SAINTS 32 - 7 NEWPORT GWENT DRAGONS

"CATCHES WIN MATCHES"

It's an old saying but it's the reason that Northampton Saints beat Newport Gwent Dragons by an innings. Poor fielding was the beggining and end of all the Dragons woes and in contrast the Northampton side showed far better hands with Reihana giving a master class behind the stumps.

Newport Gwent Dragons other mistake was to think that just because they had the gameplan to beat Leicester they could beat the Saints the same way. Silly really, we're a different kettle of fish.

Prior to kick off Maddy and I were quietly nodding off to some dirge (Vangelis has grown on us,) playing on the sound system when that wag Allen announced the arrival of the team. Such was the eruption from the home faithful that S4C are currently trying to find the Saints supporters club as they want to sue for damaged equipment. They really shouldn't cry over spilled milk.

Clearly this week King Carlos had decided that the best way to slay the dragon was to employ waterbombs. Prior to Saints kicking off, downhill towards the now gigantic south stand, he wiped as much moisture as he could muster on to the already slippery ball. All that was needed then was to smash the ball into the upper atmosphere, have a cup of tea waiting for it to come down and then snap up the spilled ball from the hapless Dragons fullback. The poor chap, as the ball gathered snow, the fourty thousand Saints fans made his job pretty difficult as they willed him to drop it. And very obliging he was too, generous cahps these South Sea Island types. The others in the team decided to join in and tonight will all be haunted by dreams of their schoolmaster screaming "never let a rugby ball bounce"

Other areas were satisfying too. The Saints line out was tip top all night. On their own ball they'll be happy with a 136% return but they also nicked plenty of oppo ball too. Basil was one of the arftful dodgers in chief. He announced last season that we hadn't seen the real Selbourne Boome well it appears the stunt double has been despatched and the real deal has played his hand. And what a hand, royal flush I'd say.

Defence, don't get me started on defence. In fact stick a fork in me I'm done! Appart from the odd penalty for mistiming, the rush, envelop, drive back and then finally turn it over system worked like a dream. They'll be crying into their Brains in the valleys tonight.

Lamont committed what is sure to be a contender for professional foul of the season. His shove in the back saving a likely seven pointer. I for one was appalled that he had a standing ovation off the pitch to serve his ten minutes. No not really I giggled like a schoolgirl.

There's not much else to say about the match other than Bruce got the Brucie bonus (congratulations hoppers,) and Newport were the benefactors of crazy corner for a consolation try. Why crazy corner? Well Lamont clearly hit the flag before his touch down and Wyatt slid in from the 22 whilst up to his waist in touchline. The quirky became the bizarre as we went to the video ref. Geoff Allens comments that it was taking longer as the pictures needed translating can be the only explanation.

Budge was thrilled and once again pointed to the weeks training empahasis as the catalyst of triumph. He stated:

"What seemed like an odd idea (to concentrate on getting the ball off the other team,) has now snowballed in to a full blown gameplan. It appears that teams without the ball can't score. Who knew?"

And for regular readers I bring welcome news of Bert Haddon or as we like to say in our colloquial way 'air Bert'. This week Bert had Sky installed in his allotment shed and due to the Iris-Mavis situation is lying low with his vegetables. I called him after the game and he was chuffed to watch the S4C coverage saying:

"Them Saints were proper bobby dazzlers they shud get King Carlus a crown"

To quote a hero. It's goodnight from me!