By The COYSDC Poets
October 7 2003

Covering the first three matches in the ZP, and some lively comments on the BHF walk this collection welcomes back the regulars (esp our own "Bard of Walsall"), and a prolific guest poet from Wasps........ PRE SEASON

Author: St_Marlowe
Date: 08-09-03 22:57

How many kinds of great players grow
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens?
We'll tell you now of some that we know
Those we miss you'll surely pardon.

Russell, Peillard, Darren Fox
Hyndman plays out of his socks
Leslie and Connors, scourge of all Grewcocks
Phillips, Miles, Chris Budgen
James Brooks
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens.

How many insects come here and go
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens?
We'll tell you now of some that we know
Those we miss you'll surely pardon

Fezheads, Geezers, Barfites too
Rothers unsure what to do
Falcons drift in, but they're only a few
There are Tykes, Wasps that sting
And other creeping things
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens


How many Inter-nationals grow
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens?
We'll tell you now of some that we know
Those we miss you'll surely pardon.

Dawson, Budge, Big JL
Wally wishes back rows well(!),
Bruce Reihana and then
Don't forget Air Ben Cohen
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens.

How many Refs will run on Piggy's sward
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens
We'll tell you now, (but some of them are flawed)
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens

Spreaders, White and Clive Norling
Lander, doing his own thing
Campsall, Maybank and Pearson
All hold the ring
At the hallowed Franklins Gardens.

How many great coaches come here and grow
Saints In Franklins Gardens?
We'll tell you now of some that we know
Those we miss you'll surely pardon.
Wayne Smith.



Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 07-09-03 18:08

It's time to start writing fresh poems
Of the great, new adventures to come.
There'll be fortnightly trips to the Gardens
And much broader travel for some.

We've a pot that's in need of a polish
We've been waiting for all of our lives
For Saints to win domestic honours
There's a job for the new players wives.

But it's big uns the faithful are after.
Down at Twickers when next the sun shines
we've all watched the lads play in friendlies
We've all seen encouraging signs.

But before then there's hail, wind and thunder
And we're sure to endure howling gales.
It all starts next friday in Cheshire
As we're off for a day at the Sales.

Last season the Sharks went and beat us
In the game they all know we were robbed.
A dropped goal by that proper Charlie
Saled over and Saints fans all sobbed.

But this time it's different, I feel it
We'll be off to a much better start
The lads simply won't put me through it
'Cos I've got to look after me heart.

They made us so proud in the 7's
And brought us that nice, shiny pot
But one thing will make me feel better
If Saints win the whole b100dy lot.


THE BATH MATCH

Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 17-09-03 17:54

It doesn't take a committee
To realise we all should take pity
'Cos On Sat'dee the Wreck
Gets reality check
When the Saints visit Barf's Pretty City.

By now everybody will know
The hurricane, this week won't blow
And though Budge is missin'
We've men on a mission
With Buzzard, Air Foxy and Snow.

The Renault's developed a fault
His Saints career now is on halt
The machinery's French
But his absence - no wrench,
Young Brett Sturgess will lead the assault.

So come on you Townies - 'BELIEF"
But take warning or you'll come to grief
Don't do like at Sale
And drink too much ale
At the Wreck there's nowhere for relief.


Author: Maverick
Date: 18-09-03 00:27

Iv'e only been once to the Wreck
I'd never travelled, but thought what the heck
Twas earlier this year
In full Saintsly gear
It was time we dealt a full deck

An Away Day virgin I was
Never been to Leicester or Gloss
But my cherry was popped
As to the next round we hopped
And the Bathites they felt their loss

This Satdee, I just can't go
No beer tokens and time, don't you know
But the message is clear
The Saints have no fear
We'll take on them scamps without Blow!!



Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 22-09-03 18:02

Well we said we'd have downs with our ups,
Before a Spring laden with cups.
And don't forget, James,
For these early games,
We're having to blood the young pups.

