Avril Fool on 1^st of April? – From the Sofa Match Report

Never mind, we decided to have a Heineken party at our house with our good friends and fellow Season Ticket holders, Helen and Dougie.  Buffet lunch spread out before us, drinks in hand, we settled down in front of the TV to watch a game everyone told us was already a foregone conclusion that Biarritz would win.  Pah!  What do they know?  I should have known this was not an ordinary day – young Saint Hedgehog had scored 3 tries for Long Buckby Under 15’s this morning.  Playing at No. 5, a lock doesn’t usually get many chances but today was not an ordinary day.

The Biarritz supporters made us feel welcome by booing our boys onto the pitch but Carlos kicked off and Biarritz cleared to touch.  First line-out to us.  At the 2 minute mark, Ben made a beautiful run up the middle and the ground was established – we were going to take it to them.  We had a penalty and Carlos kicked for the corner rather than try for the 3 points.  From here on our line-outs went from bad to worse and we lost this and the next 2.  

Around the 10 minute mark and Robbie Kydd (who had the game of his life today) picked the ball up at a ruck and broke free up the ground ("go on Kydders," rings out from the Thomson living room) only to be up-ended before he could safely off-load the ball to Reihana running up the wing.   All the signs were there that we weren’t going to take this lying down.

By now it’s all getting a bit feisty – Gobelet and a few of his mates take Sean out to touch with Gobelet’s arm firmly around Sean’s neck (not seen by either Alain Rolland or the Touch Judge!!) and then Dylan manages to shove Harinordoquy’s face into the ground as he pushes himself up out of a ruck.  But we have the benefit of Sky replay! Biarritz have a chance at open play but, like they do so often throughout the match, they knock on.  Ben Cohen does a beautiful impersonation of a bulldozer as he takes the ball down just behind the try line with mud flying everywhere.  But poor Sean (who hasn’t been having the best of games up until now) is down and, much as Cliff rubs Sean’s poorly knee, his game is over.  Myler comes on as a replacement at the 25 minute mark.

Ten minutes to go until half time and it’s still 0-0 – who would have believed it?  Biarritz are getting feisty again and give another penalty away by Yachvilli having a pop at Ben with his fist.   But it’s not long until Biarritz get another penalty 40m out and Yashvilli decides to have a go at it but misses.

There followed another period of forwards play from the Saints, which eventually ends up with Tupai knocking on.  We were screaming at them to get it out to the backs but, funnily enough, they couldn’t hear us! Toops was at some of his best today though, even taking the shirt off Betsen’s back in a maul.  With a penalty being given to Biarritz for us holding on, Yachvilli has another kick at goal and succeeds with this one.  3-0 at half time and apart from Gobelet’s run up the wing when Mark Robinson’s phenomenal tackle took him out of touch, we haven’t been in too much danger of leaking a try.

Into the second half and we steal a Biarritz throw into the line-out but eventually Ben gets done for holding on.  Kydd is down injured so Brooks joins in to hold up play and give Kydd a chance to get back up into play – Mr Rolland is not fooled and Brooks and the Physio are warned this won’t be tolerated.  Myler’s now playing at 10, Bruce at 14 and Carlos 13 and it’s a clearance kick by Myler, which is charged down but also knocked on – big sigh of relief in our front room. On the 46^th minute Saints make changes - Gerrard on for Lord, Soane (I can’t spell his surname) on for Brooks and when we get a penalty for hands in the ruck we look like we could pull back to all square.  No – Carlos’ percentage kicking isn’t going to get any better today – he missed.

Diggin made a lovely run up the wing around the 50 minute mark then picked himself up from the resulting ruck and made haste into the middle of the pitch where he was eventually fed the ball and he tried an unsuccessful drop goal – your kicking ain’t getting any better, Diggers.

We put a lot of pressure on the Biarritz line to no avail when we are done for holding on.  Then on comes the Biarritz number 21 – running like a girly (I kid you not).  Howls of laughter from our front room.

The play is right back up in our half again, the pressure is on and a penalty is given to Biarritz for not rolling away.  Yachvilli kicks again, misses yet again. However, he makes no mistake with his next try at the sticks when we are penalised for being off side.  6-0.

Then, out of the blue when Biarritz are putting the pressure on us in our half, Kydd intercepts a ball and is off running 60 metres to touch the ball down with us screaming at him to keep going.  The strains of “Oh Wendy” can be heard over the TV.  Carlos does convert and the score is an unbelievable 6-7.  Noirot and Bobo come on for Biarritz in an effort to bolster their speed and drive and as Fox comes on for Lewitt (keep it cool Foxy!) strains of “Oh Wendy” can be heard again.  We have to hang on in their for 10 more minutes – it feels like 10 more years! 

Biarritz try the cross field kick this time but it’s knocked on (the story of their game today) and although they turn us over at our scrum the clock is ticking down.  We are screaming at the telly now – hang on in there! 

In the last minute now and our forwards have the ball, picking and driving, picking and driving.  We know from the TV that time is up but when the Saintsmen ask the Ref “how much longer to go”, no commitment is given.  Pick and drive, pick and drive.  “Can we kick it out Ref?" Digger's hollering at Mr Rolland! “Yes” says Mr Rolland.  The ball comes back to Carlos who, very teasingly, holds onto the ball until the very last second and gently taps it out of play. Game over.

We are screaming round the living room (heaven help the poor neighbours) and huge hugs ensue between everyone (including the dog who is barking at the telly).  I test my blood pressure (I am on tablets).  It’s 185/111 with a heart rate of 125.  Normal would be 120/80 with a heart rate of 72!  This is not good for my health but is soooo good for my happiness.

I text my Tigers supporting boss to tell him we are through (he’s at Wellbad Road by now) and his text comes back “April Fool”.  Not on this occasion mate, oh no, not this time.  Coventry here we come!