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OT Coronavirus Humour
Discussion started by lechef (IP Logged), 20 March, 2020 16:07
lechef
lechef
20 March, 2020 16:07
It's obviously serious but we Brits can laugh in the face of adversity right.

Here are a couple of items that I spotted on pub blackboards strangely enough;

This morning everybody at John Lennon Airport has been quarantined.
Imagine...... all the people.

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS

John Travolta was isolated today with suspected Covid 19.
He had chills
They were multiplying
And he was losing control

But Doctors can now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they have assured his fans that he is definately Stayin Alive.

Bath Supporter Jack
Bath Supporter Jack
20 March, 2020 17:06
(Sm22)

Very clever

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
20 March, 2020 17:08
I've removed this. Not sure it is appropriate, too sensitive.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 20/03/2020 18:34 by shipwrecked.

P G Tips
P G Tips
20 March, 2020 19:11
You're obviously self- censoring Shipwrecked.

Without going through the middle step of social distance censoring.


PG

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
20 March, 2020 19:37
Yep, no symptoms so it's a prophylactic I guess. Tricky because black humour is very British but in this instance too time sensitive.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

JFPC
JFPC
20 March, 2020 20:00
Most amusing video I've seen involves an off screen voice (I'll call 'narrator') and a man facing the camera.

Narrator: Due to Coronavirus you have to be quarantined but you have two choices.

Man: Ok, what are they?

Narrator: Option A, quarantined with your wife and family, option B,

Man: B! Option B!

P G Tips
P G Tips
20 March, 2020 20:01
Agreed. Fine line to tread.

I enjoyed lechefs jokes though!

PG

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
20 March, 2020 20:11
Fill your boots SW, the thread is clear enough and we could do with a laugh at the moment...itís a bit laugh or cry isnít it?



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

BBWBaaBaa
BBWBaaBaa
20 March, 2020 20:39
There are no "Bad taste jokes", just ones that aren't funny!

Boldangrey
Boldangrey
20 March, 2020 21:47
Starting to look like Saracens will retain the Trophy!

................... oh dear perhaps that's not a joke either?

Boldangrey
Boldangrey
20 March, 2020 21:50
........... and Wales might retain the Six Nations.

Can it get worse?

ouch!_that_hurts
ouch!_that_hurts
21 March, 2020 11:47
I have run out of loo paper and am now using lettuce leaves - it's the tip of the iceberg!

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
22 March, 2020 11:55
https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-1098f1f74de7e3031010c5a0f3ac4960



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

gaz59
gaz59
23 March, 2020 12:20
Starting to get a bit out of [safely washed] hands now!

[www.msn.com]

Could go down well at Sarries though

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
23 March, 2020 14:40

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
23 March, 2020 14:45
Quote:
CoochieCoo
https://youtu.be/uTaUtrZbhqs

Very good Mike, made me laugh! ........... Its not real is it?



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 14:53
I have seen that one, but CC takes the credit this time



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/03/2020 14:53 by Mike the Taxi.

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
23 March, 2020 14:57
Quote:
Mike the Taxi
I have seen that one, but CC takes the credit this time

Sorry CC, Mike put me right, still funny though.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 15:27
[youtu.be] - Coffee; How Much!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 23/03/2020 15:30 by Mike the Taxi.

Bath Supporter Jack
Bath Supporter Jack
23 March, 2020 16:10
One consequence of this social isolating at home is expecting to be a significant uptick in the birth rate in nine months time.

Will these children be known as "coronials"?

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 16:12
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/taisymas-1-5e78b5636c56f__700.jpg

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 16:22
Quote:
Bath Supporter Jack
One consequence of this social isolating at home is expecting to be a significant uptick in the birth rate in nine months time.
Will these children be known as "coronials"?


See my 'Coping with Self Isolation' Comment today at 14:35 - keep up!

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 16:26

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 16:50
[oi151.photobucket.com]

Edited Mike because the video tags arenít working at the mo and there is something missing in the url



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 23/03/2020 17:12 by CoochieCoo.

