Never mind Wasps having to give up half a side for the greater good, they have plenty of spare forwards. London Irish has been enjoying its seasonal Spring roll (hoho). Surely, the boys weren’t going to follow up with another pancake – savoury or otherwise. There were not many pre-match believers amongst the web folk but it’s the team that counts and they were in the mood.

For a change, we have Delon in the stand with us serving his time for applying street justice on the pitch (and genuinely remorseful). The enforced rest won’t do him any harm going into the Sarries match but how he would have loved to get out there in front of the record crowd and TV cameras. Still, we have Steffon well and truly motivated (but then again he always is – just loves all that bashing around) and playing for both of them. He keeps a mental list of the big fellas he has knocked over as he gets his career into gear. Lolly is already on the list from Steffon’s days at Sarries but no harm in putting him down again in the Irish column if the opportunity arises.

Sunday Comes
Now then, let’s move on to Match Day. The forecast meteorological misery is mercifully wrong and we get to the stadium around midday. Car park pass having gone AWOL, please let me thank the Reading stewards that I met for believing an honest face. Fine men and true – never let it be said otherwise.

Pre-match saw Marie fitting out Mrs A with a rather fine Green Festive Hat – it didn’t come off until we reached Brixham again. The plastic shamrock chain found its way around my neck – rather “New Orleans”, I was told. Those nice people of LISC supplied the Prop and the Princess with oversize lollipops.

The pre-match patchwork of player interviews was a real treat – what a nice bunch of lads. Steffon and Richie seem to be made for each other but the prize for the best one-liner came from the deadpan Tonga.

“Who is the most famous person you know?”
“Well, it used to be Mike Catt….. but now it’s Shane Geraghty ”

Dreadful Guinness eventually forced us into the hotel to be replaced by no Guinness at all as the bar was 6 deep with orderly queues – no chance even to jump in. Eventually, I worked out that upstairs was not entirely corporate as I had been led to believe by the lady at the base of the stairs and my magic pass was good to get me to the empty bar – 6 deep with bar staff and no customers. I even got a “glass” glass and managed to sneak it back downstairs.

Match Pre-amble
It was nice to see the stadium full but now it was time for the real test. Could I pass muster as the Craic Match Day Reporter? Appearance is everything in these matters. I’m certainly always impressed when I read of copious notes having been taken. The Prop came to my rescue with a pen and notebook big enough to be clearly visible to South Stand observers.

I sit here on Monday morning with several pages of quite unintelligible scribble punctuated by the occasional code word – VGS, Lolly, Topsy, Maps and a series of numbers. Using the same abbreviation for metres and minutes was rather ill-considered. My other bright idea was to tap Steffon and Delon for their post match thought. Just a paragraph, I requested. OK, well, maybe a sentence. Well, what about a few words. Delon walked off and Steffon’s reply was unprintable. I thought maybe my Mother – watching the TV coverage - might be able to help with an observation or two lifted from the commentary but, having ascertained that “it was the one that you don’t like” (no, I don’t know who it was – I’d guess Will Greenwood but only because he said some particularly daft things about our boy once), it seems that she lost the sound from the satellite box. At least, I was able to tell her why she didn’t see so much of Steffon in the second half.

So, here we go with impressions of the match. Maybe, I can get away with it by re-defining the match report as a vague memory. Let me not be accused of tainting the report with second hand media reports – or too much attention to accuracy. This is how I saw it! (Apologies for any errors – spelling, grammar or otherwise)

The Match
To be honest, I don’t know where the time goes. One minute, I am checking the team sheet. The next minute, the Wasps players have all trooped off, there is a lonely Argentinean on the centre spot and a happy Canadian waving up at his mates in the stand.

The first half had much of the same feel as the previous week in Bristol. We had so much possession and territory that it seemed impossible to see how we could lose. However, again, the decisive attacking edge was missing and we struggled to make the breaks that would count on the scoreboard. For our efforts, all we had to show from the first quarter was a penalty attempt that went across the posts and a second by Barry that gave us the first points (3-0). The undoubted top performers so far were Phil Murphy with some fine defensive bursts and Maps looking at his dangerous best - once again showing the offloads that were so effective at Stradey Park against Llanelli. All credit to Alex King for getting up each time Murph ran him over – how many times was it?

