Yorkshire Carnegie
A Goat’s Eye View: Chapter 2 - Easter Bunny Lovin’
By The Carnegie Goat
April 27 2015
Hey there Goat Fans, hope you all had a Happy Easter with lots of eggs! Well I am still avoiding being the main dish in a Bedouin family dinner with my stealthy little jaunts in the mountains! Not long left now and I’ll be safely home in Yorksharia! So, what a difference a week makes, or several in my ‘5 Goat years = 1 Human year’life span thing!
With what little t’interweb coverage I could scrounge off the local network, firstly I saw that Sir Kevin of Rhinosersauruses had decided he was bored playing with the silky short brigade and wanted to try his hand at the real thing. Think all the sobbing Rhinosersaurus fans woke me up the following morning! What a coup, all we need now is Russell Crowe to buy us, Thor and the Hulk to sign up and HaxbyTyke to be given Kicking responsibilities (who remembers that day at The Stoop when he kicked like a one legged man in an arse kicking competition)! Things seem to be definitely improving!
Then, I was still bouncing around with excitement like Pepe Le Pew on speed when those Yorksharia Board folk decided that we needed some more players and got us the SAS, Stegmann, Andy and Schofield! I believe some of you have been dreaming about signings like this for years, I know I have. In my humble Goat opinion, this shows great ambition! I may go to HC and hang around the Board Room, occasionally butting the new Board in the plums, as a reminder about resigning our superstars! That’s sure to work! Apparently there are even more signings waiting in the wings clearly showing the new board’s intent!
I was sad to hear that Vicks was retiring however what a career and health comes first, good luck Mr Vicks and thanks for all your efforts over the years. Then, I had to spend the best part of my weekend counselling Gelbel who was practically inconsolable when she heard Harry Casson was going, I have never seen so much snot and tears, took ages to wipe it off my coat! Also, we are saying caio to Nathan Hannay, Sam Egerton (who typically has just found his form), Ben 'Second Row’ Harris, Louis Grimoldby, and World Cup winning, England Leg-End Paul Hill. Good luck boys and remember, Never Eat Goat!
In Round-Ball Game News, I see those Bellend Road folks have started raising funds, offering shares for a quid each. With their funds they are attempting to purchase a 25% stake in the Sleeping Giant! Not a bad idea, wonder if we could ever be so generous! I recall that the Bellend Road East Stand was built with the profits of a Bond Scheme so these ideas can produce the goods! Anyway, with the money I earned whoring myself out to the Gurkhas (it was either that or end up in a Gurkha curry), I have purchased a few, you never know!
I am thinking of starting a PodCast, going to call it ‘Goat Bants for Tykesters'. I could interview players and have some cracking bants, asking probing questions like ‘Why did ASBO think it was a good idea to wear that BoyBand baseball cap?’, ‘Was Balshaw’s name really engraved on the Physio’s treatment table?’and ‘Does our mighty media man even know we exist?’. What do my Goat fans think?
Anyway, by the time you all read this, I will be back, planning my next little trip which may be some more time in the desert, this time Stateside! Exciting times for Goats you know! I missed the Scottish Game because Ryan the Groundsman issued a court injunction preventing me from coming within 50 years of his beloved pitch, apparently he didn’t want me trotting on to his pitch every 5 minutes to start munching his grass (NOT an euphemism)!
Oh and Goat Thought for the Week, Goats cannot swim, FACT!
Carnegie Goat Out.
@CarnegieGoat - Follow for Goat Bants!
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27/04/2015 08:57
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2015:05:17:16:19:48 by Gelbel.
Zandra YaPoI
YaPoI - Yorkshire and Proud of It
'proficiscor in una'
