By The Mighty Young Joe
May 31 2002

Hiya mates and sorry I haven't doned a story for ages but there's been lot going on. I have seen star wars too at the pitchures and it’s the Jew ba Lee (I fink the Queen is also a star Wars fan acuzz that sounds like a wookie or somefink.)It’s also Roswell fair week so I've been too busy to write. I feel very sorry for them Monster Munches from higherland, they were cheated out of the Yourupp pea and cup by them Le-chester cheatos. The unspokely ones are definitely using the dark side. Their coach Beano is really Darth Sidious and they have a New Zeerlander what looks like Jango Vett. But ha ha unspokelys you'll get yours acuzz we have all seen Star Wars VI.

Cliff Woodentop is moaning and whinging and going on and on and on about not getting enuff time wiv the Engurlund players. He wants them to go training wiv him twenty times and play ten internashunals and only play twenty twelve times altogether and have eleven weeks off. Please come back to my school and do some maffs lessons Cliff acuzz that lot does not add up unless the players only get to spend their summer holidays wiv the clubs. Oh hang they can’t acuzz you want to fly them right around the world to play against Auntie Tina. Well Cliff you need to learn your geography as well as your numbers acuzz Auntie Tina lives in Desborough, which Mummy says is like another country but I’m sure you don’t need a plane to get there!

I know it’s snooze news not new news but the are eff you are still bonky in the head. The BBC has offered them sevumpty gersquillion squids what is lot of money but they said no. Apparently that is not enuff to pay for their prawn sandwhiches. My Daddy says prawns are filter eaters which is a posh way to say they eat poo! So I fink that means that somebody what eats a lot of prawn sandwhiches is full of poo. Yuerch I hope I never go to dinner at the are eff you.

It’s the summer right? Well why is there still two weeks to go in the rugby season? It’s time to play cricket. In fact poor old markskaaa and Bonso will miss tomorrow’s game against Brisdull acuzz they will be at Hedgebashedin watching Engurlund play Shrewanka. It’s stupid really and it has all been thought up by the Eeyore ell. Yep if you fort the are eff you was bonky eds you should check this lot out, and no Eeyore ell, I have not let you off for your nasty treatment of Rotherum. The other fing is that all the growed ups plan their weddings in the summer so that they don’t miss no rugby, that is why my Mummy and Daddy planned their’s for July. Pretty soon Dad will have to persuade Mum that going to a game is loverly way to spend an anniversary. The worst fing about the Eeyore ell is that the bloke in charge Mr.Wheelie is from Pooh corner, in fact I fink he’s their emperor!!! When you fink of it that Jango Fett is a New Zeerlander so I fink it's an evil plot to stop Engurlund from winning the the World Cup.

Anyway we have to get on wiv it so me and dad will be sat shouting at the telly tomorrow and hoping we get another day out at Twick and Ham. First though we have to beat the Brisdull. If the cheetahs are the sith lords then this lot are the trade federation. Well there is no need to worry acuzz Smudger will have his clever plan up his sleeve, he is our Yoda and he will send out his Jedi’s, even without Ben Cohenobi the Saints will use the force and gersmudgerate them Brisdulls.

I'm off down the fair again so That’s all folks!
Come on You Saints.
Joe.
ps Just got home from the fair with a new pet. Tarzan the goldfish. Dad is being grumpy about it. Probably some weirdo vegetarian fing about keeping fish in bowls.