In an ideal world the rest of the season would be a great thing and go something like this :-

PoohCornerPosse v BRIZZLE.

In an incredibly bad tempered game neither side seemed to play much rugby and seemed more intent on killing the ball and punching lumps out of each other. The only scores in the first half were from the boot of the two respective kickers coming from the numerous penalties awarded against both sides.

The second half was little better with a total of ten players being sent to the bin and in the 70th minute a mass brawl broke out with the remaining players left on the pitch all being sent off. With the match being abandoned and the scores tied at 15-15 the game was strangely awarded to the PCP, although the RFU have yet to dream up a reason why. Coaches Dean Richards and Dean Ryan both blaming the other side for following there well used tactics and themselves ending up in a geriatric free for all before making up and both joining a strange religious sect.


STALE v PESTS.

In a very one sided match Stale ran in try after try against a Pest team that looked strangely out of sorts. Pest’s cause was not helped when Mr Day-Glo actually tried arguing with the ref at the same time as diving over the ball and subsequently actually swallowed it. Day-Glo will have to undergo an operation to have his ball removed but should be fit to captain some England team playing somewhere that no one really cares about. Pests season came to an unhappy end and with nothing left to play for will all go home, just as soon as someone finds out where home is. But in general the day was enjoyed by the largest crowd of the season at Stale of 2,278.

GLAWS v BUDGIES.

Many thought that this would be a grudge match but it did not turn out that way, as before the game Rob the Gob asked if the Budgies could play in there away kit saying “I do not like Black” realising his mistake he immediately banned himself from ever setting foot near a rugby ground again and can now only watch Barf at home.

This incident seemed to change the atmosphere within the ground and strange things were heard from the shed including “no old chap I think you will find he was on side as no ruck or maul had actually formed”.

The game was very even with both sides playing some wonderful, rugby and with the scores tied at 28-28 in the dying moments of the game Pat Lam picking the ball up from what the crowd agreed was an onside position beat two men to feed Inga to go over in the corner. With JW slotting over the conversion the referee blow his whistle for time. The two joyful Samoans went up and hugged each other and performed the Samoan Haka as a way of celebration. Unfortunately the shed faithful thought they were taking the Michael and erupted into a chorus of “gert orf moy larrrnd” and everything was back to square one.

ORISH v THE MIGHTY SAINTS

With the memory of a couple of weeks ago in everybody’s mind this was always going to be a strange game, not that you would have known it with the jovial behaviour of both sets of supporters before the game.

Unfortunately Orish had to field a much weakened team, with it being a national holiday in South Africa, and Saints made the most of this playing some wonderful rugby and in the end running out easy winners, although no one could actually remember the score as both sets of supporters drank copious amounts of the black stuff and generally had the craic. It really was another great advertisement for the game.


PCP v MUNSTER

With twelve of the team and the mascot banned from the previous weeks brawl with Brizzle and Beano still nowhere to be seen, the flags amongst the PCP faithful did not even reach knee high. This was indeed a sad day for English rugby, with the Irish men running riot and winning the cup by a huge margin. The least said about this day the better, except that the PCP had two more players sent off. No excuses were heard from the absent one, and his sidekick who was at HQ trying to justify why the PCP were there anyway after the draw with Brizzle.

STALE v BUDGIES.

With Rob the Gob gone it was left to the soon to be leaving mighty Samoan to get the Budgies up for this game. This turned out to be the game of the season so far, with neither side getting much domination up front the backs were having a field day with both teams scoring almost at will. This game will long be remembered for two things the number of tries scored 24 in all and the fact that after losing by one point both Jason Robinson and Charlie Hodgson said they would be leaving the club.

PCP v THE MIGHTY SAINTS

With 14 players now banned and the mascot, the PCP home run looked in serious danger, but there was hope, rumour had it that Beano was coming home for one last time. With only minutes to kick off and the atmosphere almost electric (well as electric as it gets at PC, sort of more like a dud battery). It was announced over the tannoy that Beano had returned from Tibet and as the capacity crowd roared, BEANO, BEANO and then the man appeared, and the crowd gasped as the walked to the dug out with his shaven head and very scruffy Cotton Traders orange robes and as he gave a disgruntled looking nod, silence fell on Pooh Corner, everything was back to normal.

With Saints having the advantage of the best coach in the world and none of there team banned, it should have been a forgone conclusion but as for large parts of the game the PCP just stood next to there opponents miles offside punching them. Budge was getting very frustrated and after returning to the blood bin for the tenth time, had a quite word with the referee only to be told “this is Welford road they can do what they like, always have, always will”

The whole game was very scrappy and was on a knife edge until in the last minute Little Austin playing at ten received the ball with a two man overlap, the Saints fans went quite for the first time in the game and then as if by some divine intervention a gust of wind blow little Austin’s syrup right into his eyes, Smudger just smiled as Big John Leslie nicked the ball off the temporarily blinded little rogue to score under the posts. The Saints faithful erupted into a crescendo of noise and “Big John Leslie” could be heard for miles around. The Saints had won at Pooh corner, but the PCP were not unhappy they had witnessed singing at their ground for only the second time that season.

In the post match interview Beano said “ I have no complaints the best team won, we could have put up a better fight with a full strength team, but it serves us right for cheating for all these years, even with a full team I think Saints are to strong for us at the moment” with that he tapped his tambourine twice adjusted his scruffy robes and walked off into the distance never to be seen again.

THE MIGHTY SAINTS v BUDGIES

With the good news buzzing around the web site, Chris and RJD were busy trying to keep up with the record number of posters, yes Jason Robinson and Charlie Hodgson had both signed for Saints, to strengthen there already impressive squad.
Rob the Gob did make some sort of apology saying that he did not hear himself properly, but no one took any notice or cared.
As the big day approached the ticket office were again run off there feet, only more so because all the prawn sandwich brigade were trying to decide where England could tour half way through the world cup and so all the tickets went to real rugby fans and so amazingly by there oversight they had actually got some thing right.

The big day arrived and once again HQ was awash with Gold Black and Green the mighty Saints were lead out by Budge and the Budgies by the great man himself, the crowd gave a standing ovation to both teams. As the whistle blow to start the match the noise was deafening and remained so throughout the game, the game was fairly close with Saints scoring tries through Jorgy, Side show Joe and Dan the Man but with JW keeping the Budgies in it with a series of penalties. With two minutes to go the unthinkable happened Saints losing there own line out and the ball moved swiftly along the back line for Inga to score, up steps JW and the ball sails between the posts, four points down and in injury time.

The Saints restart and the Budgies knock on, is there time for the scrum, yes. As they pack down Morris mash gets the better of his man and the Saints get a penalty, bit the kick is no good as Daws taps the ball and feeds on to AB he beats two men and pops the ball to Budge, who sets up a ruck, is that it, no up steps Ollie clean through the Budgies defence to score under the posts. The saints have won again at HQ.

The celebrations go on long into the night and it is not until the next day that it all sinks in.
Saints the #1 ranked team in England again.
Smudger made patron saint of all Jimmies.
All this and a new stand I cannot wait for next season.
Now who says play offs are not a good thing???

Ajack
The Forest of Dean