But you'll see, as we get old dogs back
We'll find the aggression we lack
And then we'll all laugh
At the me'mry of Barf
And the game Jimmies played with no pack.

WASPS MATCH – AND A RAPPIN’ PEST JOINS THE POETS!

Author: WestMidsSaint

The Jimmies'll swat the old Pest
Or my name isn't Midlands Saint, West
Their Godfather's gone
Conclusions foregone
The Saints'll be like men possessed.

Don Dilly is off down below
And with him his back row mate, Joe
With no Abbott nor King
Their backs have no sting
Just some bloke called Vincent van Gogh.

So sat'dee get ready to pardy
Get there early my friends don't be tardy
Watch Air Shark, in his quarrel,
Make the one who's like Laurel
Look more like poor Oliver Hardy.

And as for that bloke called Leota
A vile, neckless chappy - a rotter
With his tackles - unfair
And his tacky, dyed hair
Hagrid's pet in the new Harry Potter?

No - Sat'dee the Jimmies are back
At their home - and they'll get back on track
Away for too long
But with crowd in full song
Bath a dream, things won't seem, quite so black.

Before I read the verse I felt a bit cr@ppy
Some might say I was feeling quite snappy
But reading West Mid's Saintly rhymes
Shows we must move with the times
And now I'm feeling quite happy!


Author: Rappin Rugby
Date: 25-09-03 21:56

Its no wonder its quiet these days
as you finished last year in a haze
in the play off you dropped
and despite how you propped
the waspies front row earned all the praise.

So you get to start over again
but without Steve, Matt, Paul, and young Ben
who are away on the plane
(cos you can't catch a train)
and are managed by woodward not sven.

The match this weekend won't be tight
cos us Wasps will have just too much might
so don't worry dear Bleach
a wins way out your reach
Wait till saturday you'll see that I'm right.

Author: St_Marlowe
Date: 26-09-03 00:46

Oh Rappin you’re really too much
this game will slip out of your clutch
pride precedes a fall
Our lads will walk tall
and Dayglo has been your main crutch

There's Brucie Reihana and Drahm
Who will steer our good ship to the calm
And a youngster called Clarke
who'll swat pests for a lark
and send you back in a sulk to the farm

Nick Beal with his prodigious boot
Will put waspies on the back foot
While Hunter and Lord
Put your team to the sword
While our Sharkie scoops up all the loot

So Rappin, dont come here and crow
about Wasps intentions to throw
Saints off their stride
Come along for the ride
and watch our pest control show

Why "rappin"? My verse is complete
Your name suggests hip-hop from the street
If your rhythm's like that
I'll eat SlimJimmies Hat
As your side tumbles down in defeat

Author: Rappin Rugby
Date: 26-09-03 08:14

Yo !

St Marlowe your "come back" rhymes neat,
if you rap to a hip-hoppy beat,
But don't question my style
Cos it stands out a mile
you'd be better off "rapping" a sweet.

Mark Van G will be our first wasps scorer
as the saints become gradually poorer
when I'm downing my drink
I'll be starting to think
If "SlimJimmies" hat's a Fedora?

Author: Rappin Rugby
Date: 26-09-03 13:15

Not sure of Saint Chris's reply
or what he is trying to imply.
Can he really not tell,
if our Lol is a girl?
Why not ask him (but he'll sure make you cry !!)

As for matters concerning the action
neither pack will retreat a mere fraction
but with Trevor up front
with a groan and a grunt
your front row will all end up in traction

Well the time is fast ebbing away
till the referee signals "lets play"
so to you fine saints fans,
with your midlander tans
lets enjoy, and all have a good day.

Author: Howlin
Date: 26-09-03 16:19

Can't be bothered to reply in verse ?
Well surely it can't get any worse
This waspie called rappin
Says saints will get a slappin
This must be worth just one more verse

At FG the saints are the best
Tomorrow they'll rise to the test
The trys will start cummin
the crowd will start hummin
the waspies will get sent home to their nest

The lineout will suddenly improve
the pack will slot into their groove
the backs will be quick
every pass will be slick
and the crowd will applaude every move

Now I know what everyones thinking
Its Friday that Howlins been drinking
Well you're probably right
but this piece of foresight
is not due to the pints I've been sinking.

