And to do it against the old enemy made things just as sweet.

Whilst things have not being going too well down at Franklins it has never been in doubt that the boys have been trying. But as usual we’ve had no sniff whatsoever of a visit from the luck fairy since Christmas. Feel free to blame me, I’ve had bad karma since I asked Santa for a new car and instead he brought me a selection of plugs from my local branch of B and Q. Suffice to say Santa was on the business end of a hissy fit. Remember Bram Stokers Dracula, where the titular villain renounces God in fit of tears and despair? It was kind of like that but with more plug chains and turkey?

So, after my stay at the mental home I saw in the new year in a rather, deposed state of mind shall we say. Fear not though, the doctor says so long as keep taking the pills and if I feel an attack coming on clench my buttocks so hard that if you put a lump of coal up there I’d poop out a diamond. I should be ok, eventually?

This might explain my change of message board profile name, my chronic miserable disposition, my weaker than usual grammar and spelling, my decision to grow a handlebar moustache, my recent and completely unwarranted hatred of cricket, which has led me to wonder around the streets of Bath with a boom box that only has 10cc’s “Dreadlock Holiday” playing and stops exactly as is the lyric “I don’t like cricket!” bellows outwards. Thankfully the people of Bath seem to think its some kind of obscure street theatre. Or finally, and most sadly, my most recent penchant for sky blue safari suits that do nothing for my figure.

But I digress, back to the rugby.

So yeah, we’ve been on the wrong end of some bad results, we went to Baghdad, sorry Vicarage Road, and got our usual second half spanking from the pragmatic, sorry dullest team in the history of rugby, ever. Then we let the Wussters sneak out of FG yet again without paying for the fine sirloin steak. We looked brave, full of drive and emotion, full of passion, unfortunately thanks to the kind words of our chairman live on sky; we ended up looking full of (ahem – Ed.)

Steady!!!

We struggled to handle the Quins, who seem to have once again a really weak front five and rely solely on a tip top team of cheats, otherwise known as the backrow and a solid boot. Oh for a solid boot, a boot that could knock ‘em over from, well within, what’s reasonable, fifteen metres?

Still, never mind, we won’t have that problem next year, for Barry Everett will be coming around the mountain to whisk away our fears of a three point defeat and replace them with the sort of late drop goal drama that has made him the scourge of many a Premiership team.

I look forward to that next year, if we get much of it though I may have to start some kind of contacts in the conflict diamond black market. (Don’t worry; there will be plenty of conflict, in my boxers)

Finally then, some sweet relief. And in no better way, no better place and no better club. Ah, tigers, what a bunch of mugs!! The finest one point walloping in the history of the game. The boys could still be out there playing now; the Tigers were never going to get the better of us. Spiritually, mentally, physically; we were right where we needed to be, at the top of our game. Ok, they weren’t really at the races but you don’t get any ice cream in this world unless you go up and ask for some.

The real question is this, was it a one off? Have we turned the corner? Was it a flare up? A fluke? Well, the good thing about questions like these is that you don’t have to wait too long for an answer.

So this weekend brings forth the visit from Gloucester, riding high in the league, beloved by the press, thanks to a smattering of talented if inexperienced young English players, they are led by a man who should be regarded as one of the best foreign signings ever made in the history of the
premiership and should almost certainly as one of the players of the season, Marco Bortalami.

Bortalami brings to Glaws the best of both worlds, a terrific, underrated, leader of men. Given to his duty, given to his team, with the kind of drive that you would normally only associate with those of the greatest generation. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, leaders do not grow on trees, but when you find one you need to move heaven and earth to keep hold of them. Bortalami is such a man. The basis around their return to form and to the top end of the table can be directed firmly at his shoulders. So yeah, basically you could call me a big fan.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Saints have desperately been trying to find someone to lead them out of the funk that they have found themselves in. Whilst the return of the mighty Bruce can be attributed to the turnaround in the fortunes from last week, it’s the brutal honesty of the players and management that have attested the turnaround. Staring the reaper in the face and taking him on is one of the toughest tasks that anyone will ever face in their lives. Yet, finally, here we are, flicking V’s at the demons and
showing the rest of the premiership that freefall is merely a state of mind.

Yet another “Honesty session” has galvanized the squad. A return to values that make a team strong, Honesty, hard work, integrity, bravery, all things that have been missing in one form or another since October. Thankfully not any more. A spring in the step, a weight lifted, on the up.

