By COYSDC Poets
July 25 2002

Godfather of COYSDC lryricity, West Midlands Saint, is joined again this week by the usual suspects as the messageboard bards bombard us with yet more poetical tributes to all things Saintly. the question of the week is undoubtedly: "Where do they find the time to rhyme?" West Midlands Saint
There's a new Jimmy Maori called Bruce
The first that our Smudge'll produce?
And those Zippee defences
Will all lose their senses
Reihana'll soon cook their goose.

St.Marlowe
On returning to home from the Cricket
Full of Fosters and Pimms, just the ticket!
I logged on to here
and through the fog of the beer
Saw a post with a subject quite wicked.

"Reihana Confirmed!" the posting cried out
and my heart missed a crucial beat
Wow, just what we need,
A Kiwi with speed
and hands so clever and neat

Our back three so spruce
with Ben, Ripple and Bruce
will be envied by all in the Game
fast, powerful backs
with no visible cracks
and a plan I can see through the lager
So c'mon all you Saints
Lets have no more complaints
(but please oh please let's have Umaga!)

Saintsby
Our academy Brendon will sort
In future less stars will be bought
He'll cut down on boozin, our youngsters won't be loosin
By other teams they'll be eagerly sought!

West Midlands Saint
I feel that I must vent my spleen
And state here, I'm really not keen
On the Saints Merry Men,
Well all except Ben,
Running out in that vile Lincoln Green.

At Bristol the boys came out clad
In those shorts - we all thought we'd gone mad.
But now, I'm afraid
What a cock up they've made
These shirts are ten times as bad.

Ah! come on old P.S.- see sense
These colours will cause such offence
Remember your mission
'Progress with Tradition'
I assure you - opposition's immense.

St.Marlowe
The green in the home strip's too twee
For WMS, Howlin and me
To wear it, I'm thinking
We'll need to have been drinking,
Or given the damm thing for free

So Mr P.S., I'll be paying the club less
not buying your shirt, large and wide
At Jetsco we''ll try, the trad shirt to buy
and wear it with masses of pride

A product should always be sold
after trying the market, I'm told
No consultation
gives sales aggravation
They'll be on racks 'till they grow very old.

WMS
If you don't want your profits to slide
You must sell your shirts far and wide
The Jetsco Design's
A much better line
And one that we'd all wear with pride.

WMS
To the tune of the Robin Hood TV show:

Smudger Smith, Smudger Smith
Riding through the land.
Smudger Smith, Smudger Smith
With his merry band.
Shirts that appear
Covered in Diarrhoea
Jimmy's shirts, Smudger's shirts, OUR NEW SHIRTS.

WMS
Oh the pressure of posting's immense
Some comments are really intense
I shall now take a pill
Go, lay down and chill
'Cos today, the big hollies commence.

WMS
There was a young aussie named Tune
Who when given a medicine spoon
Quickly opened up wide
But then tried to hide
The evidence - what a buffoon!

WMS
The off season's no bed of flowers
The summer is freezing with showers
But to make matters worse
Chris brings us this curse
KO - 5 weeks, two days and two hours.

WMS
Those celtic boy's passion won't wilt
Just watch Stockers and Broonie - full tilt
And we'll reel back in fright
And fear at the sight
Of what they've got under their kilt.

Saint Ian
Cheering on the boys at Northampton,
The scrum goes against the head,
Saints just didn’t care,
Their self-belief’s just not there,
They’d be better off at Bedford instead.

O Keith it’s not easy,
It’s so dreadful to see,
The way we are going,
We’ll soon be playing Otley.

Getting spanked at Kingsholm by Gloucester,
AB taken out by Lammy’s cuz,
The season had started,
Desire to win just departed,
Already we were lacking the buzz.

O Keith it’s not easy,
It’s so dreadful to see,
The way we are going,
We’ll soon be playing Mosley.

Going to the MadStad, what a dreadful day,
Watching the boys get really stuffed,
Our tries were lacking,
Our defence simply cracking,
Only the Irish left feeling chuffed.

A man called Smudger is called on,
The ex-coach of the ABs,
He arrives in the Toon,
His mere presence a boon,
Squeaky’s Falcons are brought down to their knees.

O Keith it’s not pretty,
Not yet ‘running rugby’,
But the rot has surely stopped now,
No more talk of Otley.

Many many wins again later,
And now we face the Toon at FG,
Transformation complete,
Performance really so neat,
HQ is the next place to be.

O Keith it’s so easy,
We are as good as can be,
The way we are going,
Who the hell are Newbury?

Turning up at Twickers in April,
Intending to dominate play,
But with the cruelness of fate
And the Irish too great,
It was a second St Patrick’s Day!

O Keith it’s not easy,
But now much better are we,
With Smudger on board now,
We gonna win the Zippee.

Yes, with the Team that we’ve got now,
We’re gonna reclaim the HC!

WMS
Five foot two
Eyes of blue
Raspberry's gonna murder you
Can anybody catch our wings?

Then there's Bruce
He'll cut loose
Wave your white flags
plead for truce
Can anybody catch our wings?

And don't forget, the greatest threat
Is Kingsthorpe's finest BEN.
He will score and that's for sure
It's just a question - when?

Oh what sights!
Give me frights
On the bench we've still got Sleights
Can anybody catch our wings?

Binary Bob
The troubles and strife,
Caused by one's wife,
Can seriously dent,
Your Rugby intent,
So divorce-get a life!