By Little Stinger
January 25 2003

Just to give you a change from other authors, Little Stinger weighs in with a piece full of Drunken Wasp tradition. Come on you others, get those stories in! Despite the outgoing Eurostar being delayed by some 30 minutes I walked into the hotel just before 7 p.m. to be met by other DW’s in the entrance lobby getting ready to depart to a local bar. A quick check in and drop off bag in the room routine ensued, before heading off into the night.

Nicholas, our French host for the evening, is now an old friend of the DW’s having been introduced to us one year before. The bar he had chosen was called the “Titty Twister” and bras were plastered everywhere, mainly stuck to the ceiling, though I cannot imagine what would have happened had they switched the ceiling fans on !!

The introductory offer was for a contribution of the appropriate garment exchanged for a free cocktail and T-shirt. The female DW’s were most reluctant to part with these particular items so after a suitable amount of liquid refreshment was consumed we headed to dinner. There were plenty of restaurants to choose from, and the Bar Romain took our fancy; we were not disappointed with the food or the service. A very stylish lady from Bordeaux (as we discovered later) took the eye of DrunkenDeutscheWasp - and two waitresses from Warrington - of all places - did for the rest of us...

Head back to the Titty Twister for a nightcap or two - to be welcomed by many other Waspies who had read about this rendezvous on the board. Many glasses of red wine later, and an interesting cabaret in the corner where further items of underwear (figuratively speaking) were trying to be removed by the two incumbents and before you know it the bell struck two and we were kindly asked to leave the bar.

Saturday - a post breakfast wander with Yeti on a very chilly Paris morning does wonders to clear the head. Off towards Notre Dame and a stop off in a 13th century chapel next to the Palais de Justice (who says us DW’s don’t appreciate a bit of culture). After one more coffee we were ready to meet up with the other DW’s and head off towards the luncheon venue at Le Prince, close to the ground.

Needless to say, although Le Prince is right by a Metro exit we took a wrong turning, and got lost (must be a legacy from Bordeaux). The scouting party found the correct place and the rest of us caught up sharpish. The Stade Francais supporters were already there to greet us and once more the wine and beer started to flow ahead of a prearranged lunch for some twenty five of us. Apart from the “Buzz Buzz” impressions it as also interesting that they called us the Waps!!

Just as things started to warm up, KevinTheB, PhilTheMascot and CillaOfTheDesert emerged from the Metro – to cheers of welcome. The Saturday morning contingent had arrived.

Pre lunch a toast was given to Oll who passed away recently. This was done in good taste and was well respected by Les Amis. Lunch consisted of a huge plate of cold meats and pates, coq-au-vin and a pear / apple tart - good stick to your ribs drinking food!

Post lunch singing ensued with the DW’s lead by Barney (now known as Pavva Wasp - when can he join up with Operatic Wasp and give us a rendition of the two tenors?) competing against the best of France. One of Nicholas’ friends appeared to be recording some of these songs so watch out Desert Island Discs!! It was clear that, at the end of extra time and a tie in the penalty competition, we’d win the Sing Off.

The SF guys were quietly confident ahead of the game - whilst I think we were quietly confident also given that a) if we were going to lose we would go down fighting , b) the 13 points difference would be enough to see us through, and c) we’d drink them into a cocked hat . Anyway it was decided that whatever the result of this match we were determined not to meet until the final next year.

Presents purchased for the Tiny Stingers in the SF boutique, though I could have sold the wooly hats on at a profit the evening was so cold.

SF have a very unique way of introducing the team - number and first name given by the stadium announcer with the crowd left to shout out the correct answer e.g.

Announcer: “numero neuf, Fabien”...

Crowd: “GALTHIE !”

Don’t think it will catch on at AP.

Our mascot dutifully led out the Men In Black, and then went back to the stands to get wrapped up in suitable clothing for a young Irish Kiwi!

The first half disappeared in a flash - penalty kicked by Dominguez, reply by Kinga (3-3) another Dominguez penalty (already this was getting boring) and then the first bit of magic by Kenny. Around the 14th minute Kenny finds space on the left and makes 40 metres, the ball was recycled by Stan and Volls to Fraser just outside the SF 22m - who runs at an angle towards the corner flag - quick show of the ball and a cut back inside to beat the defence. Try number 1 - right in front of the main Waspie fan base. Delirium breaks out. Kinga misses the conversion (6-8).

Needless to say Dominguez kicks another penalty (9-8) and SF then decide they need to get tries. Their attacks slowly but surely gained momentum. Also our line outs (throughout the match) were up to their usual low standard. We turned over so much ball to them that it was surely only a matter of time before our 12 point margin was reduced further.

Kenny magic No.2 - a long pass down the SF three quarter line was intercepted by Kenny just outside our own 22 metre line and like a greyhound after a rabbit Kenny was off to score under the posts. Yet more delirium. Kinga conversion successful score 15-9.

Just a couple of minutes later SF gave away a penalty inside the Wasps half, step up Kickin’ Kenny for a shot at goal - the boy could do no wrong (well he did fluff another long one later but we can forgive him for that)- straight through the middle and with a further Kinga penalty before halftime 21-9 was a sight to behold on the scoreboard.

Second half - the SF players returned to the pitch extra early for the second half either they were about to launch plan B, or they couldn’t wait to escape the tongue lashing they got from their coach. Warren, either craftily or by accident, kept our lads in the warm for what looked a long time.

Of course Dominguez gets another penalty (21-12) but though we didn’t know it at the time this was to be the last occasion SF troubled the scorer. The Wasps defence was awesome. Sometimes three Wasps players tackling the man at the same time resulting in lots of spilled ball and line outs to us. LBND was frequently marking their left wing and the guy just couldn’t find a way past - on at least two occasions LBND tackled the man into touch. What was also good about the match was that it was played (generally) in an excellent spirit with a pat on the back, shake of the hand etc when the guys were getting up after the tackle.

The final ten minutes brought the usual round of substitutes and though the match was safe (with Alex and Kinga getting a further penalty each - the former slotting it home from 55 metres!) the guys were so motivated to keep the SF try count where it was - zero - that even with SF attacking from the five metre line for many minutes they still couldn’t break through.

The main action at this time (apart from the subs) was Monsieur Dowd being sent to the bin. Shortly after a SF move broke down after Cheeseburger tackled Dominguez, swinging him round, which resulted in him cracking his temple on the leg of another SF player - instant KO. A short delay whilst the medics looked after him but the difference between the teams was apparent - with the SF guys stood still, hands on hips head down - our guys were jogging, stretching etc to keep off the chilly Parisien evening.

A few minutes later the match was over - the score on the scoreboard was wiped immediately - the home team were trying to forget the result already.

All off to the clubhouse bar for beer etc to celebrate a marvelous win -

- we were all still on cloud nine as we heard the other match results come in with the announcement that Ponty would be our opponents in the semis - do they have a vineyard we can visit as this was the only missing ingredient on this excursion.

Those choosing to follow the DW route for the evening followed Nicholas to The Stade - run by Peter de Villiers - where some of us watched a video of the match while a couple of our female members matched the SF calendar pictures to the players as they entered the bar - its not always easy to recognise them with their clothes on!

We made our way back to central Paris on the Metro

- where was Jabba the hut? - and finished off the evening with lemon sorbet and chips - well PhilTheB did- the rest of us had standard fayre washed down with lots and lots of red wine.

Au revoir, Paris - Ponty here we come.