By Monty Masters
June 20 2006

Continuing our look back at the 2005/6 season, here's what Monty made of the visit of London Irish to FG back in October '05.

CHARITY ON THE PITCH?

SAINTS 25 - 23 LONDON IRISH

Firstly an apology for the lateness of this report. My driver Dexter insisted I walked back through the Northamptonshire countryside to Masters Manor. Something about doing my bit for charity and those super people involved in Saints with Heart 4.

Before reporting on the facts of the match I must report the sad demise of the prediction power of Mr R. Domestos. 27-7 he confidently announced to me personally. Clearly the pace of his yomp from Wolverton had addled his crystal ball.

To the match. What a day of kindness and charity. As ever the good lord shone down on the gardens and provided us with as good a day as could be expected in May!

Firstly London Irish coughed up the ball in their red zone for Jon Clarke to pile on. Bruce Reihana finishing in the corner. He converted his own try to the delight of the demented chimps in the crowd.

This clearly wasn't in tune with the theme for the day. Someone had a word with Clarke and informed him it was quite rude not to fall over when tackled. If the Irish had gone to the trouble of grabbing hold for dear life the least he could do was act as if he'd noticed. Then Spencer got a dressing down to:
"look Carlos all this showing off is a tad distasteful. Could you not make the odd error so they at least get some points?"

Thankfully the Saints realised the error of their ways and presented Flutey with a simple interception and run in. Then Saints got a bit carried away and their generosity overflowed. This time the grateful recipient was another of those Fea'anati boys. My goodness their family must be proud and mightily relieved they don't have to feed them anymore!

Before you knew it the score was 7-20 with four assists to Carlos. Obviously Irish were feeling a tad guilty about taking for taking advantage and let Saints get one back. Guess who, Bruce again. Cue the chimps and a half time score of 17-20. Rugby fit to grace the super 12 and nearly a point a minute. Surely this would end up a 40-38 thriller!

To the second half. Nothing happened in normal time apart from one Irish penalty. Had the teams been doped? Were the players warned about all this showing off and open rugby? Who knows? But both teams cancelled each other out with a bit of bish bash bosh in the middle of the park. Carlos continued to give them the ball but they kept giving it back and so it went on and on and on and on.

As the game neared the end of the third half Bruce decided he'd had enough of all this niceness. Clearly it was his ball and he was taking it home. A quick tap and then some simple hands to big Ben Cohen running straight at full pace on the wing brought a try. Crazy tactics but it worked who on earth dreamed it up? In his final piece of one man rugby Bruce kicked the winning points from a position where many have missed. All 50 000 Gardens Gorillas gave it the Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce and the whole place went potty.

In a final final final act of generosity both teams returned to the pitch to salute the supporters. A nice touch on a jolly nice day.

Budge remarked after the game that the team had lost energy in the second half and suggested that the half time pie and pint might be a mistake. Training this week will be facilitated by the duracell bunny and the players will be on a strict diet of lucozade, red bull and boost bars with garana.

Bert Haddon, the Saints supporting octagenarian, now fully recovered is said to have gone on the 'larupp' big time after the game. Well done Bert I say!

Finally Mr I. Lee-Verly was asked after the match what he thought. He said: "it's a shame we lost but them Irish always beat us at home"