It was at this point that Topsy showed again why the crowd loves him as he cut through midfield past the Wasps defence with a great line and step. A little less of a step and Topsy would have been in for a try. As it was, his momentum shift was so severe that he couldn’t straighten enough to stop crashing into Lewsey’s last ditch tackle. Disappointingly, the resulting Irish scrum on the 5 metre line was lost against the head.

Still, at last, we had shown some real penetration and it was only another 5 minutes until we scored from it. As Steffon bashed it up from halfway, Maps boshed a little further and suddenly Topsy was once again cutting through the Wasps defence. It is possibly my imagination but I have a picture of his trade-mark spin (see Bath, Spring 2006) that took him through the last attempted tackles over the 22 and on to score in the corner. A great conversion from Barry took Irish into a 10-0 lead.

Van Gisbergen – looking again like the classy fullback he is (no bias in these parts) – replied with a Wasps penalty. A further effort from Irish hit the left upright and the teams went in at 10-3 – nothing like a fair reflection of home team dominance in a half of rugby when the Irish try line was entirely unthreatened.

Stars for Irish (Half Time):
Murphy, Maps, Topsy and a big forward effort.

The second half started entirely differently. Suddenly Wasps had found their backs and looked immediately dangerous. Whereas the first half had seen little more than a series of big clearance kicks and a handful of jinking breaks from their Fullback, suddenly Wasps were looking a real threat out wide.

Some 5 minutes into the second half, the ball was whipped out to Bishay on the right flank for the Wing to skip round Losi (that’s me being nice about it) for an easy run in. The conversion put the scores level (10-10). Wasps were quite clearly alive and it was “Game On”.

By this time, Riki had taken over from Barry with Bish now at Fullback. This meant that our Wasp-in-Waiting would take over the kicking duties – as he had to bring home the win at Bristol the previous week. Successful kicks for each side took us to 13-13 as substitutions left Ben Willis alone on the bench (with Dr Death) and the Wasps danger was brought back under control by a determined all round Irish team effort.

It was at this point that Argentinean viewers should switch off. With under 15 minutes left, Maps (once again) hacked the ball down the touchline from halfway. Van Gisbergen, apparently having the threat comfortably covered, somehow managed to keep the ball in play with his mis-kick and Maps was thundering on towards the line ball in hand. It would have taken a huge effort to stop the express train of a man, but instead he delivered a fine pass inside to the supporting Juan. No-one will know which row of the South Stand Juan had planned for his landing (no doubt to be followed by a somersault) but the ball had other ideas as the flying flanker (note: this is not rhyming slang) crossed the try line at some altitude. This was gilt-edged nightmare stuff – guaranteed to live on for years. No match winning try and happily no damage to Juan who looked odds on to clear the advertising boards. Maps went straight to Juan with a hug (Nice Touch No 1) and I’m pretty sure the boys gave it everything to counter his misery.

The tense last 10 minutes saw Riki put over the second of his 2 late penalty attempts (16-13). The final Wasps attack ground to a halt with a scrum to Irish and we wound down the last minute with a forward rumble. The Wasps coaches were grumbling, we were ecstatic, Juan was still in shock and the Party went on. The fighting Irish are enjoying their Spring roll.

Stars for Irish (Full Time):
No doubts, Maps thoroughly deserved his Man-of the-Match award. His powerful breaks have already been mentioned. In attack and defence, he was a giant. The series of three crashing tackles late on the dangerous Erinle told you just who was boss.

Footnote:
As the Irish team shared the moment with the crowd, Juan was left standing on the centre spot with thoughts only he knows. Topsy turned and went back to comfort him (Nice Touch No 2).

Of course, we have experience of the messed up swallow dive – Delon at Sarries last year, ball knocked down by Jackson. I saw Juan afterwards braving the bar. We clasped hands as I passed:
“Never Again”, I offered with a big grin.
“Never Again”, he replied – with a big grin.

Bookmark or share this story with:

• Digg
• Delicious
• Facebook
• Reddit
• Stumbleupon

SPORTNETWORK SPECIALS