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 17:48
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/5e785dd436d42_lm185wc25an41__700.jpg

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 17:51
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/taisymas-4-5e78c6b2c1074__700.jpg

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
23 March, 2020 17:52
Sorry, I'm bored with Boredpanda now, I'll stop.

gaz59
gaz59
23 March, 2020 19:01
Quote:
Mike the Taxi
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/taisymas-1-5e78b5636c56f__700.jpg

Johnson is so going to regret that headline quote

gaz59
gaz59
23 March, 2020 19:07
The Cliff Richard 'going on a summer holiday' meme doing the WhatsApp rounds is very funny though very crude

As is the one with guy showing the spread of own brand goodies that supermarket shoppers happily handed over when politely asked!

Sorry don't know how to do a link from WhatsApp or Twitter but check them out

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
23 March, 2020 21:23
http://v4admin.sportnetwork.net/upload/105/105_0_1584998446.jpg



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

gaz59
gaz59
25 March, 2020 11:07
Am going through my vinyl for a C19 disco from my balcony later.

First up will be Electric Chairs and Rise and shine(get up go to work)

Next probably Soup Dragons and I'm Free followed by the Animals and We got to get out of this place, if its the last thing we ever do

Any suggestions?

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
25 March, 2020 11:09
Quote:
gaz59
Am going through my vinyl for a C19 disco from my balcony later.
First up will be Electric Chairs and Rise and shine(get up go to work)

Next probably Soup Dragons and I'm Free followed by the Animals and We got to get out of this place, if its the last thing we ever do

Any suggestions?

War of the Worlds by Jeff Wayne?



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 March, 2020 11:14
Carpenters - Close to you



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
25 March, 2020 11:40
Hoagy Carmichael song with the lyrics

ď Please keep your distance
You know my resistance is lowĒ



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

MESSAGES->author
hemington
25 March, 2020 11:45
Gloria Gaynor - I will Survive
Bob Dylan - Knocking on Heaven's Door

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
25 March, 2020 13:05
REM - End of the World as we Know It

Skeeter Davis - Don't They Know it's The End of the World

Vera Lynn - We'll Meet Again

Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

Bob Dylan - Times They Are A Changing

Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way

gaz59
gaz59
25 March, 2020 13:38
Great suggestions, keep em coming

Bit too soon for Tainted Love?

gaz59
gaz59
25 March, 2020 13:43
Just found a Tom Jones compilation album so, Please release me, let me go, will be on deck soon

Lost Soul
Lost Soul
25 March, 2020 13:47
Peter, Paul and Mary Leaving on a jet plane

The Doors. The End

Eastbath
Eastbath
25 March, 2020 14:22
Donít stand so close to me Police
Breathe Pink Floyd
Donít touch me there The Tubes
Infected The The
Saturday Night Fever and Stayin Alive Bee Gees

Old Bath Tub
Old Bath Tub
25 March, 2020 15:03
Quote:
ouch!_that_hurts
I have run out of loo paper and am now using lettuce leaves - it's the tip of the iceberg!

Regarding loo paper, ď A new online tool could help people work out how long their stash of toilet rolls will last. The calculator, called Ď the poop tool.com , enables people to estimate the amount of loo roll they really need. A person who does 400 grams of pooh every day can expect to use one toilet roll every 12 days according to the tool ď

Really ?? (Sm100)



Adopted Player 2018/19 Ross Batty
Adopted Player 2019/20 Jack Davies

"AN OUNCE OF ACTION IS WORTH A TON OF THEORY"
FRIEDRICH ENGELS

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
25 March, 2020 15:23
Quote:
Old Bath Tub
Quote:
ouch!_that_hurts
I have run out of loo paper and am now using lettuce leaves - it's the tip of the iceberg!

