Hiya mates!

Sorry I haven't wroted for so long but Daddy has been very very busy and it has been imposterble to get on the puter!

First can I just say w-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l done to some people. Well done to Ben Cohen you are the bestest Ingerlund player by miles and miles. My Daddy is so proud acuzz you wented to the same school as him. 3 tries in two games and that total gersplatteration of  that New Zealunder what copied your name was very very very special. I hope woodentop gave you a sticker for being good! Also well done to Mattie Daws and Wally you is doing good too! I hope Wobbie Mowwis gets his first cap on Saturday too. More well dones to Budge who my bunny is named after and to Tommy Smiff for beating those Sowf Africans. Finally w-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l doen to the Saints for getting a bonus point in Leeds. Everybody forted you would get beated by a gersquillion killion points but you didn't!



Now some not w-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l dones! To the are eff you, eye are bee etc... you are blinking flipping stupid plinker plonkers ploos! Saints was doing very nicely in the zippee before they had to give away all their bestest players so that you pawn sandwhich eaters could watch them play internashunals. Why can't you just play theses games at a differunt time? It's not fair, I pay ten squids for my Bernies gang membership and if the Saints don't win Bernie gets sad and when Bernie is sad then I am sad and it's all your faults. Ten squids is a lot of wonger when you are five and a quarter. I won't do it acuzz I'll get told off but I want to shout one of my daddies wear words at you! If the silly old girlyquins beat the Saints on Saterday then I might just risk having to sit on the bottom step acuzz I won't be able to help myself! PLONKERS

Saints have gotted a new player and lost one of my favourites. Goodbye Actionman. I hope you get better soon and come back and play for Saints again. Hello Matt Lord. Lots of my Daddies mates have been making up silly names for you like Good (lord) and Praise the (lord) and Daddy came up wiv a song Kumbayah Matt Lord! (It's not his fault he is getting very old, 32 yesterday!!!! Blimey he'll need a walking stick like Yoda next) Well I hope you like it here, just don't do too we-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l acuzz they'll probably pick you for one of the sick nayshuns teams and you'll never play for the Saints ever again!

Brucie Banana has arrived!!! Hooray!!!! Hello Brucie I hope you like it here too. We have been watching you on Saterday mornings on the telly and you must be very tired after playing so well. Everyone is very excited that you will be playing for the Saints.

Right now you lot I have to tell you somefink very very very very very very very very important! You have all got to look after your hearts properly. That is so you don't get poorly like Bleach, Saintsby or West Midlands Saint. Most people don't know what a heart does they just fink it goes thump thump thump in their chest. Your heart pumps blood around your body what has got loads of stuff in it like oxygen what we breathe and food what we eat and fings what stop us getting poorly so it is very important indeed. We breathe oxygen in through our mouth our nose and our belly button. If you don't look after your heart it can stop and sometimes it doesn't start again and then you go to heaven. Some fings are good for your heart like having a good laugh and going for a run or eating stuff like apples and broccoli (yuck) and some fings are bad for your heart like McDonalds (happy meals don't count) and smoking stinky cigarettes and drinking too much falling down juice (yes Uncle markskaa there really is somefink called too much.) So to help more people look after their hearts and to raise some wonger to help make people have better hearts you all better enter the Saints with Heart Walk OK!

Finally everybody be happy. Saints will beat the girlyquins acuzz they are rubbish!!! And if buy some silly ridiculous fluke the girlyquins win then don't worry acuzz next week we will have Ben, Matt, Wally, Budge, Tom and Scuba Steve Williams back. Everybody shout until your head goes pop - COME ON YOU SAINTS

See Ya!
Joe