By Mav in Stuart Hall mode
February 10 2003

Well if you are gonna be late with your match reports you might as well be original! This week Maverick runs his Stuart Hall stylee all over Saints v Sarries. You've read the rest, now read the downright surreal....... Aah, the clouds were violent and violet with shades of the darkest blue and grey over the gladitorial pit that is Franklins Gardens on Saturday.

Like oppressive beasts they circled throughout the afternoon o'er the cauldron that saw a masterly display by Saints but they dare not shed their load o'er the playing pastures of that hallowed turf.

Two teams to do battle. There would only be one victor. The wand of Dionysus wafted across the golden field as Saints supped from the cup of finest wine. Ben Cohen, verily a modern day Heracles leapt high as though trying to reach Olympus as Beal's kick arced across the field and plucked the golden egg from the skies.

Shortly after, disaster for Saracens. A sickening clash of heads led the early exits of Messrs Sorrell and Benazi. Young master Sorrell, the blue lights of the ambulance showed the signs were not good, we wish you well.

So, back to the fray. Saints on top, midfield dictated by the beguiling flute of Pan. Dawson, for it was he, popped over for the second score. The crowd, delirious! Castagneide scores for the visitors, half-time 20-11 and off for a pork rrroollll.

The wind blew and clouds moved lower to witness the spectacle but still they dare not break. Second Half! Smith's mighty Argonauts continued to dominate in all areas. Hephaestus, the heavenly black-smith, could only stand back and admire the work of Tom Smith as he prowled around the park full of destructive fire and wrath.

Indeed, Smith got his reward early in the second half, crossing the sacred white-wash at the second attempt after being impeded by the referee. Ha-Ha-ha-haaaaa! Out of the way, sir! The ever industrious Mr Seely scored the fourth try to secure the legendary bonus point.

Two late scores by the Saracens hoards could not dampen the spirits of these Saintly warriors and soon it was all over!

34-25 to the heroes in Gold, Black n Green! The gods to the changing room to feast on ambrosia, the crowd in Elysium!

Maverick

Next week: Stockers does Scotland v Ireland in the style of McGonagall while Old Pete reports from Twickenham, his second home, in the literary style of the Gulag Archipeligo while Saintsbys off to Rome to cover Wales in the style of the Mr Men. Watch this space..........

Oh I nearly forgot, its tradition we can't have a match report without a mention of hat on wheels. So ermmmm hats on wheels!!!

Goodnight Matron!


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