By Our FB7s Correspondent
July 5 2006

Every team seems to have at least one nowadays, even the Knights. Here is the profile of the squad's token Australian, Stuey. Despite a lot of probing, we at thersaracens.co.uk failed to ask what caused the facial expression you see on this profile. Answers on a postcard please to the usual address. Name: Stu Warren

Number: 17

Nickname: Colonial

Age: 27

Height: 5' 10"

Weight: 16 stone

Playing position: hooker-cum-half back

Past Fat Blokes appearances: 2004/2005

Who introduced you to the Knights?: Big H

Current club: Tring RUFC

Former clubs: Cooma Red Devils RUFC (country NSW); Universities RUFC (Canberra)

Honours: 2001 and 2002 premiers at Cooma, three promotions at Tring (03/04, 04/05, 05/06). But my finest honour has to be the Arse at the 2004 tournament.

Job: Making people's sports tour dreams come true!

Favourite Current Saracens player: Dave Seymour

Favourite All-time Saracens player: Mark Bartholomeusz

Favourite All-time player in the World ever: Joe Roff

Boyhood rugby hero: We didn't have rugby heroes in Tasmania!

Favourite Food: Lamb

Favourite Drink: Blackcurrant high juice

Why no.17: Fate

Worst rugby injury: Separated my collar-bone from my shoulder joint at Hammersmith a couple of years ago.

Most embarrassing on-field moment: Knocking on, over the line after returning a kick and beating a couple of (weak) tackles in a match back in Canberra.

Most embarrassing off-field moment: Falling off the bus on the way home from a match, putting my teeth through my bottom lip and walking into the pub, drunk and oblivious, bleeding all over myself.

What are the three things you'd love to do before you die:

1. See Australia win the circket and rugby world cups in the same calendar year (or did that already happen?)
2. Play premiership rugby for Tring RUFC
3. Ice fishing

What are the three things you won't do before you die:

1. Stop breathing
2. Be part of a gay marriage
3. Holiday in Blackpool