Author: Rappin Rugby
Date: 27-09-03 08:01

Big up to the dude known as howlin'
who replies like a young J K Rowlin'
he has made me perspire
so I had to retire
For a shower, a shave and a towlin'

But today brings a cold, dark, damp morning
as my trip to the "Gardens" is dawning
as I wait for my train
It has started to rain
I wonder if this is a warning.


Saint Howlin seems pretty convinced
and not once in his rhyme had he winced
let him still fantasise
through his rose tinted eyes
that the Wasps are just gonna get minced


But the truth will be there, just you see
as the wasps run in try number three
for the Saints its a sin
to see my Waspies win
before heading back home for their tea !


Author: Rappin Rugby
Date: 28-09-03 09:14

So the Wasps were'nt quite up to the test
for a win at the gardens their quest
after a lightning quick start
we somehow fell apart
and the Saints on the day were the best.

Despite the defeat I must say
(and travelling a mighty long way)
all the saints fans were great
so its here that I'll state
that I still had a pretty good day.

Thanking you Saints is not treason
Cos' I feel that I have a good reason
as we plan a new path
for a win against Bath
It's farewell, till the end of the season.
Booshaka..........................



Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 28-09-03 17:08

A good poem, though strictly not Rap
And the compliments flow like a tap
It's just such a shame
That their coach, what's his name?
Said that Trev was a load of old crap!

Now Air Smudger has never been heard
To utter disparaging word
Though once he did say
"That's dysfunctional play"
When to Jimmies at Bath he referred.

But no, that was Rats after all
Mr Smith would never name call
As for Pests man of letters
The more here the better
As his use of words surely enthrals.




THE BHF WALK



Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 06-10-03 19:03

We're raising funds for BHF
We're such a motley crew
A sponsored walk to Jimmy's End
With London Irish too

Balloons galore, a bucket shake
And Beefy's cashback tickets
But what's that chant? I hear you shout
My word! That's just not cricket

A gentle walk is one thing but
I'd sooner scale the Eiger
Than listen to that Ajack bloke
Alongside shouting 'Tiger'

"There's ladies present don't you know
And lots of little kids
They may be used to swearing
But modesty forbids

The use of such foul language
During such a worthwhile hike
So cut it out Sir, if you would,
If not - then 'On yer Bike"

Author: Chris_the_Saint
Date: 06-10-03 19:12

Now don't you worry West Mids Saint
Bout keeping Ajack shut
First Time we hear that dirty word
We'll drown him in the cut!



Author: WestMidsSaint
Date: 06-10-03 19:23

Those smug folk up in Leicester
In my mind I hear them gloat
They know with all that balast
That he will surely float

Unless of course we weight him down
Tie ankles both with bricks
Before we lob in the cut
Yes - that'll stop his tricks.

But hang on - have you seen him drink
Enough to make you cry
The cut'll never take him
'Cos he'll sup the bu66er dry.


Author: Chris_the_Saint
Date: 06-10-03 19:27

Alas this ode goes on and on
Indeed it does get sadder
Cos though Ajacks a drinking champ
He's a thimble for a bladder!


Author: ajack
Date: 06-10-03 19:34

It does not have to be this way
If money goes in the pot
Then it's only Saintly songs
and not the other lot.


Author: St_Marlowe
Date: 06-10-03 19:52

Garforth's kit shows Ajack's figure
So if half the board was willing
To sponsor him against the Tigger
A Saint's shirt he'd be filling


Author: Chris_the_Saint
Date: 06-10-03 20:36

Alas in his fortee four years
That Ajacks done some swilling
So alas its not just Garforths shirt
Buts Wests and Kays he's filling.