Regarding loo paper, ď A new online tool could help people work out how long their stash of toilet rolls will last. The calculator, called Ď the poop tool.com , enables people to estimate the amount of loo roll they really need. A person who does 400 grams of pooh every day can expect to use one toilet roll every 12 days according to the tool ď

Really ?? (Sm100)

Surely 400g could be one whopper (see a doctor) or 4 little droppings? I would have thought its number of visits rather than mass of the resultant 'product'.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 25/03/2020 15:23 by BathMatt53.

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
25 March, 2020 15:34
Quote:
BathMatt53
Quote:
Old Bath Tub
Quote:
ouch!_that_hurts
I have run out of loo paper and am now using lettuce leaves - it's the tip of the iceberg!

Regarding loo paper, ď A new online tool could help people work out how long their stash of toilet rolls will last. The calculator, called Ď the poop tool.com , enables people to estimate the amount of loo roll they really need. A person who does 400 grams of pooh every day can expect to use one toilet roll every 12 days according to the tool ď

Really ?? (Sm100)

Surely 400g could be one whopper (see a doctor) or 4 little droppings? I would have thought its number of visits rather than mass of the resultant 'product'.

200 sheets per roll, 4 sheets per wipe, thats 50 visits, incidentally that's over Opti's prescribed 3 sheets.

Matt, I'm a bit worried about your little droppings!



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
25 March, 2020 16:05
[howmuchtoiletpaper.com]

The 'Advanced Options' button gives aa bit more depth of choice!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 25/03/2020 16:06 by Mike the Taxi.

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
25 March, 2020 17:41
New Bohemian Rhapsody

[youtu.be]



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
25 March, 2020 18:12
Excellent, CC!! thumbs down

JFPC
JFPC
25 March, 2020 18:46
Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19.
Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.



Adopted player 2019/20 Will Chudley.

MESSAGES->author
Duke of Earl
25 March, 2020 19:15
Great CC.



Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
26 March, 2020 13:07
Yep, like that a lot! Many thanks CC.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

gaz59
gaz59
26 March, 2020 14:41
Quote:
Eastbath
Donít stand so close to me Police
Breathe Pink Floyd
Donít touch me there The Tubes
Infected The The
Saturday Night Fever and Stayin Alive Bee Gees

Great suggestions there Eastbath. I've got that The The album on vinyl. So Infected is straight on the playlist. And I must have the Police somewhere too

Bit too soon for Cockney Rebel and Death Trip?

MESSAGES->author
woodpecker
27 March, 2020 08:15
I was thinking about how to weigh a poo, but then I realised you could do a before and after weigh.

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
27 March, 2020 08:27
Quote:
woodpecker
I was thinking about how to weigh a poo, but then I realised you could do a before and after weigh.
Need accurate scales and definitely no weeing at the same time. Woody, I really don't think its worth it to be honest. confused smiley



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

MESSAGES->author
woodpecker
27 March, 2020 08:36
2 rolls left and the bulk shipment is still showing 4th to 16th April.

Even 4th will be a problem. I could always go into work under cover of darkness

MESSAGES->author
shipwrecked
27 March, 2020 08:51
Is there still a shortage? I can buy in our local supermarket, not fully stocked of course but they are on the shelves.



https://i.ibb.co/gjWyP09/Unknown-1-2.jpg


Beno Obano Age 25 years, Loosehead prop, 5ft 8ins 18st 12lbs 'Mauls are like Transformers' they change form to become more powerful!

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
27 March, 2020 08:56
Quote:
woodpecker
2 rolls left and the bulk shipment is still showing 4th to 16th April.
Even 4th will be a problem. I could always go into work under cover of darkness

Yes, go to a shop they have plenty in my local Tesco now that everyone has calmed down a bit. In fact Tesco had pretty much everything apart from a shortage of tins, flour, pasta and some frozen things. Plenty of fresh everything including fruit and veg.



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

BBandW
BBandW
27 March, 2020 09:55
My next door neighbour has taken advantage of the nice weather and being at home to wash and hang out his Gloucester kit.

You wouldn't believe it, but some b@st@rd crept into his garden and stole the pegs.

