By Kath 11/4/05 updated 1234
June 13 2005

Sir Clive Woodward has announced the squad for the British and Irish Lions Tour 2005 and with a bit of poetic license I have incorporated into a 'Knight's Tale'

'A Knight's Tale'

by Kath

And so that famous Knight Sir Clive of Twickenham, having conquered the Rugby Union World in the year of our Lord 2003 by putting to the sword the famous Wallabies in that far off land they call OZ. Oh! that was such a day, the Barmy Army and Peasants (that's us) were all there and with only '35 seconds to go' we all held our breath as that shining White Knight Wilkinson of Falconshire sent the ball sailing through the posts. There was much joy and merriment all over our land. (A moments pause here for a collective sigh and swoon)! However, this time the White Knight Wilkinson will stay at home!

Err moving swiftly on! So Sir Clive having sat on his laurels for a bit, chewing the cud (as you do), well basically he got fed up and wanted a new challenge - Step forward Southampton Football Club, whoops wrong time - that is for the future and a different crystal ball!

Let's try that again, step forward Lord Beaumont of Earlsfort who came from that Emerald Isle with a cause so great, 'The Lions Crusade 2005'. The cause being to defeat those 'All Blacks' and render their tribal HAKA defenseless.

And so Sir Clive of Twickenham, gathering his army of British and Irish Lions 44 to be exact, plus his management troop threw down the gauntlet to the Kiwi Nation, off course the 'All Blacks' always ready for a battle accepted the challenge. Their master being the wicked Henry of Wellington and at this point the peasants (that's us) all cried 'Oh Woe is Us'.

You see, this wicked Henry had infiltrated the previous Lions Crusade - needless to say the Lions lost that battle against that other tribe the Wallabies. Now we up in the North World don't blame him for this loss (and the peasants all cry) - Oh Yes We Do!!!!

Err moving swiftly on again, so Sir Clive of Twickenham having assembled his warriors of Leprechauns, Dragons, Bravehearts and Bulldogs named them on this momentous day!

The party features 20 Englishmen, 11 Irish, 10 Welsh and just three Scots, with Brian O'Driscoll to captain the Three Tests.

Iain Balshaw (England and Leeds) Geordan Murphy (Ireland and Leinster) Jason Robinson (England and Sale Sharks) Gareth Thomas (Wales and Toulouse) Shane Williams (Wales and Neath-Swansea Ospreys) Josh Lewsey (England and Wasps) Shane Horgan (Ireland and Leinster) Dennis Hickie (Ireland and Leinster) Tom Shanklin (Wales and Cardiff Blues) Brian O'Driscoll (Ireland and Leinster, capt) Gavin Henson (Wales and Neath-Swansea Ospreys) Ollie Smith (England and Leicester) Gordon D'Arcy (Ireland and Leinster) Will Greenwood (England and Harlequins) Stephen Jones (Wales and Clermont Auvergne) Ronan O'Gara (Ireland and Munster) Charlie Hodgson (England and Sale Sharks) Matt Dawson (England and Wasps) Dwayne Peel (Wales and Llanelli Scarlets) Gareth Cooper (Wales and Newport Gwent Dragons) Chris Cusiter (Scotland and Borders) Graham Rowntree (England and Leicester)

Andrew Sheridan (England and Sale Sharks) Matt Stevens (England and Bath) Gethin Jenkins (Wales and Cardiff Blues) Julian White (England and Leicester) John Hayes (Ireland and Munster) Gordon Bulloch (Scotland and Glasgow) Steve Thompson (England and Northampton) Andy Titterrell (England and Sale Sharks) Shane Byrne (Ireland and Leinster) Danny Grewcock (England and Bath) Ben Kay (England and Leicester) Malcolm O'Kelly (Ireland and Leinster) Donnacha O'Callaghan (Ireland and Munster) Paul O'Connell (Ireland and Munster) Michael Owen (Wales and Newport Gwent Dragons) Richard Hill (England and Saracens) Neil Back (England and Leicester) Martyn Williams (Wales and Cardiff Blues) Lewis Moody (England and Leicester) Simon Taylor (Scotland and Edinburgh) Martin Corry (England and Leicester) Lawrence Dallaglio (England and Wasps)