Injuries have plagued our season, though we don’t do excuses anymore, there has been some light at the end of the tunnel. But Karma has been nothing but a mother-licker all season, so as soon as we see Bruce and Smyler return, we start getting backrow issues. In coming this week however has been some very physical assistance. A hombre, a right wrong-un, a particularly big bad Frenchman. Former French
international Christian Labit has been signed on a short term contract to add some battering to the backrow, as if it needed any more? Tsk, I dunno.

Currently added to the injured list is Big Pat, with another bad injury to his calf. Vassy has injured his hip, another injury that seems to be reoccurring. But at this time of the season plenty of the guys will be
carrying injuries, spending plenty of time with Cliff Eaton and his team of physios and masseuse’s? massusi? Matsui? What’s the plural for a collection of masseuse’s? A gaggle of masseuse’s or a murder of masseuse’s? Maybe a barrel load of masseuses? I give in, anyway Cliff and his team will be working overtime to get the lads ready for one more crunch game.

So whilst the injury list has read as something of a who’s who it’s nice to see that Big Dav, who may be off to pastures new, and some bloke called Los returning from the injured list. We all know how important Los is to the Saints, but David Gerrard’s form for the club, especially when alongside Christian Short has been nothing short of sensational in a team that has been underachieving. Whilst the lineout is still basically a work in progress, we have definitely seen a vast improvement in amount of ball we have won at the set piece and some thievery too? Well little apples are sweet aren’t they?

Dav’s helped to form a big part of the steel in the pack. The right hand side of the scrum, Pat, Dav and Toops are a wonderful sight to behold when in full flow. Rampaging, scavenging, and battering around the side of rucks. Not to mention under no circumstances taking no shoite whatsoever from anyone. Add his old pal Labit to the mix, no liberties on sale at Franklins Gardens. Nice.

Then we come to Los, take a moment to imagine him running freely like a gazelle in the outside centre channel. Dazzling Mike Tindall with his fancy foot work, sidestepping the big tackling centre, or just running around him it’s all the same really. Mmm, mouthwatering!!!

Should both men be wearing the number 13 shirt this weekend expect the sparks to fly. In fact, I fully expect it to go off like an arsonist in a fireworks factory.

One would imagine we will see Myler retain his role at Fly half. He has a wonderful air about him. He seems sensible, dependable, reliable and lots of other words that end in “ible”. Yes, Smyler has been a terrific find, and a damn sight cheaper a Rugby League convert than Andy Farrell or Chev Walker
or Glaws own Karl Price or the infamous Henry Paul, whose flame shimmered in the light for about 2 and a half minutes.

The best is yet to come from Smyler; you don’t need me to tell you to keep an eye on him. But with such a dearth of English fly halves actually getting any sort of consistent rugby at premiership level it won’t be long before Ashton comes calling.

So at the time of writing neither team has actually named their line up, I could guess, I could place a few phone calls too, but frankly I can’t be bothered. Guessing is so much more fun isn’t it? I got 5 of the 6 major Oscars right on Monday, shame I didn’t get down the bookies on Saturday.

So I do reckon…

Saints team

1 Wee Tam
2 Dylan
3 Tiny
4 Damo
5 Shorty
6 Toops
7 Bluey
8 Labit
9 Sharks
10 Smyler
11 Benny
12 Quins
13 Los
14 Monty
15 Bruce

16 Mattie Cortese
17 Chickenbro
18 Lordy
19 Al Rae
20 Johnny Howard
21 Mattie Bourret
22 Diggers

As for Glaws

Erm,

1 Christian Califano
2 Oliver Azam (watch the sparks fly between him and Dylan)
3 Carlos Nieto
4 Alex Brown
5 Marco Bortalami
6 Peter Buxton
7 Andy Hazell
8 Luke Narraway
9 Pete Richards
10 Ryan Lamb (though don’t be surprised to see Ludo Mercier play and for
Glaws to go all pragmatic. YAWN!)
11 Mark Foster
12 Jack Adams
13 Mike Tindall
14 James Simpson-Daniel
15 Jon Goodridge

16 Mefin Davies
17 Jack Forster/ Nick Wood
18 Will James
19 Jake Boer
20 Haydn Thomas
21 Ludo Mercier
22 James Bailey

So there we go, Glaws don’t have a brilliant record at Franklins, and they have something of a bad record on the road generally. Given the form of the last week, it should be a lovely game.

For my money, Saints by 4