sports stars under the spotlight for their views, under the rather silly idea they are somehow 'role models'. Leading politicians should be role models (but seldom are) not sportsmen and women

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 February, 2020 11:23
Anyone who has come from a position of adversity (whether that is upbringing or any other challenge) and 'made good' can be a role model surely?



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
25 February, 2020 11:38
Some previous comments were pretty appalling but I did read this recently. Travellers tend to withdraw their children from school at about 11 years old, Fury's wife wanted to do this in keeping with their culture. However, Fury pointed out that they don't travel and don't intend to so they should go to school through to 16.

Very hard to criticise when someone tries to improve life for their family recognising their personal view might stem from lack of information.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

warrenball
warrenball
25 February, 2020 11:39
Yes, Matt,of course they can be a positive example to other people to get on with life, but it is often used in a pejorative sense when people are trying to criticise someone by saying that they should not be allowed to say for do something as they are a 'role model'.

MESSAGES->author
hemington
25 February, 2020 12:04
Kids look up to their sporting heroes and copy their behaviours (e.g. spitting, arguing with refs). That to me makes them a role model and defines the way sports are played at lower levels.

Boxers pushing each other and slagging each other of does not set a good example in any book.

They might be very nice people who have worked very hard to get to where they are now (and are normally very gracious in victory and defeat) but that kind of behaviour in my book is not excusable.

Call me old fashioned - fine

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 February, 2020 12:19
WWE is the worst for all of that stuff...but the crowds lap it up.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

John Tee
John Tee
25 February, 2020 12:36
Quote:
BathMatt53
WWE is the worst for all of that stuff...but the crowds lap it up.

That is just theatre..more akin to love island or somesuch in their quest for viewing figures...
is it anything to do with sport..?

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 February, 2020 13:55
Very thought provoking discussion on Rugby Union Weekly this week about this very topic. Worth a listen.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

MESSAGES->author
Clarkey3k
25 February, 2020 14:29
Quote:
John Tee
Quote:
BathMatt53
WWE is the worst for all of that stuff...but the crowds lap it up.

That is just theatre..more akin to love island or somesuch in their quest for viewing figures...
is it anything to do with sport..?

I can understand why Love Island is commissioned, produced and shown but why anyone chooses to take part and watch is utterly beyond me...



Adopted players: 2019/20 T Faletau; [19] M V Vuuren; [18] T Faletau; [17] D Denton; [16] H. Agulla; [15] L Houston; [14] W Spencer; [13] F. Louw

Family . Community . Nation - [sdp.org.uk]

MESSAGES->author
OutsideBath
25 February, 2020 14:33
One of the many problems with social media is keyboard warriors posting things that they wouldn’t have the guts to say to the individual in person.

Old Bath Tub
Old Bath Tub
25 February, 2020 19:09
In our always-on virtual world , civility doesn’t stand a chance . The way I was brought up, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all, it reminds me , many years ago of our old school motto,
“Manners Maketh Man” although this seems to be increasingly out of fashion. (Sm128)



Adopted Player 2018/19 Ross Batty
Adopted Player 2019/20 Jack Davies

"AN OUNCE OF ACTION IS WORTH A TON OF THEORY"
FRIEDRICH ENGELS

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 February, 2020 19:21
Wasn’t that Kingsman training OBT?



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
25 February, 2020 19:46
Quote:
Old Bath Tub
In our always-on virtual world , civility doesn’t stand a chance . The way I was brought up, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all, it reminds me , many years ago of our old school motto,
“Manners Maketh Man” although this seems to be increasingly out of fashion. (Sm128)

Yep, brought up on the same ethic. (Sm160)



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

Old Bath Tub
Old Bath Tub
25 February, 2020 20:19
Quote:
BathMatt53
Wasn’t that Kingsman training OBT?

Yes it was, also Winchester College.



Adopted Player 2018/19 Ross Batty
Adopted Player 2019/20 Jack Davies

"AN OUNCE OF ACTION IS WORTH A TON OF THEORY"
FRIEDRICH ENGELS

Deckchair
Deckchair
26 February, 2020 09:32
Self-respect is surely at the core of it all. If you can attain and maintain true self-respect, you inevitably come to respect others.
To live and pursue a life that does not shame , degrade or betray one's own core beliefs in honesty, friendship, care, integrity and love is to live with, and by, self respect. If you can't truly find these attributes in yourself, you will not find them in others, nor will you share it.
No troll has self-respect, rather they are infected with self-loathing and must spread their bile and vitriol to ease their pain. Once upon a time they used to do it drunkenly in pubs, now with the internet their infection can be truly viral and anonymous, and more venomous.
A self-respecter ignores them, or simply vacates the room. Life really is to short and too good to waste on the haters.


Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
We record all IP addresses on the Sportnetwork message boards which may be required by the authorities in case of defamatory or abusive comment. We seek to monitor the Message Boards at regular intervals. We do not associate Sportnetwork with any of the comments and do not take responsibility for any statements or opinions expressed on the Message Boards. If you have any cause for concern over any material posted here please let us know as soon as possible by e-mailing abuse@sportnetwork.net