By Mighty Young joe
June 27 2002

Hiya mates. Well I can't wait for the new season and some more smudgerby from the Saints. But we are being spoilt. This is the longest season ever in the world and my Daddy watched four games of rugby on Saturday. Also we are waiting to see what new players the saints get. On Saturday, New Zealund gersplatterated Higherlund, France got beated again by Osteralia only a week after losing to Auntie Tina, Stotlund beated Umerica (but they like rounder's which is a girls game,) and the bestest fing of the whole flipping day was Ingerlund beated Auntie Tina at their home ground in Bennies Armpits which I fink is in Desborough.

I have been watching the football world cup what has been going on in the mornings so we have to go to school late. I fink football players should do some balancing training as they fall over very easily. Dad keeps shouting at the telly 'get up you blouse'.

Acuzz lots of people likes football they have put Ingerland flags in their windows and on their cars called Saint Georges Crosses. I asked Mum if Saint George posted on the COYSDC messy board. She said no acuzz he was alive when there was no such fing as puters or the internet and there wasn't even no McDonaldsies and even worser no-one had invented red sauce. I didn't believe her after that acuzz everyone knows it is impossible to eat wivout red sauce.

This Saint George geezer is famous acuzz he killed a dragon what was scaring poor people in a village. I’m sure if my Daddy was in charge of saying who is a Saint then this George geezer would get told to get lost for killing endangered speeshees.

Lots of players have left the Saints this summer and we are all waiting to see who Smudger is signing. There is lots of fings being said on the messy board and we know about three new players. Broonie did a list on the messy board of what he finks our Saints squad looks like. It doesn’t include the cad-dummy players what might be in the Saints if they are grown up enough next sea sun. Here is the list (sort of!) I have added capital letters what Broonie didn’t learn about in his school, or is it acuzz they don’t do big letters in Stotland? I have also included all the moomers. A moomers is somefink what people are saying what might be true but we don’t know yet!


Full Backers.
Bealy.

Mighty Joe Shaw is going to the Nucastle Dickie Birds!

Wingers.
Big Ben, Johnny Bravo Slight-gnome and Raspberry Ripple who has signed from Botherham.

Craig Moir is gone back to Stotland to play for Boredoms, Simon Webster has also gone to Stotland and Lucozade Martini has left but no-body knows where he has gone!

Outside Centrers.
Jorgy (as tuff as that Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin.) and Tucker.

No one has lefted and no one has been signed what I know about.

Inside Centrers.
Big John Leslie and Chrissie Hinesman.

Tom Kirk has been beamed to Bedford! Never mind it could have been Daventry!

Fly Halfers.
Larry Grayson and Archie Brooks.

There is a moomer that Ali H has also been sent to Bedford and he is going to drive their backs bus or coach or somefink!

Scrum halfers.
Matty Daws, Vassy and Johnny Howard.

There is another moomer that Domestos Meerkat has also been sent to Bedford. Blimey I don’t know why the don’t change their name to the Wanderers!


Pops.
We have got fowsands of pops! There is Tommy Smudger, Toddy, Brett Sturgeons, Muttley Stewart and Wobbie Mowwis.

There is a moomer that Chrissie Budgen is leaving, probably to Bedford wiv all his mates!

Hookerers.
If we have got fowsands of Pops we have got gersquillions of hookerers. Wally and Desperate Dan are the main men but we have also gotted Matt Miles and Miles and James Buckland what have played under twenty ones at the world cup!

Steve Bothersome has been playing for Dickie Birds but I fink he has also signed for Boredoms in Stotland.


Lockers.
JP, Rob Hunterer, Actionman and we have signed Steve Williams, a whale’s player, from Lundun Oirish.

Bruiser has gone back to play in France. I fink he was missing Disneyland Paris, Andy Newmums is going to play for Neef in Whales and there is yet another moomer that Arthur Brenton is left.

Flankerers.
Hurricane Blowers, Budge, Foxy.

Rennick is yet another player what has gone to Stotlund.

Number 8’s.
Snowy and Ali H’s brother Simon has comeback after two years in France.

Yet more Moomers say that Grant Lionel Seely has gone to the Wussies.

Mascot.
Bernie

There are no plans to replace the bestest mascot in the Zippee and we will not accept anyone like that silly camel or flash the Dickie Bird on free transfers!

I don’t fink there is enuff players to win the zippee but keep watching the messy board and read the Newshound acuzz I fink Smudger might do a bit of Harry Potter magic and get us some New Zeelunders what is fast as Speedy Gonzales, Strong as Superman, crafty as Bugs Bunny and can do Speshul stuff like Spiderman! I fink that Smudger has a plan and that plan is total gersmudgeration!!! Look out unspokely ones!

Come on You Saints
Joe!