BathMatt53
BathMatt53
27 March, 2020 10:01
Quote:
BBandW
My next door neighbour has taken advantage of the nice weather and being at home to wash and hang out his Gloucester kit.
You wouldn't believe it, but some b@st@rd crept into his garden and stole the pegs.

You could cut that up into squares and post to Woopecker to solve his immediate issue?



[Adoptee 19 / 20: The High ball and counter attack meister, Tom Homer]

gaz59
gaz59
27 March, 2020 13:49
Quote:
BBandW
My next door neighbour has taken advantage of the nice weather and being at home to wash and hang out his Gloucester kit.
You wouldn't believe it, but some b@st@rd crept into his garden and stole the pegs.

That made I laff

Cheers BBandW

Mike the Taxi
Mike the Taxi
27 March, 2020 17:25
[www.bbc.co.uk] - All the best ideas get pinched from 'Ere

gaz59
gaz59
27 March, 2020 22:28
Quote:
Mike the Taxi
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-52068546 - All the best ideas get pinched from 'Ere

I'm grabbing credit for that and im latest of C19 social distance disco we had some great stuff belting out but high point and finale was Ghost Town. So good I had to play it twice in honour of New York for being the fastest growing infected city and da da da da de da .. start spreading the ...

Riskman
Riskman
29 March, 2020 17:16
Get off my cloud - Rolling Stones
Fever - Peggy Lee
Doctor Kiss-kiss - 5000 Volts
Goodness Gracious Me - Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren (check the lyrics)

B4thB4ck
B4thB4ck
29 March, 2020 19:34
Apparently people are planning doorstep applause in honour of all the delivery and courier drivers.

This will take place in 3 to 5 days, anytime between 9am and 6pm.....

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
29 March, 2020 19:52
Quote:
B4thB4ck
Apparently people are planning doorstep applause in honour of all the delivery and courier drivers.
This will take place in 3 to 5 days, anytime between 9am and 6pm.....

....and if you are not in your neighbour will clap louder for you!



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

B4thB4ck
B4thB4ck
29 March, 2020 20:19
Quote:
CoochieCoo
Quote:
B4thB4ck
Apparently people are planning doorstep applause in honour of all the delivery and courier drivers.
This will take place in 3 to 5 days, anytime between 9am and 6pm.....

....and if you are not in your neighbour will clap louder for you!

From behind the gate!

MESSAGES->author
CoochieCoo
29 March, 2020 20:50
Quote:
B4thB4ck
Quote:
CoochieCoo
Quote:
B4thB4ck
Apparently people are planning doorstep applause in honour of all the delivery and courier drivers.
This will take place in 3 to 5 days, anytime between 9am and 6pm.....

....and if you are not in your neighbour will clap louder for you!

From behind the gate!

.....in a safe place!



https://pbflaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mToRbTHGUTg0zWMi8LNeOlOmx4tZHsH3crYbASv0X_qWBw8j30S9KV-RiZIf_AWoOZXD7D3Rjy1tYRAKXykpZSHuOObVQBiovPpB6PnDUuBM6xlx2F1yOjKpEBmWUfMru3SCm255j3p-CnndC7J9ZUG29r1BtfFWHHj-MdzDOpzBuTRTPqNaco8ctf1svZyW0?width=106&height=160&cropmode=none
https://pbfkaa.by.files.1drv.com/y4mhxY1k8zrLn92LwcIYgSd1KcA6zBGX-Wgw2dNz8Us0xA71EhjMmL2tc-ggx7OlsBDECw8eAZ_oAWnNyh5doimzOEics5H87cuh5Q-Sb-ViPD6Pt6QUBneu5F2tlWLltGQZ8pd5qFmsZwbKB39L5Dki21gJfnsiaxLiCiuWPCZUjkXp4EttajzFAgcCl6YuDDF?width=160&height=107&cropmode=none

gaz59
gaz59
29 March, 2020 23:18
I'll be in my garden shed

gaz59
gaz59
29 March, 2020 23:19
or inside my recycling wheelie bin, depends how I feel at the time


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